Tuesday, November 06, 2012
Elder of Ziyon
Given the withering disapproval that Mahmoud Abbas has been getting for declaring that he would no longer want to live in Safed, this is an opportunity for another set of elections in the territories - and Arafat's bones should run.
Why not elect the skeleton of the only leader they ever had and who they romantically pine for? The bag of bones would win in a landslide!
There are other advantages to keeping Arafat's bones above ground.
He can be counted on not to make the same mistakes on TV that Abbas made. And his speeches will be less boring than Abbas'.
He is not in danger of being assassinated by Israel.
His political positions will never change, showing the strength of conviction that Arabs admire so much.
World leaders can invite Dead Arafat to their state dinners and UN events, just like the old days. He'll be praised as a moderate by New York Times columnists and "Middle East experts," just like the old days.
And Suha will get just as much love and affection as she did from him when he was alive.
No one will dare protest against such a revered figure, and Hamas would be rendered ineffective against the charisma of Arafat's corpse.
The new dead Arafat can no longer steal hundreds of millions of dollars from his beloved people.
There is a decent chance that he would win another Nobel Peace Prize.
From Israel's perspective, Arafat's corpse won't negotiate - but then again, neither did Abbas, so there is no change there. And new dead Arafat will not lie as much as either Abbas or the old Arafat. He also can't secretly mastermind terror sprees.
I think this is an idea whose time has come.
