Friday, October 14, 2016

Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory

Check out their Facebook page.

golemGeneva, October 13 - The United Nations Human Rights Council held a session today on the Prague Jewish community's use of a golem to defend against massacres by the non-Jewish populace, and voted to condemn the use of such measures as illegally impinging on the rights of those non-Jews to perform the massacres, rapes, and destruction their leaders had exhorted them to perform.

The council voted unanimously on the measure after hearing testimony from local church officials and would-be marauders whose intentions were thwarted by the hulking, powerful presence of the golem. The Sudanese delegate, in particular, argued for stronger language in the resolution that originally proposed by Saudi Arabia, which had merely "denounced" Prague's Jews.

"After dutifully and enthusiastically acting according to the admonitions of clergy and local gentry, the citizens of Bohemia have been repeatedly frustrated in their efforts to intimidate, oppress, and otherwise abuse the Jews of Prague and its environs," read the resolution. "The inability of the devoted Bohemian non-Jews to inflict the sought-after damage on the Jewish community directly results from the presence of a so-called golem, created by the leader of the Jews of Prague to keep those non-Jews from carrying out their leaders' policies. This council finds such short-circuiting of the will of the masses deplorable, and condemns them."

The statement further called on the Jewish community to cease its use of the golem at once. "Measures to prevent the masses from massacring Jews are the exclusive province of local sovereign authorities, not some rabbi," read a later section of the resolution, referring to Rabbi Judah Loewe, who is alleged to have created the creature using Jewish mysticism. "The golem must be withdrawn and destroyed at once, on penalty of referral of this case to the Security Council for consideration of sanctions and other punitive actions."

Representatives of the local clergy expressed satisfaction. "That'll show those Jews," boasted Thaddeus, the Bishop of Prague. "I shouldn't have to frame anyone for the murder of a Christian child and blame it on Jewish ritual murder just to generate enough hostility to incite a massacre - it should be much easier, but the Jews, especially that rabbi, have been making my life difficult from day one. This out to show them their place."

A member of Prague's Jewish council voiced bewilderment at the decision, noting that no mention of a golem of Prague is found in any literature until nearly five hundred years after it was supposed to exist.

We have lots of ideas, but we need more resources to be even more effective. Please donate today to help get the message out and to help defend Israel.

EoZTV Podcast

Podcast URL

Subscribe in podnovaSubscribe with FeedlyAdd to netvibes
addtomyyahoo4Subscribe with SubToMe

search eoz



follow me

Follow by Email


Share on Whatsapp


For $18 donation

Sample Text

EoZ's Most Popular Posts Ever


Elder of Ziyon - حـكـيـم صـهـيـون

This blog may be a labor of love for me, but it takes a lot of effort, time and money. For over 12 years and over 25,000 articles I have been providing accurate, original news that would have remained unnoticed. I've written hundreds of scoops and sometimes my reporting ends up making a real difference. I appreciate any donations you can give to keep this blog going.


Donate to fight for Israel!

Monthly subscription:
Payment options

One time donation:

subscribe via email

Follow EoZ on Twitter!



The Jerusalem Report:"A seemingly indefatigable one-man operation, armed only with a computer, chutzpa and stamina."

Algemeiner: "Fiercely intelligent and erudite"

Omri: "Elder is one of the best established and most respected members of the jblogosphere..."
Atheist Jew:"Elder of Ziyon probably had the greatest impression on me..."
Soccer Dad: "He undertakes the important task of making sure that his readers learn from history."
AbbaGav: "A truly exceptional blog..."
Judeopundit: "[A] venerable blog-pioneer and beloved patriarchal figure...his blog is indispensable."
Oleh Musings: "The most comprehensive Zionist blog I have seen."
Carl in Jerusalem: "...probably the most under-recognized blog in the JBlogsphere as far as I am concerned."
Aussie Dave: "King of the auto-translation."
The Israel Situation:The Elder manages to write so many great, investigative posts that I am often looking to him for important news on the PalArab (his term for Palestinian Arab) side of things."
Tikun Olam: "Either you are carelessly ignorant or a willful liar and distorter of the truth. Either way, it makes you one mean SOB."
Mondoweiss commenter: "For virulent pro-Zionism (and plain straightforward lies of course) there is nothing much to beat it."
Didi Remez: "Leading wingnut"

Interesting Blogs


Abbas liar Academic fraud administrivia al-Qaeda algeria American Jews Amnesty analysis anti-semitism apartheid arab refugees Arafat archaeology art ASHREI B'tselem bahrain bbc BDS BDSFail Bedouin Beitunia beoz book review breaking the silence Cardozo Chanukah Christians conspiracy theories Cyprus Daled Amos Daphne Anson Davis report DCI-P Divest This double standards Egypt Elder gets results ElderToons Electronic Intifada eoz-symposium EoZNews eoztv Erekat EU Euro-Mid Observer Fake Civilians 2014 Fatah featured Features fisking flotilla Forest Rain Forward free gaza freedom of press palestinian style future martyr Gary Spedding gaza Gaza Platform George Galloway George Soros gideon levy gilad shalit gisha Goldstone Report Good news Grapel Guardian gunness Haaretz hamas Hamas war crimes hasbara Hasby 2014 Hasby 2016 Hebron helen thomas hezbollah history Hizballah Holocaust denial honor killing HRW Human Rights Humanitarian crisis humor Hypocrisy ICRC Ilan Pappe impossible peace incitement Indonesia international law intransigence iran Iraq Islamic Judeophobia Islamism Israel Loves America Israeli culture Israeli high-tech J Street jabalya jeremy bowen Jerusalem jewish fiction Jewish Voice for Peace jihad jimmy carter John Kerry jokes jonathan cook Jordan Juan Cole Judaism Judea-Samaria Judean Rose Kairos Karl Vick ken roth khalid amayreh Khaybar Lebanon leftists Linkdump lumish mahmoud zahar Malaysia max blumenthal McGraw-Hill media bias Methodist Miftah Mohammed Assaf Mondoweiss moonbats Morocco music Muslim Brotherhood Nakba Natural gas Nazi News nftp NGO NIF norpac NYT Occupation offbeat Omar Barghouti Opinion oxfam PA corruption PalArab lies Palestine Papers pallywood pchr PCUSA Peter Beinart Petra MB poll Poster Preoccupied Prisoners propaganda Proud to be Zionist purimshpiel Qaradawi Qassam calendar Rafah Ray Hanania real liberals reference Richard Falk rogel alpher roger cohen roger waters Saudi Arabia saudi vice self-death self-death palestinians sex crimes SFSU shechita sheikh tamimi Shujaiyeh Simona Sharoni SodaStream South Africa Speech stamps Syria Tarabin Temple Mount Terrorism This is Zionism Thomas Friedman Tunisia Turkey UCI UK UN UNDP unesco unhrc UNICEF United Arab Emirates Unity unrwa UNRWA hate unrwa reports UNRWA-USA Varda Vic Rosenthal Washington wikileaks work accident X-washing Yemen YMikarov zahran Ziesel zionist attack zoo Zvi

Blog Archive