Thursday, September 05, 2019

Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory

Check out their Facebook page.

VCRMaale Adummim, September 5 - A resident of this town in the Judean Desert east of Jerusalem gushed with pride today upon mastering the task of setting his VHS machine in advance to record an upcoming television broadcast, a feat to which he has devoted the bulk of his spare time over the last thirty-two years.

Ofer Shaked, 70, unleashed a yelp of triumph this afternoon as he successfully programmed his VCR, a device manufactured in the 1990's to record and play video content on a television or display screen, via large cassettes with magnetic tape inside. The grandfather of eight and retired insurance agent shouted to his wife, Diklah, that he had managed to set the VCR to record the Wednesday night episode of MacGyver, a task he had been trying to accomplish, on and off, since 1987.

"I did it! I did it!" yelped Mr. Shaked, leaping to his feet despite his developing arthritis. A sudden onset of dizziness and shortness of breath from the sudden exertion prevented him from immediately answering his wife's query as to the details of his achievement.

"I programmed it! I can watch MacGyver whenever I want!" shouted the septuagenarian. "Is Airwolf still on? Remington Steele? The possibilities are endless! This is true freedom!" Mr. Shaked proceeded to call his children to inform them of the milestone, and to bask in the anticipated admiration they would no doubt display.

"Get me the TV listings!" he commanded his bemused wife, gesturing to the newspaper. "I'm going to program this thing up the wazoo. Heck, I'm going to record the evening news and watch it again just to glory in what I've finally managed to do. I better pick a good day - wouldn't want to end up rewatching coverage of some natural disaster or terrorist attack."

Shaked has, by his own admission, struggled to program the VCR since he purchased his first such model in 1984. "The instructions seemed perfectly clear for each one," he recalled with some wistfulness. "But I was never able to translate those simple directions into action. There must have been some mental or cognitive block that I've... I've now overcome. I feel so liberated. I can only imagine what I might accomplish next. That is, as soon as I finish watching all the programs I plan to record."

"Now," he concluded, "how do you connect this VCR to the new Tablet my children got me for my birthday? I don't see the right socket for the AV cord. And do you know where I can buy blank videocassettes? I can't seem to find any Radio Shacks in this neighborhood."

We have lots of ideas, but we need more resources to be even more effective. Please donate today to help get the message out and to help defend Israel.

EoZTV Podcast

Podcast URL

Subscribe in podnovaSubscribe with FeedlyAdd to netvibes
addtomyyahoo4Subscribe with SubToMe

Support EoZ by shopping!

search eoz



follow me

Follow by Email


Share on Whatsapp


For $18 donation

Sample Text

EoZ's Most Popular Posts in recent years


Elder of Ziyon - حـكـيـم صـهـيـون

This blog may be a labor of love for me, but it takes a lot of effort, time and money. For over 14 years and 30,000 articles I have been providing accurate, original news that would have remained unnoticed. I've written hundreds of scoops and sometimes my reporting ends up making a real difference. I appreciate any donations you can give to keep this blog going.


Donate to fight for Israel!

Monthly subscription:
Payment options

One time donation:

subscribe via email

Follow EoZ on Twitter!

Interesting Blogs


Abbas liar Academic fraud administrivia al-Qaeda algeria Alice Walker American Jews AmericanZionism Amnesty analysis anti-semitism anti-Zionism antisemitism apartheid Arab antisemitism arab refugees Arafat archaeology Ari Fuld art ASHREI B'tselem bahrain Balfour bbc BDS BDSFail Bedouin Beitunia beoz Bernie Sanders Birthright book review Brant Rosen breaking the silence Campus antisemitism Cardozo cartoon of the day Chakindas Chanukah Christians circumcision Clark Kent coexistence Community Standards conspiracy theories Cyprus Daled Amos Daphne Anson David Applebaum Davis report DCI-P Divest This double standards Egypt Elder gets results ElderToons Electronic Intifada Embassy EoZ Trump symposium eoz-symposium EoZNews eoztv Erekat Erekat lung transplant EU Euro-Mid Observer European antisemitism Facebook Facebook jail Fake Civilians 2014 Fake Civilians 2019 Farrakhan Fatah featured Features fisking flotilla Forest Rain Forward free gaza freedom of press palestinian style future martyr Gary Spedding gaza Gaza Platform George Galloway George Soros German Jewry gideon levy gilad shalit gisha Goldstone Report Good news Grapel Guardian guest post gunness Haaretz Hadassah hamas Hamas war crimes Hananya Naftali hasbara Hasby 2014 Hasby 2016 Hasby 2018 hate speech Hebron helen thomas hezbollah history Hizballah Holocaust Holocaust denial honor killing HRW Human Rights Humanitarian crisis humor huor Hypocrisy ICRC IDF IfNotNow Ilan Pappe Ilhan Omar impossible peace incitement indigenous Indonesia international law interview intransigence iran Iraq Islamic Judeophobia Islamism Israel Loves America Israeli culture Israeli high-tech J Street jabalya James Zogby jeremy bowen Jerusalem jewish fiction Jewish Voice for Peace jihad jimmy carter John Kerry jokes jonathan cook Jordan Joseph Massad Juan Cole Judaism Judea-Samaria Judean Rose Kairos Karl Vick Keith Ellison ken roth khalid amayreh Khaybar Know How to Answer Lebanon leftists Linda Sarsour Linkdump lumish mahmoud zahar Mairav Zonszein Malaysia max blumenthal Mazen Adi McGraw-Hill media bias Methodist Michael Ross Miftah Missionaries moderate Islam Mohammed Assaf Mondoweiss moonbats Morocco Mudar Zahran music Muslim Brotherhood Naftali Bennett Nakba Nan Greer Nation of Islam Natural gas Nazi Netanyahu News nftp NGO NIF Noah Phillips norpac NYT Occupation offbeat Omar Barghouti Only in Israel Opinion oxfam PA corruption PalArab lies Palestine Papers pallywood pchr PCUSA Peace Now Peter Beinart Petra MB poetry Poland poll Poster Preoccupied Prisoners propaganda Proud to be Zionist Puar Purim purimshpiel Putin Qaradawi Qassam calendar Quora Rafah Ray Hanania real liberals reference Reuters Richard Falk Richard Silverstein Right of return Rivkah Lambert Adler Robert Werdine rogel alpher roger cohen roger waters Rutgers Saeb Erekat Sarah Schulman Saudi Arabia saudi vice self-death self-death palestinians settlements sex crimes SFSU shechita sheikh tamimi Shelly Yachimovich Shujaiyeh Simchat Torah Simona Sharoni SodaStream South Africa Speech stamps Superman Syria Tarabin Temple Mount Terrorism This is Zionism Thomas Friedman TOI Tomer Ilan Trump Tunisia Turkey UCI UK UN UNDP unesco unhrc UNICEF United Arab Emirates Unity unrwa UNRWA hate unrwa reports UNRWA-USA unwra Varda Vic Rosenthal Washington wikileaks work accident X-washing Y. Ben-David Yemen YMikarov zahran Ziesel zionist attack zoo Zionophobia Ziophobia Zvi

Blog Archive