Thursday, November 03, 2022
Elder of Ziyon
Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory.
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Heaven, November 3 - The creator ex nihilo of all existence, with complete control and absolute knowledge of every last detail of that creation, expressed appreciation today for the humor of your feeble attempts at disproving His immanent reality, supernal sources disclosed.
"Oh My Me, that's funny," the Almighty was heard to utter. "That human, and many others, believe that the limited, inadequate capacity of human language and cognition has any bearing on My nature." The LORD made the statement in response to a transcript of your contending that the paradoxical inquiry, "Can God make a stone so heavy that not even He can move it?" undermines the coherence of God as commonly understood as a tenable proposition.
"If God can make a stone that He can't lift then there's something God can't do, which means He's not omnipotent," you declared, with laughable confidence. "If He can make the stone but then lift it, then He can't make a stone that He can't lift, which means there's something God can't do, and He's not omnipotent. Checkmate, believers."
The Being that created the universe with the spoken word made heard what other divine beings heard as a chuckle. "I say God 'chuckled' because that's a word approximating the idea," cautioned the Archangel Gabriel. "Words, of course, as human constructs, cannot convey the fullness of God's actions or communication, as even the word 'God' is just a placeholder for His true essence that cannot be captured in the narrow capacity of language, and the pronoun 'He' is a pale reflection of what it represents in reference to God. My point is, the One who generated the very fabric of reality inherently possesses the power to create whatever He wishes and mold that creation to fit His will - and that omnipotence perforce includes control over Himself, which He can choose to restrict."
"In other words," continued Gabriel, "God can set rules that He chooses to follow, by which He will not do certain things. If appropriate, that may include not lifting a rock He has created. The rules are crucial for order, which He would disrupt by exercising non-selective omnipotence, and He therefore controls His omnipotence for the purpose of achieving the purpose of creation that He has ordained - partly to empower humanity to make choices that matter." You appear not to understand that, the archangel added, which, if he may remark, is hilarious in a pitiful sort of way, considering how smart and sophisticated you think your flimsy argument is.
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