Both Syrians and their rebels are Zionists!

Every day, the official Syrian SANA news agency has an article that has a variation of this theme:

Political Analyst Sharif Shhadeh said that Syria faces a Zionist-US project to undermine its resistant role in the region, adding that the Arab League's decisions are clear evidence on its involvement in the conspiracy.

Last week Syria even said that they captured Israeli arms and explosives from the rebels.

But the opposition says that it is Syria that is doing the bidding of those nationalist Jews:

A Syrian child holds banner reading “Israel protector, we coming to get you” during a demonstration against President Bashar al-Assad in Idlib. (Reuters)

Obviously, both sides are right. We are behind everything that happens in the Arab and Muslim world, and we manipulate them so they fight each other and buy our weapons and paper cups.