Thursday, February 06, 2020

Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory

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Rafah, February 6 - The departed spirit of an American activist who sought to shield a terrorist armaments cache with her body but ended up crushed by a bulldozer must spend the rest of eternity looking on as Israeli soldiers and machines continue to dispose of war materiel intended for use by the terrorist groups she tried to defend, sources in the transcendental realm disclosed today.

Reporters in the World of the Souls confirmed to PreOccupied Territory Thursday morning that Rachel Corrie's spirit suffers everlasting torment in the form of being forced to watch every instance of the IDF interdicting, destroying, or otherwise rendering inaccessible any weapons, explosives, ammunition, or other instruments of war in the possession of Hamas or allied Palestinian terrorist groups, or such materials on their way to said groups.

"Ms. Corrie inhabits the eternity she created for herself," a spectral representative stated. "Her choice in 2003 to enter a closed military area - effectively a war zone -  to serve as cover for terrorists and to prevent soldiers from stemming the flow of arms to those terrorists, all while claiming the mantle of 'human rights' among other dubious goals, led her to stand in front of an armored bulldozer whose driver had limited visibility, and who was trying to destroy a weapons-smuggling tunnel. Her decision to side with murderous thugs who target children and other innocents as a core part of their ideology, and who would otherwise target Corrie herself for her non-Islamic allegiances and lifestyle, brought her to this place."

Corrie took part in an operation by the pro-Palestinian group the International Solidarity Movement to disrupt IDF activities in this town bordering Egypt, where an unknown number of smuggling tunnels and weapons caches ran under the frontier. Most of the passages led into homes or other civilian structures near the Philadelphi Road running parallel to the boundary, structures that also often served as cover for Palestinian snipers firing on IDF troops patrolling the area or engaged in operations to find and destroy the tunnels and weapons. Israel withdrew its soldiers and uprooted thousands of residents from the Gaza Strip in a unilateral disengagement two years later; the smuggling and armed attacks on Israelis have continued.

Corrie's ghost remained unavailable for comment; a spokespecter told journalists that until other materials come to light, her eternal consciousness will be forced to view video of the capture of a Hamas armaments-smuggling boat in an operation that took place this past November.

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Elder of Ziyon - حـكـيـم صـهـيـون

This blog may be a labor of love for me, but it takes a lot of effort, time and money. For over 14 years and 30,000 articles I have been providing accurate, original news that would have remained unnoticed. I've written hundreds of scoops and sometimes my reporting ends up making a real difference. I appreciate any donations you can give to keep this blog going.


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