Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory.
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London, December 23 - Firebrand MP and former Mayor of Bradford George Galloway expressed a desire to return to Labor, following his failure to join the Nazi Party, who dismissed him as too racially prejudiced.
Galloway, currently sitting in Parliament as a member of the Respect Party, was expelled from Labor twelve years ago, after calling on British troops in Iraq to refuse to obey their "illegal orders." He has cultivated a base of loyalists opposed to Israel and the West in general, and has expressed admiration and support for brutal dictators such as Saddam Hussein and Muammar Qaddafi. He ran for Parliament following a failed reelection bid for the mayoralty of Bradford, and seeks the same office in London, but since his dismissal from Labor has yearned for an established party that better reflects his sensibilities. The Nazis, however, rejected Galloway, saying he was far too racially divisive for their tastes.
"Dude...no," said a Nazi representative, recalling his response to Galloway's application. The Nazi spoke to PreOccupied Territory on condition of anonymity, as he was too ashamed to be associated with the Galloway debacle.
While many of Galloway's statements and declared goals align with Nazi ideology, explained the representative, he simply holds views that are excessively racist. "The guy is a caricature of himself. No self-respecting party, regardless of its name, if it wants to be taken seriously, can accept that....thing in its ranks." He also noted the former mayor's distaste for military force, at least as applied by his own country, and said that such an attitude was incompatible with Nazism.
Labor chairman Jeremy Corbyn declined to rule out Galloway's return to the party, saying such a move should be decided by the party organs tasked with such a decision. The Labor leader expressed surprise that the Nazis had rejected his colleague. "I'd have thought George and the Nazis were a good fit, actually. Perhaps there's something they know that we don't regarding the suitability of certain people for public office."
Corbyn himself might not remain with Labor much longer, it is rumored, especially in light of recent developments in the Middle East. Aside from rank-and-file dissatisfaction with his hard-left leadership so far, a possible early election in Israel has politicians there voicing a desire to have him assume leadership of Israel's Labor Party.
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