Thursday, February 03, 2022
Elder of Ziyon
Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory.
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Louisville, February 3 - An American Christian movement constituting part of the mainline Protestant demographic in the United States would not have the first clue how to go about filling its pews if it did not wallow in Judaeophobia thinly-veiled as support for Palestinian rights, leaders of the movement acknowledged today.
Senior figures in the Presbyterian Church (USA) voiced their anxiety at having to pull back from a staunch anti-Israel ideological and political line in the face of economic and social pressures, a line to which the affiliation has hewed in explicit terms for more than fifteen years, but stemming from decades of progressive activism with is ranks that often placed the church at odds with mainstream, pro-Israel Americans. Specifically, they fear the lack of a compelling message that will attract worshipers and adherents if they cannot channel venomous Jew-hate into anti-Israel policy and rhetoric. The membership crisis has seen membership tumble from over 3 million in 1984 to just over 1.2 million in 2020.
"I'm flummoxed as to how other churches do it," confessed Juan Tricponi, an Elder of the Synod of Boriquen, Puerto Rico. "I'm not just talking about other Presbyterians, most of whom are neutral or even pro-Israel. I mean American Protestants in general, and not only evangelicals. Without harnessing the grievance culture and the powerlessness that feeds the conspiratorial mindset behind antisemitism, what's a church supposed to do to appeal to the populace? Tout faith in God and His salvation? Please. This isn't the fourth century anymore."
"OK, that's not a fair comparison," he reconsidered. "Plenty of antisemitism in fourth-century theology and rhetoric, as well. Whatever, the point is I'd be hard-pressed to find a Christian vision and platform that will appeal to enough people unless we also incorporate the deicide charge against the Jews but dressed up as ani-Zionism. Who can even do that?"
"It might pay to have a look at non-Presbyterian churches to see what they do, since I understand they seldom have to face this dilemma," acknowledged Rev. Gregory J. Bentley, a moderator at the 224th General Assembly of the church in Baltimore. "It must be fascinating to have a theology and praxis that doesn't revolve around demonizing Jewish sovereignty and treating it with all the vehemence once reserved for Satan himself. Speaking for myself, I'm not sure I could stomach an approach to Godliness that doesn't incorporate a visceral intolerance for the Jew, or the Jewish State. I do hope it never comes to that."
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