Elder Of Ziyon - Israel News

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

"I Refuse to Acknowledge Any Jew as a Human Being"

Following are excerpts from a debate between Lebanese intellectuals Yasser Qechlaq and 'Uqab Saqr, which aired on ANB TV on February 16, 2009.
Yasser Qechlaq, owner of dp-news.com: "We are facing a society that believes in nothing but force, violence, crimes, and the killing of our children and women."
'Uqab Saqr: "They also believe in rationality."
Yasser Qechlaq: "Hold on. I refuse to acknowledge any Jew, whoever he may be. I do not acknowledge his holy books or holy places, nor do I acknowledge this Jew as a human being. I acknowledge just one thing: That he is an abject, filthy, and usurping terrorist, and I curse him..."
'Uqab Saqr: "This serves Israel..."
Yasser Qechlaq: "No, no..."

'Uqab Saqr: "This kind of talk serves Israel. There are Jews who defend the Palestinian cause more than some Palestinians."
Yasser Qechlaq: "I refuse to acknowledge any Jew in the world, because he refuses to acknowledge my existence as a Palestinian."
'Uqab Saqr: "Neturei Karta is the most important Jewish group and they do not recognize Israel."
Yasser Qechlaq: "Give me a break. Just because some Jewish activists do not recognize Israel, you want to convince me that there is a moderate camp to make peace with?"
'Uqab Saqr: "All I ask is that you draw a distinction between the Jews and the Israelis."

Yasser Qechlaq: "I do not acknowledge the Jewish religion. I am a Palestinian extremist. I am an extremist for my land."
'Uqab Saqr: "The Koran respects the monotheistic religions."
Yasser Qechlaq: "Nevertheless, I do not acknowledge [them]."
'Uqab Saqr: "You are doing Israel a service without realizing it.
"When it’s a case of Muslims against Jews, the Jews win Western public opinion, whereas when it’s a case if Palestinians and Israelis, the West supports the Palestinians."
Yasser Qechlaq: 'You tell me that we should embarrass Israel. Do you think Israel can be embarrassed in the West? Israel humiliates France, the EU, and America. Israel is a European-American project which was planted in my region. This cancer must be uprooted.
..."If you go to America and defend Al-Qaeda, even though it is a Jewish organization with Jewish roots and culture... If you defend it, you will go to jail."

If you would take the words of the "moderate" "intellectual" Saqr alone, without comparing them to the Jew-hating nutcase, you would see that he is also an ignorant, hateful fool. But here, he seems positively brilliant and liberal next to the rabid Qechlaq.

Don't Say "Allah"

From The Star (Malaysia):

PAS spiritual adviser Datuk Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat says the use of the word “Allah” by non-Muslims is allowed.
He, however, added that it was up to the Federal Government to define the scope in which the word could be used, reported Bernama.

“I don’t want to interfere in this matter. Let the Federal Government decide,” he said in response to the weekly Catholic Herald’s use of the word “Allah” in its Bahasa Malaysia publication.

In Kota Kinabalu, Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department Datuk Ahmad Zahid Hamidi said the Government’s decision to ban the use of the word “Allah” was not restricted to the Herald but applied to all non-Muslim publications.

But Mr. Nik Mat's allowance of non-Muslims using the word "Allah" was not welcomed by all:

The statement by Kelantan Menteri Besar Datuk Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat that non-Muslims can use the word Allah is very confusing for Muslims, said the religious advisor to the prime minister, Datuk Dr Abdullah Md Zin.

He said this could cause disunity among Muslims as it touched on the sanctity of Islam.

So I apologize for using the word "Allah" here. And Allah knows best.

Do Israel's Arab citizens suffer from disadvantage? You better believe it. Do African Americans 10 minutes from the Berkeley campus suffer from disadvantage - you better believe it, too. So should we launch a Berkeley Apartheid Week, or should we seek real ways to better our societies and make opportunity more available?

When it comes to doling out the money, UNRWA and Hamas - both of whom seem to be more focused on empty rhetoric rather than working towards a peaceful Palestinian civil society - should be bypassed.

The most extreme manifestation of Freeman's realist ideology came out in a leaked e-mail he sent to a foreign policy Internet mailing list. Freeman wrote that his only problem with what most of us call "the Tiananmen Square Massacre" was an excess of restraint:

"[T]he truly unforgivable mistake of the Chinese authorities was the failure to intervene on a timely basis to nip the demonstrations in the bud, rather than -- as would have been both wise and efficacious -- to intervene with force when all other measures had failed to restore domestic tranquility to Beijing and other major urban centers in China. In this optic, the Politburo's response to the mob scene at 'Tian'anmen' stands as a monument to overly cautious behavior on the part of the leadership, not as an example of rash action. . . .

The last thing the international community needs to do is to fund yet another Palestinian media outlet that promotes hatred, violence and anti-Western sentiments. The new Fatah TV station is not going to be much different than the other Fatah-run media organizations. If anything, it will help raise another regeneration of Palestinians on hatred and glorification of suicide bombers.

So, under the cheery banner of building, in Clinton’s words, “a comprehensive peace between Israel and its Arab neighbors,” donor states are not only defying Israel to protect itself from rocket fire but they are funneling matériel to Hamas.

Is this ignorance or mendacity? I suspect the latter; no one is that dumb.

Quickies

Sorry, but lately I have not had time to research or post as much as I would like; and it might remain that way for a short while at least. Also I am having problems using Google Translate from home; apparently I left some auto-refresh Arabic pages on my browser for days and Google thought it was being attacked by a bot, so I have to use more indirect and slower ways to find Arabic articles, and cannot provide links to the translated versions.

Here's some stuff for today:

The British Medical Journal wrote an article accusing the dreaded Israel Lobby of an orchestrated campaign against it. So the dreaded Israel Lobby (actually, Honest Reporting) actually did an analysis of the bias that the BMJ shows in its articles relative to the real medical importance of the conflicts it is supposedly objectively covering:

Some of the humanitarian aid to Gaza ended up poisoning 80 schoolgirls.

An alternative "donor conference" in Tehran for Gazans has begun. Predictably, the Islamic Jihad Secretary General Shallah said that the PA should stop negotiating and start fighting, while Ayatollah Khamanei said that terror (i.e., "resistance") is the only way to save Palestine (two articles in Firas Press).

Israel allowed materials for a desalination plant into Gaza. (Firas)

George Galloway's convoy of aid for Gaza has entered Egypt, and it is due to arrive in Gaza on Sunday after a three week journey. It is being greeted with flowers. It includes 110 trucks of aid. Coincidentally, that is the number of trucks of that Israel sent in today alone which included supplies of pasta that thw world has been clamoring for Palestinian Arabs to have. (Two more Firas Press articles)

Guests of honor at a child-killer's wedding

Samir Kuntar, the despicable piece of subhuman garbage who smashed the skull of a four-year old girl after forcing her to witness his killing of her father and who was released by Israel to become a hero in the Arab world, just got married.

His wedding in Lebanon was attended by all sorts of celebrities, according to Palestine Today.

They included former Lebanese president Emile Lahoud (a Christian,) a delegation sent by Hassan Nasrallah, Iranian Ambassador Mohammad Reza Shibani, the director of Al Jazeera in Beirut, a mayor and a prominent artist.

Einat Haran, whose brain was literally smashed by Kuntar's rifle butt, would have been 34 years old this year.

Gaza attacked Israeli civilians 29 out of the past 35 days

While Hillary Clinton is fixated on Israel opening borders to Gaza and while billions of dollars are pledged to ease Hamas' burden of taking care of the area it conquered by force (I believe that would accurately be called "occupation,") Israel has gotten love letters in the shapes of Qassam rockets and mortars for 29 out of the past 35 days.

How many of the donors mentioned, as an aside, that perhaps if Hamas stopped the shooting at schools in Ashkelon and Sderot, that just maybe there would be a chance that Israel wouldn't bomb any buildings in Gaza?

As far as I can tell, none.

Oh, when Hillary went to Jerusalem, she managed to say "There is no doubt that any nation, including Israel, cannot stand idly by while its territory and people are subjected to rocket attacks." And even this watered down statement was immediately slammed by those darlings of the progressive thinkers, Hamas:

Hamas spokesperson Fawzi Barhoum asserted on Tuesday that comments by US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton represented an obvious call for the continuation of violence against the Palestinian people.

Barhoum described the comment as a direct incitement by the US against the Hamas movement as well as the Gaza Strip 's population.

Given the short track record so far of this administration, it seems that fear of such criticism, and of not being loved, drives policy as much as anything else.

The simple fact is that daily rocket attacks against Israel is considered fully acceptable by the world today. Even the ritual condemnations have stopped. The big problem is that the Gazans are not getting enough pasta, not that hundreds of thousands of Israeli civilians are forced to rely on miracles each day to stay alive.

Nobody in the world community is considering any possible way to discourage Hamas from shooting rockets. Hillary's statement of "support" is a joke because while it is easy to say that Israel cannot stand idly by, it is much more difficult to say that Israel can do anything about it with the wholehearted support of the US. The rules are that Israel can react - just as long as it makes sure it doesn't damage any buildings, crops, unarmed terrorists, and provides a terror-cheering population with all their needs forever. Not one of Israel's critics has ever answered the simple question - what can Israel do to defend itself that would make you happy?

The rockets continue, and they will continue, because the world hates when Israel defends itself.

In an interactive map on religious freedom in the Islamic world, Newsweek illustrates "Palestinian territories" with a picture of pre-1967 Israel.

(h/t DMartyr at Snapped Shot)

Interestingly, their picture of Egypt is also pre-1967 - it includes Gaza.

The most charitable explanation I can come up with is abject ignorance.

Perhaps we could clear all of this up if they had a report of Jordan's religious freedom, so we could check out whether the West Bank is considered Jordanian territory, thus proving that Israel really doesn't exist. But I guess they consider that Judenrein kingdom to be as liberal as Norway.

UPDATE: Newsweek fixed it.

The Gaza money immediately goes to terrorists

Yesterday's "donor's conference" may have been a bonanza for Hamas, but it was also a win for the Palestinian Authority.

A percentage of the $4.4 billion raised - it is unclear exactly how much - is not going directly towards Gaza at all, but to help prop up the PA. $600m of the American pledge of $900m is going to the PA to help its own budget woes as well as for new West Bank projects.

Did the PA rush to announce the building of new hospitals, or schools? Perhaps a new R&D facility or industrial park?

Not quite. The first press release following the donors conference announced that the PLO will give an extra bonus of to known terrorists:

Nablus – Ma’an – An extra 800 shekels (190 US dollars) will be added to the stipend’s given to Palestinians in Israeli prisons this month, Head of Palestinian Prisoner Society in Nablus Ra’ed Amer confirmed on Tuesday.

Each prisoner receives 1000 shekels (238 US dollars) per month, plus an extra 300 shekels (71 US dollars) if they are married, and an extra 50 shekels (12 US dollars) for each child. The stipend is paid by the Palestine Liberation Organization (PLO) each month.

There are currently 4,500 men and women registered as prisoners in Israeli prisons. The increase will be applied to February’s payment, set to go through banks this week.

Amer explained that the increase was made following the instructions of Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas.

Yes, every terrorist in an Israeli jail - people who drove suicide bombers to blow up women and children, people who ordered "martyrdom operations," people who attacked any Jew they could find - gets thousands of dollars annually from the cash-strapped PA, which of course gets its money from successful donors conferences like yesterday's. Every year they get about $16 million, assuming an average of $300 per prisoner per month. And in February alone, they get an additional $855,000.

This is money only for living terrorists. It does not count the stipend that the families of suicide bombers and other "martyrs" get in perpetuity, which together with the prisoner money was estimated in 2005 at being up to $100 million annually.

Meanwhile, Saudi Arabia pledged $1 billion. In the past, Gulf nations have been big on pledges for their Palestinian Arab brethren and very bad at actually paying up. They don't trust the PA to spend the money wisely. If they trust Hamas more, they cannot quite say that out loud. In this case, the Saudis want to spend the money however they see fit:

Prince Saud said “Saudi Arabia has set up a mechanism to submit its share via the Saudi Development Fund in cooperation with the Islamic Development Bank and Gaza-based international organizations, to send the required materials, and to choose the projects which will be implemented.”

On Sunday, the Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC) states, which pledged a total of $1.6 billion on Sunday, decided to set up an office in Gaza to carry out reconstruction over five years, by deciding on and implementing projects.

“In this context, we hope that the GCC-launched Gaza reconstruction program would contribute to coordination and follow-up of execution by its funded projects,” Prince Saud said.

Will this money go directly towards terror groups? Well, one hint comes from the one guarantee that the Saudis seek before giving the money:

The foreign minister called upon the international community to guarantee the reconstruction effort by making Israel “bear the legal and financial consequences of any aggression, and not to view the situation with double standards.”

In other words, if Hamas shoots a few thousand more rockets at Israel, Saudi Arabia is demanding that Israel cannot defend itself - period. Hamas, however, has no limitations on its own behavior - they get the money for free.

And what do the residents of Sderot get from the international community for damage to their town and millions of cumulative sleepless nights? So far, one very generous donation of - Legos.

Puzzled in Gaza (Yvonne Green, JPost)

Amazing:

I'm a poet, an English Jew and a frequent visitor to Israel. Deeply disturbed by the reports of wanton slaughter and destruction during Operation Cast Lead, I felt I had to see for myself. I flew to Tel Aviv and on Wednesday, January 28, using my press card to cross the Erez checkpoint, I walked across the border into Gaza where I was met by my guide, a Palestinian journalist. He asked if I wanted to meet with Hamas officials. I explained that I'd come to bear witness to the damage and civilian suffering, not to talk politics.
What I saw was that there had been precision attacks made on all of Hamas' infrastructure. Does UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon criticize the surgical destruction of the explosives cache in the Imad Akhel Mosque, of the National Forces compound, of the Shi Jaya police station, of the Ministry of Prisoners? The Gazans I met weren't mourning the police state. Neither were they radicalized. As Hamas blackshirts menaced the street corners, I witnessed how passersby ignored them.
THERE WERE empty beds at Shifa Hospital and a threatening atmosphere. Hamas is reduced to wielding its unchallengeable authority from extensive air raid shelters which, together with the hospital, were built by Israel 30 years ago. Terrorized Gazans used doublespeak when they told me most of the alleged 5,500 wounded were being treated in Egypt and Jordan. They want it known that the figure is a lie, and showed me that the wounded weren't in Gaza. No evidence exists of their presence in foreign hospitals, or of how they might have gotten there.
From the mansions of the Abu Ayida family at Jebala Rayes to Tallel Howa (Gaza City's densest residential area), Gazans contradicted allegations that Israel had murderously attacked civilians. They told me again and again that both civilians and Hamas fighters had evacuated safely from areas of Hamas activity in response to Israeli telephone calls, leaflets and megaphone warnings.
Seeing Al-Fakhora made it impossible to understand how UN and press reports could ever have alleged that the UNWRA school had been hit by Israeli shells....
...
THE GAZA I saw was societally intact. There were no homeless, walking wounded, hungry or underdressed people. The streets were busy, shops were hung with embroidered dresses and gigantic cooking pots, the markets were full of fresh meat and beautiful produce - the red radishes were bigger than grapefruits. Mothers accompanied by a 13-year-old boy told me they were bored of leaving home to sit on rubble all day to tell the press how they'd survived. Women graduates I met in Shijaya spoke of education as power as old men watched over them.
No one praised their government as they showed me the sites of tunnels where fighters had melted away. No one declared Hamas victorious for creating a forced civilian front line as they showed me the remains of booby trapped homes and schools.
From what I saw and was told in Gaza, Operation Cast Lead pinpointed a totalitarian regime's power bases and largely neutralized Hamas's plans to make Israel its tool for the sacrifice of civilian life.
Corroboration of my account may be found in tardy and piecemeal retractions of claims concerning the UNWRA school at Al-Fakhora; an isolated acknowledgment that Gaza is substantially intact by The New York Times; Internet media watch corrections; and the unresolved discrepancy between the alleged wounded and their unreported whereabouts.

And the nations of the world was so taken in by the staged testimonies and photos of Gaza that they have just pledged many more billions of dollars to help Hamas build their next generations of weapons and kidnapping tunnels. It is indirect aid to terrorists, but any way you look at it, Hamas is the winner.

A brief demolition of Roger Cohen

by Michael Rubin in NRO:

I came across this column by the New York Times's Roger Cohen entitled "What Iran's Jews Say" and his defense of it, here. What to say? I'm familiar with the synagogue and attended it when I lived in Isfahan. I chatted with some of the university-aged students who had taken shelter in an attached guesthouse because, as Jews, they were beat up in the university dormitories. Men and women both referred to the Jews' representative in the Parliament as a flunky for the regime, and would not discuss problems or issues when he was around. Several would say one thing in the synagogue, but when we went to parks on took walks through the city, they would bend over backwards to make clear that they cannot talk freely in the synagogue since the walls have ears. The same sentiment was expressed at synagogues in Tehran and Shiraz. Cohen, however, talks to him as the authority and takes his word that he is not a quisling. True, Jews are better of in Iran than in many neighboring countries, but there is a reason why their number has dropped by 80% over the last three decades. Cohen simply appears on a propaganda tour; parachuting in, an eager receptacle for his regime minders. It should not surprise that his column now graces the pages of the regime's mouth piece, The Tehran Times.

As others have noted, this is a lot like Walter Duranty, Herbert Matthews and Mike Wallace credulously believing the words of dictators and their quislings.

Someone noticed a double standard

From Comment Is Free, Elizabeth Jay:

You could be forgiven for thinking that Avigdor Lieberman's Yisrael Beiteinu party came in first, rather than third, and that it garnered 90% of the Israeli public's vote, rather than 12%. You could also be forgiven for thinking that the prospect of a Likud-led coalition ought to be as feared as the prospect of Armageddon. After all, Israel's Likud party, combined with Yisrael Beiteinu, is surely a recipe for the most extreme political force ever to emerge in that liberal haven that is the Middle East.
In any case, the outcome got a unanimous thumbs-down, with the Guardian even claiming that it threatened to ruin Obama's entire foreign policy in the Middle East, Iran, Afghanistan and Pakistan. This caused me to cast my mind back to another election altogether – the Palestinian parliamentary election in January 2006. Hamas won a decisive victory over Fatah in Gaza, leaving the international community to ponder how it was going to sit around the table with a party whose signature policy is indiscriminate suicide bombing in public places.
How did the media respond back then? Did editorials predict the end of all things good and bemoan the state of Palestinian politics? Not really. The Guardian, while somewhat apprehensive, said that the Hamas victory "may bring new opportunities to the immense task of building peace between two peoples who have been fighting for far too long in the same small country". The Independent was adamant that "The democratic voice of the Palestinian people has been heard. And now we must deal with the new reality." The Daily Telegraph's editorial was titled, "The west and Hamas must talk to each other" and opined, "there is much to be said for engaging with Hamas." Only the Times exhibited extreme caution, claiming that the outcome was, "a huge blow to the peace process".
So, when radicals come third in Israel, it puts everything in jeopardy and Israeli society 'has to take a hard look at itself" (Jonathan Freedland). But when extremists win by a landslide in Gaza, then there are still signs of hope; besides, the Palestinian people have spoken loud and clear and who are we in the west to question them?
I also noticed that journalists covering the Israeli election have seemed very concerned about Lieberman and his party being "fascist" and "racist". But this is not terminology I recall them applying three years ago to Hamas, which, unquestionably, has its fair share of fascists and racists. A case of such a journalist in point is Ali Abunimah: in his response to the Israeli election, he lambasted the "proto-fascist Yisrael Beiteinu" and its "racist" leader. And yet, if you scour his article from three years ago about Hamas' electoral victory, you won't find a single word critical of the group, let alone accusations of fascism or racism. The mainstream media followed a similar pattern, labelling Hamas merely as "hard line" (The Independent) and even "increasingly pragmatic" (Financial Times, January 27) in 2006.

This is excellent, but I also want to note that even this writer, attuned to how language is used differently when referring to Israelis and Arabs, suffers from the same problem herself.

She considers someone who wants all Israeli citizens, Jew and Arab, to take a "loyalty oath," and who has publicly advocated a Palestinian Arab state that includes part of what is within Green Line Israel, to be "radical."

(h/t Just Journalism mailing list)

The back door to "Palestinian unity"

Even if the Hamas/PA negotiations are successful, and even if Hamas agrees in some symbolic way to avoid explicit support for terror attacks, and even if they manage to convince the EU and the UN that the combined entity is willing to adhere to existing PA commitments...

...there is still an easy way for terrorists to continue to attack Israel with impunity.

Today, Islamic Jihad announced that they will not take part in any potential "national unity" government. Similarly we have supposedly new organizations like Palestinian Hizbollah Brigades whose entire stated purpose is to continue terror when the more mainstream groups have public truces.

We have seen in the past that members freely go between the terror groups and that attacks are often jointly executed. Similarly, we have seen Palestinian Arab leaders pretend to be helpless when these "rogue" groups continue their attacks, as they aim to gain Western sympathy and aid while they can clandestinely support the all-important "resistance." Hamas might have had little patience for the Al Aqsa Brigades after their Gaza coup, but they are quite happy to allow Islamic Jihad to control many dunams of land in the densely-populated Strip purely for terror training.

It is an old playbook, and it is one we can expect to see again and again as long as gullible Westerners continue to believe their own wishful thinking more than the ugly facts.

Would you call this...disproportionate?

Representatives of dozens of countries are meeting in Egypt to donate billions of dollars to rebuild Gaza.

At exactly the same time, none of them seem to have a problem with the fact that rockets continue to be shot from Gaza every day, and it is only a matter of time before these billions of dollars get destroyed in a new Israeli operation.

One would think that perhaps they would notice that billions of dollars would be better spent on disarming Hamas, or relocating Gazans to other Arab countries, or pressuring Egypt to annex Gaza and paying them to take care of Hamas, or any other solution that would:

a) Be permanent
b) Actually help people for longer than a few months

Yet somehow they are fixated on the idea that Hamas' existence as an entity singlemindedly dedicated to Israel's destruction is only a minor problem that can be papered over with cash.

Stealth Conflicts has a neat graphic representing the relative death tolls of recent conflicts in the world. I modified it to show three conflicts at once: (h/t Backspin)

Yet if a similar graphic would be shown on how much money the world has spent on these three conflicts, you could probably just swap the Israel-Palestine and DRC labels and it would still be pretty accurate.

In the case of Palestinian Arabs, history shows that throwing money at the issue is the best way to perpetuate it. Right now in Gaza all the parties are jockeying for position to control the huge influx that is forthcoming from well-meaning and ultimately stupid Westerners.

One thing is certain: all that money will not help a single Gazan for more than a short period of time, but it will help the Gaza terror groups hold onto their power.

Evil Zionist Settler Pigs - part 5

Ma'an breathlessly reports:

Dozens of pigs belonging to Israeli settlers attacked a Palestinian young man from the village of An-Nasarieyah, north of the West Bank city of Nablus, on Sunday.

Palestinian medical sources said that Ayman Ibrahim Hamdan, 25, was transferred to Rafidia Hospital in the city after being bitten by one of the pigs.

Hamadan told Ma’an that dozens of pigs unleashed by the Israeli settlers of the illegal settlement of Al-Hamra adjacent to the village had attacked him while he was in his farm in the village.

Once again, the diabolical and fanatically Jewish settlers have been shown to raise and domesticate wild pigs for one reason and one reason only - to attack Palestinian Arabs. Apparently, their hatred for Arabs is so all-consuming that they will spend years breeding animals that have no value whatsoever in a Jewish state, just to have them cause slight damage to Arab crops every few months.

Now, that's dedication!

We have previously seen these highly intelligent and trained pigs selectively attack Arab tomatoes, farmers, and garbagemen. We have also seen that the Jews managed to herd the pigs onto the Arab side of the West Bank fence.

Stop Lindsay Lohan's Conversion!

No!!!!

Lindsay Lohan is converting to Judaism in a bid to prove her devotion to Jewish girlfriend Samantha Ronson.
Although raised a Catholic, the 22-year-old star announced she was planning to change her faith on her Facebook page.
After jetting into London last week, Lindsay joined girlfriend Samantha at the Bar Mitzvah of the DJ's half-brother Joshua Ronson at the Westminster Synagogue on Saturday.
Showing her seriousness about converting, Lindsay had also visited the synagogue the day before with Samantha and her designer sister Charlotte.
Entering the synagogue, a photographer asked Lindsay if she was switching religions, to which she replied: 'I'm trying.'
Updating her Facebook status this week, Lindsay wrote 'I'm converting'.

No. G-d Almighty, no. On behalf of all right-thinking Jews everywhere, we must do everything necessary to stop this spoiled, bubbleheaded, moronic bimbo from becoming anything like what a Martian could accidentally and fleetingly think was close to something vaguely similar to a religion barely resembling Judaism.

In the name of all that is holy, this must be stopped.

We don't want her. We don't want to see any newspaper articles that mention "Lohan" and "Jewish" in the same paragraph. Hell, we don't want those terms mentioned in the same encyclopedia. Jews don't need to see the inevitable 2010 article saying "The hard-partying 'Freaky Friday' star who recently converted to Judaism was arrested for reckless driving, disorderly conduct and cocaine possession."

It is time to act.

I am hereby announcing the formation of the Please Stay a Shiksa fund.

I am kicking off a fundraiser to pay any cleric from any other religion a significant amount of money if you can convince Lohan to join your religion instead of Judaism. That's right - you make her a Confucian or a Rastafarian, and you can get big bucks.

Bonuses if you can take all the shallow, airhead Hollywood Kabbalists along with her. Once one goes, the rest should be pretty easy, as their capacity for independent thought was never too high to begin with.

I'm seeding the Please Stay a Shiksa fund with my own pledge of $250.

For those who agree, I implore you to contribute what you can to this vital cause.

UPDATE: From LGF:
Iron Bill:

As the self appointed spokesman for sane Catholics, I would like to convey the following message to my Jewish brothers and sisters: You are welcome to take her.

(As we speak the Vatican is appropriating money from the "Take The Shiksa Fund." This fund was previously used to direct Madonna towards Kabbalah)

EoZ: