Friday, May 16, 2025

Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory.

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Gaza Is An Open-Air Prison. How Dare You Suggest Anyone Leave!  

by Mehdi Hasan

Doha, May 16 - The images out of Jabaliya, Khan Yunis, Rafah, and Shuja'iyyah are horrific. Israel has brutally destroyed all the grandeur and rich life in the place everyone was calling the world's largest concentration camp - and now they and Trump think the Palestinians there should go somewhere else? Ridiculous and evil.

There is nowhere as beautiful as their homeland! How dare you encourage them to leave a place they claim to want to be in only temporarily because they're refugees from what's now Israel! Look at the paradise Israel destroyed, the one my fellow Qatar-backed voices deemed an open-air prison out of which Gazans broke out on October 7? Please, be consistent.

All open-air prisons get free electricity, international humanitarian aid, and infusions of Qatari cash. Well, I also get infusions of Qatari cash, but that just goes to show it's not a particularly remarkable phenomenon.

Encouraging Gaza residents to leave smacks of ethnic cleansing. Not like when Israel took all of its Jews out of Gaza in 2005 by force. That we call something else, because they didn't belong there. As opposed to the Palestinians who are there because they left other parts of Palestine, which means they don't belong in Gaza, either, for whom it would qualify as ethnic cleansing.

Also not like what Palestinians have declared they aim to do to the Jews everywhere in historic Palestine. Ethnic cleansing is something only happens to non-Jews. The Jews displaced from the Etzion Bloc of kibbutzim, or from Jerusalem's old city, in 1948, don't count. Or the ones expelled from Arab countries over the ensuing decades. But I digress.

They're starving in Gaza! Genocide! Humanitarian disaster! And we must KEEP them there.

Did I mention the genocide? By agreement with the Emir, I have to use the term in reference to Israel and Gaza at least four times a day. Hasn't been much of a problem keeping that provision of the contract. Definitely running a surplus. But I have to show His Excellency that I care, beyond mere adherence to the terms of the agreement.

Genocide genocide genocide genocide!

STOP TALKING ABOUT GETTING PALESTINIANS AWAY FROM A GENOCIDE, YOU MONSTERS.

Besides, you can't just move more than two million people. Unless they're Jews being banished from Palestine, because all seven and a half million must leave. If they don't want to leave, they can live as an underclass under Islamic supremacy, or die.

This is the humane attitude to the situation.



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"He's an Anti-Zionist Too!" cartoon book (December 2024)

PROTOCOLS: Exposing Modern Antisemitism (February 2022)

   
 

 



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