Israel Academia Most Embarrassing Moment Contest 2013

Im Tirtzu put together a list of the worst examples of anti-Zionist activities in Israeli academia for people to vote on. Their sarcastic descriptions are well done. For example:

Story 1: Accepting the Other and the Different: ″No Entrance to Jews″, Tel Aviv UniversityOn a winter's night in January, ″Ikra″, Tel Aviv University’s enlightened student group held an event to award scholarships. Participating in the event was the deputy leader of the Islamic Movement, Sheikh Kamal Khatib, who is known – as his religion requires – as a man of peace and love towards his fellow man, who, in a devout display of humanism, declared that Jews are ″fleas trying to harm Al-Aqsa″, and throughout an hour of pure, undiluted good will explained that Israel is ″a flea nesting in the body of the Islamic world and sucking its blood″. His great tolerance was even spread to the masses when he shared his message of solidarity with a police officer who came from Ethiopia: ″An Ethiopian-Negro police officer will not arrest a Muslim!″ Well, in preparation for the arrival of such a tolerant man of religion, Im Tirtzu members wished to see this humanist wonder with their own eyes. The members were overjoyed and filled with happiness and glee to discover that an atmosphere of equality had spread over the event: Jews were forbidden to enter.

Story 2: Award for Ideological Pluralism: Prof. Shifra Sagi and Prof. Hanna Yablonka, Ben-Gurion UniversityAgainst all odds, the administration at Ben-Gurion University invited MK Haneen Zoabi to appear at a convention titled ″Talks about being Israeli″. Her presence must have been extremely necessary, so much so that despite repeated requests, pleas and appeals from the audience, the administration proved admirably resistant. Indeed, how else can the subject of being Israeli be discussed without the official spokesperson of the position claiming that ″the Jewish people have no right to live safely in the State of Israel″? In a show of pluralistic solidarity, Prof. Shifra Sagi and Prof Hanna Yablonka praised the guest of honor for ″having the courage to come to the university″, and in a display of sheer, authentic, intellectual openness, it was made clear to students that whoever argues or responds to Mk Zoabi’s words would win a valuable prize: a special summons to the university’s discipline board.

Story 4: Award for Interdisciplinary Studies: Dr. Ma'ayan Agmon, School of Nursing and Nakba, Haifa UniversityThis year it was proven that one could get around the well- known saying ″there is nothing to revive because everything has already been revived″, an incredibly popular concept among nursing experts. In an amazing display of extraordinary control of current historiographical dialogue, Dr. Agmon succeeded in asserting the presence the paralyzed memory of the Nakba even in an intellectual field that until now was ruled by denial: Nursing studies. In her lessons in the course ″Introduction to Sociology and Anthropology″, for the first time in recorded science, Agmon compared the Jewish ″Holocaust″ and the Palestinian Nakba. Due to the fact that she was ahead of her time, Agmon was forced to spend the rest of the lecture trying to enlighten her reactionary students regarding the nature of the innovation: ″You need to accept that they also went through a holocaust, and you had better respect that″. 

Story 5: Award for community involvement: Admissions Process in the Academy of Art and Design, BetzalelOn a spring day in Jerusalem, a young lady who wished to study in the Betzalel Academy of Art and Design arrived for an admissions interview, and who had prepared by learning the best classics in the history of art. However, the Betzalel Academy of Art and Design is not content with such technical and popular knowledge. After all, questions about art are so eighties. Instead of such vulgarity, the interviewer chose to discuss a heavyweight yet abstract concept in the field of the Philosophy of Art: ″Is the Gilo neighborhood part of Jerusalem?″ After the young interviewee composed her thoughts, she replied that indeed, it was. Of course, after such a serious mistake, the interviewer would have been remiss were she not to immediately and totally disqualify the interviewee from any contact whatsoever with any art studies in such an august institute as Betzalel.

Story 6: Award for Contribution to National Security: Hebrew University in JerusalemAfter security forces captured Adel Hadmi in 1992 and sentenced him to a prison sentence following his membership in a terror organization, the Shin Bet faced a hopeless situation. Indeed, they succeeded in capturing the dangerous terrorist, but something in his academic education was still missing. Thankfully, the Hebrew University in Jerusalem came to his aid, stepped up to face the national mission and accepted Hadmi to academic studies in the Chemistry Department. But the university insisted on shouldering even more of the burden. In 2002, already a doctoral student, and in accordance with the universal scientific ethos, Hadmi assisted in planning and organizing suicide bombings in Jerusalem. The scientific effort to blow up Jews was foiled thanks to the involvement of Zionist anti-scientific elements, and Hadmi was again forced to suspend his studies in favor of another visit to prison. It was only three years later when the scientist once again saw the light of freedom, and availed himself to diligently complete his scientific research on ″Throwing Compressed Nitroglycerin on Live Tissue″. It was only this past June when the security forces' anti-scientific farce was put on hold, and Adel Hadmi was finally granted the vaunted title of ″Doctor″.

Story 7: Solidarity and Coherence: Bala″d and Chadas″h operatives in Haifa UniversityMany Arab students in Haifa University are known as ″Peace, Love and Brotherhood″ activists. The majority of them, in solidarity with their Hamas brethren, chose to hold a moment of silence during Operation Pillar of Defense in memory of arch-terrorist Ahmed Jabari, the organization's former military commander. The students merely wished to express their ire over the Zionist aggressor's brazen interference with Hamas operatives' right to exercise their national culture - which included throwing exploding objects at Israeli citizens - and against the Zionists’ murderous terror operation that harmed the legitimate rights of many terrorists....

(h/t Uri)