This week's humor column from PreOccupied Territory:
Paris, July 22 - Members of Paris's Jewish community voiced relief today, following a riot by pro-Palestinian demonstrators who ransacked Jewish-owned businesses and threatened Jews, that Jew-hatred in Europe no longer exists.
It has long been claimed that a sovereign Jewish state is unnecessary as a refuge for Jews, since, with the defeat of Nazi Germany in World War II, antisemitism ceased to be. The Jews of Paris have welcomed the new era of tolerance and acceptance, as they walk the streets only in groups of four or more, and attempt to conceal any outward sign of their Jewishness when in public.
Throngs of demonstrators shouting slogans such as, "Death to the Jews!" and "Hitler was right!" marched through the capital's Sarcelles suburb ostensibly to protest Israel's actions in the Gaza Strip, but the protest quickly turned violent as the activists vented their rage at local symbols of Jewish life. Multiple rioters were arrested and the Minister of the Interior harshly condemned the violence, which proves that Jews no longer need fear being targeted for racially motivated violence.
France boasts the continent's largest Muslim and Jewish populations, and in recent years, rage over the plight of Palestinians has exploded into violence by Muslims in France against Jews, most notably the murder of a Toulouse father and several of his children two years ago. Jews in France are grateful for the feeling that they are at home there, and that there are no Nazi-like rioters spouting rhetoric that calls for Jewish extermination.
Record numbers of French Jews have been buying property in Israel or moving there in response to the rise of violence against Jews, an oddity considering the tranquility and peaceful coexistence that characterizes the Jewish French existence, now that they no one ever blames them for causing all of the world's problems anymore.
"I feel safe here," said Emanuel Levi, sweeping up the shards of shattered glass from his fashion shop display window. "As long as I have a police escort. It's a fine life. We get to experience living in one of the world's capitals of culture, with the occasional splash of color from North African migrants hurling firebombs at my family."