Thursday, August 07, 2014
- Thursday, August 07, 2014
- Elder of Ziyon
- Preoccupied
More from the humor site PreOccupied Territory:
Khan Yunis, Gaza Strip, August 6 - Among the many troubles plaguing this battered coastal Palestinian enclave, local confectioners are lamenting a lack of the right color sprinkles with which to decorate the sweets they will distribute when an Israeli is kidnapped.
It has long been customary among Palestinians, and among Gazans in particular, to hail Palestinian-inflicted casualties among Jewish Israelis with a spontaneous festive outpouring, often featuring the distribution of candy or other sweet treats. However, the fighting over the last month has made restocking all the necessary ingredients for such confections next to impossible, as Israel has allowed in only basic necessities through the Kerem Shalom crossing, and Egypt has all but closed the crossings from its side.
"We used up all of our red sprinkles ages ago, when those three Israelis were kidnapped and killed," recalled confectioner Mustafa Massikr, referring to three teenage hitchhikers shot to death more than a month ago near Hebron. "We used massive amounts of red sprinkles when we heard about those Zionists being captured, and then another huge load of them when we found out they'd been killed." However, Israel's Operation Protective Edge began soon afterwards, and that entailed restrictions on what goods had priority to cross into the Gaza Strip. Despite their dangerously low inventory, red sprinkles did not qualify.
"We almost had a difficult choice to make a couple of times over the last few weeks," agreed Rafah sweets producer Awil Killemal. "More than once there were reports that Hamas had succeeded in kidnapping a soldier, but it turned out not to be true. I'm not sure what we'd have done if there were actually something to celebrate. The green sprinkles are reserved for cakes decorated with the Hamas flag, and as far as Hamas is concerned, no other colors exist, so we're not allowed to import anything else."
"I almost find myself wishing for no Israelis to be captured," muses Massikr. "Is that perverse or what?"