Elder Of Ziyon - Israel News

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Really weird Ramattan graphic

Judeopundit notes a strange image at the Ramattan English website.

At first it looks like the image was "pwned" by an anti-Hezbollah site who changed the image to make fun of the terrorists, but this image is hosted by Ramattan.

The font is a Walt Disney signature font; and it looks like it is trying to translate into some sort of English the Hezbollah logo, as can be seen in the corresponding Arabic story:

Of course, Hezbollah does mean "Party of God" but the champagne bottle makes no sense, especially for an Islamist party. And they never translate Allah as God.

I'm stumped.

Happy Eid al-Hob

I believe that is how "feast of love" would be translated into Arabic, as anti-Valentine's Day fever spreads.

AFP adds more information about the campaigns in the Gulf against the color red:

"We have not been selling red roses for a week and we will not bring in any until Valentine's Day is over," said Alan, a Filipino working at a flower shop in the Saudi capital, Riyadh.
He said a member of the religious police, known as Muttawa, visited the shop a week ago and ordered the florists not to display any red roses in the runup to February 14.
At a gift shop in the city, a salesman said the Muttawa had told him to remove from the shelves any red-colour gifts symbolising the feast of love.
"We also removed red gift boxes so as not to expose ourselves to punishment, which could be to close the shop and arrest staff," said Mohammad Hassanein al-Hawari.
The Muttawa, whose formal name is the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, does not stop at just openly inspecting shops. "Agents" in camouflage clothes check to ensure their orders are heeded, he told AFP.

In neighbouring Kuwait, where liberals and Islamists invariably clash over Valentine's Day, Islamists have raised the tone this year.
The head of the Islamic Sharia College at Kuwait University, Mohammad al-Tabtabai, issued a fatwa stipulating that the feast is banned under Islam, and two Islamist MPs demanded that the government ban Valentine's Day celebrations, which they said promote immorality.
But main supermarkets and flower shops in the Gulf emirate are filled with Valentine's Day paraphernalia, while hotels publish adverts tempting couples to a dinner and a one-night stay at discounted rates.
In Bahrain, Islamist protests appear to have been drowned by the increasing popularity of Valentine's Day.
"Last year, we imported 20,000 red roses for Valentine's Day. This year, we increased the quantity to 25,000" due to rising demand, said Varghese Modiyil, manager of one of Manama's flower shops.
"I usually give my wife a bouquet (of red roses) on Valentine's Day ... It's not a celebration in the full sense of the word -- just a gesture to renew our love," confided Nawaf al-Ghanem, a 31-year-old Bahraini bank employee.
Red lingerie and heart-shaped jewellery, cushions and teddy bears, offer a wide choice at one shopping mall in Dubai, the most Western-oriented of the seven emirates making up the United Arab Emirates and where citizens make up only around 20 percent of the population.
Gift shops and jewellers in Qatar were also decked in red, even though the gas-rich Gulf state is not immune to the slanging matches over the occasion.
"It is unfortunate that some shopowners advertise these (Valentine's Day) items and use them to decorate their shops in pursuit of material gain, flouting our norms and violating our religion," a disgruntled Qatari wrote in a letter to the daily Al-Raya.

UPDATE: Palestine Press Agency (Arabic) has no problem with Valentine's Day, and offers tips for romantic meals that increase sexual potency. The autotranslation is hilarious:

Drink "pomegranate juice"

It is a natural sexual activated since it cleans the blood of harmful deposits exceeded the efficiency of the nerves in the transfer of messages and respond to stimuli in addition to appoint a person to remain steadfast and get rid of psychological anxiety and fears that bedevil the process of citizenship.

Comers "shrimp cocktail"

Zinc found in shrimp increase the number of sperm, and enjoyable to the state of ecstasy stronger as a study on fertility and infertility, in addition to containing amino acid, which reduces tension, as well as the hormone serotonin, which stimulates the feeling of happiness, according to the newspaper "Qabas."

Main dish "filleted meat"

Higher protein found in meat increases the production of body Hormone Alnorenjerin dopamine, which increased vigilance and vitality.

Side dish "sweet potato roasted"
They are rich in potassium, which reduces tension and turmoil, but warned that it put a lot of salt because the sodium potassium discouraging effect, and you can take them some kind acid, which is another source of protein catalyst for sexual desire.

Authority "authority spinach"

In addition to the many health benefits, it contains a lot of iron and vitamins, spinach is a rich source of magnesium, which helps to extend vessels and blood flow necessary for the erection, according to a Japanese study.

" Sweet "chocolate with fresh blackberries tourist"

British scientists discovered the serotonin (or what is known Bhrmon happiness) found in chocolate is agitating sexually for women, in addition to the caffeine content of chocolate, which makes you alert.

In this way, make sure that you, my dear husband will spend the night of the "Valentine's Day" will never forget, sans will always behind these things that make you distinctive characteristic on the night will forget.

Hamas' statements crack me up

In reaction to the assassination of Hezbollah uber-terrorist Imad Mughniyya:

For its part, Hamas considered the assassination to be a great loss of a major resistance leader.

"The assassination indicates the ugliness of terrorism of the Israeli entity which depends on assassinations, killing and physical termination," said Isma'il Radwan, a Hamas spokesperson.

You mean, Israel uses assassinations, killing, and physical termination?

Wow. It may be time for them to scale back to merely assassinations and killing. Doing all three to mass murderers is just cruel.

Adar 7

Two Jews, one old and one young, travel in a train in old Europe.

The young Jew asks the old Jew: -What time is it?

The old Jew does not answer.

After asking him 25 times, the young Jew seem to give up and asks the old Jew: - Tell me, why don't you want to tell me what time it is?

The old Jew answers: - Because then you are going to ask me where I am going to and I will have to answer that I am going to Zlabodka to visit my beautiful daughter Lea and you will certainly ask if she is single and I will have to say that she is single and you will certainly ask to meet her for a Shiduch and the last thing I want in my life is my beautiful Lea to marry someone who does not have money even to buy himself a watch!

The "Zionist Octopus"

We've graduated from being sons of apes and pigs!

"We urge the Muslim and Arab nations to act decisively against the Zionist octopus that threatens the security of Arab and Muslim countries," Hamas official Sami Abu Zuhri said.

And we are a cute octopus, if I may say so myself.

Arab nations ignore UNRWA appeal for Gaza

Arab leaders that talk incessantly about their "brothers in Palestine" consistently refuse to do anything serious to actually help their supposed kin. From IRIN, the UN news agency:

A UN special appeal for the Gaza Strip has managed to bring in only a small percentage of the US$9.8 million needed for urgent food aid and cash assistance for the enclave's most vulnerable refugees.

On 6 February, UNRWA, the UN agency for Palestinian refugees, began to distribute food aid in Gaza funded by a $100,000 donation from the United Arab Emirates (UAE) Red Crescent Society. The money came in response to the special appeal issued by UNWRA in late January.

The UAE donation will pay for food packages sufficient for three months for 2,700 refugees, deemed "special hardship cases" in four camps in Gaza. UNRWA - the largest distributor of aid in Gaza - said it needed over $5 million for food aid as part of this appeal.

Saudi Arabia's Prince Alwalid bin Talal bin Abdul Aziz al-Saud and the Kingdom Foundation donated another $100,000, which UNRWA said would buy fuel supplies. In the appeal UNRWA said it needed nearly $1 million for fuel costs.

However, this is all the special appeal, which initially targeted Arab donors, has managed to collect, with one UNRWA official noting it was "disappointing".

That means that Arab countries donated 2% of what the UNRWA says it needed.

One possible reason that no one wants to give money to Gazans:

Meanwhile, a Jordanian aid convoy of some 16 trucks with humanitarian goods such as food and medicines was allowed by Israel to enter Gaza on 7 February, with the intention of delivering the items to the Palestine Red Crescent Society (PRCS). However, police from the Islamic Hamas movement, which has governed Gaza since a takeover last June, impounded the convoy.

A spokesman for the police said Hamas was the authority in the enclave and would determine how the aid would be distributed.

Hamas told a Jordanian newspaper that the seized convoy would be given to the UNRWA for distribution - and, of course, it lied:

The U.N. agency for Palestinian refugees (UNRWA) denied that Hamas handed over Jordanian aid sent to the agency in the Gaza Strip. Hamas spokesman Sami Abu Zuhri had told al-Arab al-Yawm that Hamas will hand over the supplies that Jordan sent to UNRWA, instead of the Palestinian Red Crescent, to disperse to the needy.

Once again we see that the West cares far more about the well-being of Gaza and Palestinian Arabs than the Arab world does. Using ordinary PalArabs as political pawns is so ingrained in the Arab world that I'm not sure if they even realize it anymore. Their "support" for their Palestinian brethren has always been far more focused on helping them kill Israeli Jews than with getting them jobs or prospects for the future.

Hamas' new glossy magazine

From IHT:

The cover boy gracing Gaza's new glossy magazine wears military khakis and a bullet belt and carries one of the territory's hottest accessories — an assault rifle.

His face is covered with a black mask, as are many of the faces in "Qassamis," the new magazine published by Hamas to show off its Islamic fighters. The 80-page magazine also comes with sleek advertisements and a women's section.

The magazine was delivered to The Associated Press and other news organizations by a Hamas employee on Monday. It was distributed to libraries sympathetic to Hamas, apparently targeting a highbrow readership.

The magazine wants to show "the development of our fighting capabilities and show progress on the ground," he said. Hamas officials would not say how many they printed or whether there would be future editions.

Hamas also won't say how much the magazine cost to publish. It looks expensive, a stark contrast to the environment that produced it — the crumbling, impoverished Gaza Strip.

Inside, the magazine describes Hamas' military wing as an "army."

"It has more than 10,000 fighters with weapons who are a real army under military formations," the magazine claims.

The section aimed at women is illustrated with lilies and hand grenades. One photograph shows women training to use guns while wearing floor-length robes in military khaki.

A chart details Hamas attacks, including 2,252 rockets it said it has fired at Israel. The rockets have killed 12 Israelis since 2001 and have drawn military raids and crippling sanctions that have pushed the territory further into poverty.

Hamas has used the closure to whip up anger in the Arab world, painting a picture of poverty and hunger in Gaza. But that hasn't prevented the Islamists from building up a costly media machine.

Last year it launched a daily newspaper, which frequently publishes exclusive interviews with Hamas leaders. The group also runs several internet Web sites, a radio station and a satellite television station that broadcasts news and children's shows.

Hamas is less tolerant of independent media. It has harassed reporters and media outlets it sees as hostile, and a Hamas-dominated court last week ordered the closure of al-Ayyam, a paper associated with its moderate Fatah rivals, because it published a caricature of a senior Hamas official.

The PDF of the magazine is available on the Hamas website; I copied it here. The pictures in this posting come from the magazine.

It appears that they keep their masks on even when faxing!

This must have been the sports section, where Hamas claimed the top two prizes in the Terror Olympics.

I wonder what the poor Gazans think when they see this slick, expensive publication.

Bakeries closing - Arabs running out of bread!

A shocking story of food shortages - in oil-rich Saudi Arabia:

Many Jeddah bakeries closed their doors to customers because of ever increasing high flour prices.
Bakery owners waiting for flour from flour distributors said they were like beggars waiting outside a mosque.
"I have closed one of my bakeries that has been in operation for 40 years, after tomorrow I will close the others," said Abu Ahmad who owns several bakeries in Jeddah.
Ahmad said that outside the Grain Silos and Flour Mills Organization (GSFMO) the atmosphere is more closely related to a mafia rather than a government flour distributor.

"There are a lot of people who sell the flour at unreasonable prices - they bought it from the government for SR22 then they sold it on the black market for more than SR80," Ahmad said.

Ahmad said that when he reported the high prices to the GSFMO about the illegal practices of the grain dealers, they responded by saying that was none of their business.

Flour sellers like Jadal Haq Hosein said he cannot provide customers with flour in sufficient quantities because he himself does not get enough from the distributors.

"Flour shops do not sell more than five kilograms per customer for two reasons: the first being we want to satisfy all our customers and secondly the distributors of flour don't supply shops with enough quantity," Hosein said.

Some customers spend up to three hours looking for bread. Many have asked the government for help. Adnan Kutubkhana, a Saudi customer said that bakeries cannot meet the demand of their customers in the conditions as they are.

"At these rates, after three days, the supermarkets and bakeries will be out of bread," Kutubkhana said.

"I looked for bread in more than 10 supermarkets, when I found it the bread vendor refused to give me more than two riyals' worth."
Many bakeries in Makkah, nearby villages and Taif have also closed due to the shortage of flour.

When Gaza bakeries close because of an artificial flour shortage, it makes world headlines. But the equally starving Saudis just can't catch a break.

Interfaith dialogue, Islamic-style (revisited)

I've had a few posts on how, when Muslims call for "dialogue" with other religions, they are really calling for a new means to proselytize.

I just came across this Islam Q&A site where the question is raised: can a Muslim participate in interfaith dialogue if there is no way that they can use it as a platform for gaining converts?

Question: Here in America we are trying as best we can to call people to Allaah according to the way of the Pious Predecessors (al-salaf al-saalih). Recently there has emerged a very serious matter, which is the spread of committees to bring together the three heavenly religions – Islam, Christianity and Judaism – whereby each group sends a representative to try to bridge the gaps between these three religions and bring them closer together. They meet in churches and synagogues, and even pray together, as happened following the massacre in al-Khaleel (“Hebron”) in Palestine. These meetings are attended by a not insignificant number of followers from these three religions.

Our question is: the Muslims are represented by scholars – or by people who are counted as being scholars – and there has arisen among us an argument as to the ruling on attending meetings such as these, where Muslim scholars shake hands with and embrace priests and monks. There is no opportunity for da’wah in these meetings; they are held in the name of bringing these three religion closer together. Is it permissible for a Muslim who believes in Allaah and the Last Day to attend such meetings, to enter churches and synagogues and to greet and embrace a priest or monk? For your information, this phenomenon has spread across America, and we hope that you can send us the solution, because we have agreed to accept your ruling between us to suppress this fitnah that exists at the national level. Wa’l-salaamu ‘alaykum wa rahmat-Allaahi wa barakaatuhu.

After a very long answer, disparaging all religions besides Islam as being worthless and false, the Imam finally gets to the point:

On the basis of the above, it is clear that the basic foundation of the laws and religions that Allaah has prescribed for His slaves is one and there is no need to bring them close to one another. It is obvious that the Jews and Christians have distorted and twisted that which was revealed to them from their Lord, to the point that their religions have become falsehood, kufr and misguidance.

....How can any rational person who knows about their persistence in falsehood and their continuing to knowingly follow misguidance out of jealousy and their pursuit of their own desires, hope for a closer relationship between them and the truly believing Muslims?

... The person who thinks of bringing Islam, Judaism and Christianity together, or bringing them closer to one another, is like one who strives to bring together the opposites of truth and falsehood, kufr (disbelief) and eemaan (faith). ....

Moreover, the religion of the Jews and Christians has been abrogated by Allaah when He sent the Messenger Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and Allaah obliged all the people of the earth, Jews Christians and others, to follow him.

If they persist in following their religion, which has been abrogated, then they are adhering to falsehood, not to true religion. So it is not permissible for the Muslims to get close to them, because by getting close to them they are approving of their falsehood on the one hand, and misleading the ignorant, on the other. What Muslims should do is expose their falsehood just as Allaah has exposed them in the Qur’aan. And Allaah knows best.

Someone might say: can there not be a truce among them, or a peace treaty, so as to avoid bloodshed and the tragedies of war, and so that people may go about their business and earn a living, and that the world may be developed so that the call to truth and guidance may be given to all people, and so that justice may be established among all people? If someone were to say this, it is fair enough, and any efforts to achieve this would be valuable, for it is a noble aim, because it is possible and it would have a great impact on people. But this applies only when it is not possible to enforce the jizyah system, because Allaah says in Soorat al-Tawbah (interpretation of the meaning):

“Fight against those who (1) believe not in Allaah, (2) nor in the Last Day, (3) nor forbid that which has been forbidden by Allaah and His Messenger (Muhammad), (4) and those who acknowledge not the religion of truth (i.e. Islam) among the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians), until they pay the Jizyah with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued”

[al-Tawbah 9:29]

At the same time, we must also make sure that we are striving to support the truth. This should not be an attempt on the part of the Muslims to appease the mushrikeen or to give up any of the rulings of Allaah, or anything that would entail their compromising their own dignity. The Muslims must retain their pride and their adherence to the Book of their Lord and the Sunnah of their Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him); they must continue to hate their enemies of Allaah and not befriend them, following the guidance of the Qur’aan and of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).

So the next time CAIR or some similar organization claims to be interested in "dialogue," you know exactly what they mean.

One of the biggest annual challenges that our heroes at the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice have to face each year is the proliferation of the color red in mid-February. As the Saudi Gazette reports:

Islamic scholars around the Kingdom such as Sheikh Khaled Al-Dossari preach that celebrating Valentine's Day and other non-Islamic celebrations is a sin. "As Muslims we shouldn't celebrate a non-Muslim celebration especially this one that encourages immoral relations between unmarried men and women," Dossari, a scholar in Islamic Studies and the Shariah, said.

In the face of such a clear and obvious violation of sharia law, it is up to our heroes at the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice to make sure that young Saudis do not stray - and that means targeting the sources of the scourge:

Agents of the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice visited flower and gift shops in the capital Saturday night to instruct them to remove all red items - from red roses and wrapping paper to boxes and teddy bears - from their shelves, shop workers said.
"They visited us last night," said a couple of florists Sunday morning.
"They gave us warnings and this morning we packed up all the red items and displays."
Sunday was the last day people could buy red roses in Riyadh, until Valentine's Day on Feb. 14 passes.

Every year, Commission agents visit flower shops a couple of days before Feb. 14 to issue warnings. On the eve of Valentine's Day, they start their raids and confiscate any red items that are symbols of love, florists here said.

But the sinners are clever, willing to flout the obvious law of Allah to further their capitalist/Zionist goals:

As a result of the ban, there's a black market in red roses.
"A single rose costs around SR5-7 but today the same rose costs SR10 a piece and the price will go up to SR20-30 on Valentine's Day," said a florist who caters to customers on Valentine's Day from his apartment.

Loyal customers place orders with the florist days and sometimes weeks before Feb. 14. "Sometimes we deliver the bouquets in the middle of the night or early morning, to avoid suspicion," said the florist.

Many young hearts are planning to celebrate in their own way, whether in secret, abroad or on the Web.

"I send e-cards to all my special friends online," said Famita Hakeem, a young Saudi university student.

"We are planning on going to Dubai Wednesday night to celebrate Valentine's Day as a couple," said Hannan Radi, a Saudi wife and teacher.

Ms. Radi should have been more circumspect in her comments, as the Muttawa will be waiting upon her return to their territory.

Egyptians find TNT in a Rafah cemetery

M&C reports:

Egyptian security forces found a cache of explosives near the border with the Gaza Strip in the Sinai peninsula, security sources said Tuesday.
The cache, which contained 250 kilos of TNT, was found in a secret depot in Masura in Rafah, three kilometres from Egypt's border with the Gaza Strip.

Palestine Press Agency adds that these explosives were found in a cemetery:

The source said that "explosives were seized inside the cemetery, packed inside seven plastic sacks," and added that security forces received information from confidential sources is the fact that some smugglers conceal explosives inside abandoned graves.

"Abandoned graves" must mean wither their occupants found a better place to stay, or these holy explosives smugglers are discarding bodies to hide their product.

Nahoul the dead bee/Assud the killer rabbit update

MEMRI has both the death of Nahoul the bee and the rise of his replacement, the vengeful killer rabbit Assud, shown on Hamas TV.

Their clip can be seen here, I converted it to YouTube so other browsers besides IE could view it:

Meanwhile, here is the transcript:

Nahoul: I can't stand it, Mom, I can't...
Mother: What can I do? You've been sick for a whole month. We went to Al-Arish, but we couldn't get you to Egypt to have an operation.

[...]

Nahoul: All the children of Palestine are dying without treatment. I can't die, I don't want to die... Father...

Attempts to perform CPR on Nahoul fail

Father: Nahoul! Nahoul!

[...]

Child host Saraa Barhoum: Dear children, let me welcome on your behalf our new friend, Assud. Allah be praised, our friend Assud has returned safe and sound to his land, to Palestine, after he emigrated to a different Arab country – a country which is not this noble homeland, dear children.

[...]

Assud: Mom, I want to ask you something.

Mother: Go ahead.

Assud: Where is Nahoul? I haven't seen him for such a long time.

Mother: He went for a walk, and he'll soon be back, Allah willing.

Assud: Where did he go? Who goes out at night?

Mother: What do you want me to do... He'll be back soon, Allah willing.

Assud: Father, where is Nahoul?

Father [whispering to the mother]: How long can we keep what happened to Nahoul from him?

Father [to Farfour]: You are a believer, and our God...

Assud: What happened to Nahoul, father?

Father: Allah be praised, you are a believing Muslim, and you know that we place our trust in Allah... Your brother Nahoul got sick...

Assud: What hospital is he in, father?

Father: He's not in any hospital. He died a martyr's death, Allah have mercy upon him.

Assud: No, father!

Assud weeps

[...]

Assud: Just like Nahoul took Farfour's place when he was martyred, I will replace Nahoul, Allah willing. I will bring smiles and joy back to the children of Palestine, and the children of the whole world - the Arab and Islamic world, Allah willing.

[...]

Assud: I come from the diaspora, carrying the Key of Return. This is the Key of Return. Do you see it? Allah willing, we will use this key to liberate our Al-Aqsa Mosque. Here is a picture of the noble Al-Aqsa Mosque. Here it is, can you see it? Allah willing, we are the soldiers of the Pioneers of Tomorrow.

Saraa Barhoum: Yes, Assud, we will continue in the path of Nahoul and Farfour, Allah willing. We will not let them down, Assud.

Assud: We are all martyrdom-seekers, are we not, Saraa?

Saraa Barhoum: Of course we are. We are all ready to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of our homeland. We will sacrifice our souls and everything we own for the homeland.

Assud: Saraa, I'd like to ask you something.

Saraa Barhoum: What is it?

Assud: How many soldiers of the Pioneers of Tomorrow are there?

Saraa Barhoum: There are many, many soldiers of the Pioneers of Tomorrow.

Assud: Allah be praised.

Saraa Barhoum: By Allah's grace, they will help us liberate our homeland Palestine.

Assud: Saraa, you and I will be the first, right?

Saraa Barhoum: Yes, by Allah's grace, Assud.

Assud: And will we take Al-Aqsa?

Saraa Barhoum: Of course, Assud. We will liberate Al-Aqsa from the filth of those Zionists.

[...]

Saraa Barhoum [to girl in the audience]: Is there anything you want to share with us?

Girl: Arnoub ["Rabbit"]?

Saraa Barhoum His name is Assud ["Lion"].

Girl: How come you are called Assud, even though you look like a rabbit?

Assud: Because a rabbit is not good. He's a coward. But I, Assud, will get rid of the Jews, Allah willing, and I will eat them up, Allah willing, right?

Saraa Barhoum: Allah willing.

UPDATE: Israel Matzav points to Palestine Media Watch's Hebrew translation of an episode aired after Nahoul's death, where Saraa tells her audience not to be sad for Nahoul:

"We say today to you, Nahoul:
Congratulations, this is your wedding day!"

Vancouver Public Library to host anti-semite

From the Vancouver Sun:

Terry Glavin, Special to the Sun

British novelist Martin Amis recently confessed to being at a loss for words whenever he encounters the hysterical, "endocrinal state" that seems to befall certain people when the subject of Israel comes up in conversation.

"I just don't understand it," Amis said. "I know we're supposed to be grown up about it and not fling around accusations of anti-Semitism, but I don't see any other explanation."

And this got me to thinking. If it's not anti-Semitism, then what's the proper word for it?

What is the right word for a book like Greg Felton's The Host and the Parasite: How Israel's Fifth Column Consumed America?

What is the right word for Felton's thesis, which is that a Zionist "junta" was at work on Sept. 11, 2001, and that al-Qaida is a mere concoction in a secret plan to subvert the American Constitution, demonize Muslims and commit mass murder?

What do you call it when the Vancouver Public Library decides to present Felton, an apologist for the book-banning, journalist-jailing Iranian theocracy, as the featured author on the evening of Feb. 25, and as the library's contribution to national Freedom to Read Week?

What are we allowed to call Felton, who traces his Zionist plot back to the 1940s, when these same Zionists made "common cause" with the Nazis to rid Europe of its Jews, and participated in the herding of Jews into Hitler's gas chambers?

What Felton calls himself is an award-winning investigative reporter and Middle East specialist. His last legitimate journalism job appears to have been with a Vancouver weekly newspaper in the late 1990s, when his brief career as a columnist came to a famously embarrassing end. The column that got Felton into such trouble was also about Zionists.

In that column, Felton traced Zionist swindles and trickery back through time and across Europe to a massive coverup of events that occurred in the Caucasus Mountains about 1,000 years ago.

Europe's Jews aren't Jews at all, Felton wrote. Almost all of them are "Khazars," a long-extinct Turkic tribe from somewhere north of the Caspian Sea.

Felton has been peddling this kind of thing ever since his departure from the weekly Vancouver Courier. He now writes for fringe Arab webzines and an online journal out of Tehran affiliated with the Iranian theocracy's Islamic Propagation Organization.

Felton's byline also routinely shows up on neo-Nazi websites, conspiracy-theory bulletin boards, and sometimes even in pamphlets of the Marxist-Leninist sort. And now, Vancouverites can hear Greg Felton in person.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, Janice Douglas, VPL's director of youth services and community relations told me.

Felton approached the library looking for a gig. There was a "banned book" cachet about his tome, and the library hadn't hosted a Freedom To Read event in years. And Felton's book was "a book that people might not feel free to read."

That last bit was odd, I thought. From Dandelion Books, Felton's obscure little Arizona publisher, you can readily acquire titles about the lost continent of Atlantis, space aliens, New Age mysticism, mind control, 9-11 conspiracies, and even a novel by Yvonne Ridley, the disgraced, Taliban-admiring British journalist now working for an Iranian television network.

The Khazar legend was a staple of 1930s-era European racism. Long after it had been wholly discredited by geneticists, linguists, archeologists and historians, the lie was revived by late 20th-century neo-Nazis.

Neo-Nazis find it useful as a twisted justification for their Jew-hatred. For Israel's more conspiracy-prone enemies, the Khazar legend completely delegitimizes the notion of Israel as a Jewish homeland. That's how Felton employs it, and he gets extra mileage out of it as further evidence of the world's real, hushed-up history, which the Jews don't want you to know.

No, wait. Wrong word. Felton doesn't use the word "Jews" quite that way. It's the Zionists who are behind the curtain with their hands on the levers. Sometimes he uses two words to describe them. Zionist Jews. Jewish lobby. Zionist parasite.

When he calls them Khazars, he can attribute to them "the declared purpose of dispossessing and terrorizing" the Palestinian people, and by that one word -- Khazars -- the Palestinians become the only real Semites in the Holy Land, and Israel itself becomes anti-Semitic.

See how it works?

In Felton's words, Hamas is not an Islamist death cult animated by that classic anti-Semitic forgery, the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. It's the equivalent of the French resistance during the Second World War, the "passionate defender of Palestinians."

There are no suicide bombings in Felton's lexicon. There are only "sacrifice bombings." Israel itself is a creation of the Nazis. It's the "Zionist Reich."

And that's the sort of ugliness that rushes in the moment the word "Israel" is mentioned in certain fashionable company these days. Martin Amis settled on the words "secularized anti-Semitism" to describe it.

If those aren't the right words, then words fail me.

Of course, Felton wins either way. Felton, who resembles the character Dwight Shrute from The Office, either he gets to speak and gets free publicity for his bigotry, or pressure builds on the Vancouver Public Library to drop the program and Felton can go back to his neo-Nazi and Iranian buddies and claim "censorship," gaining more publicity.

By the way, even on Felton's website he doesn't bother to mention the specific "awards" he supposedly has received. One can only imagine: "Best Disciple of Mein Führer 1997," perhaps.

VPL should be ashamed in its role in promoting pure anti-semitism and its lack of forethought in seeking scum like Felton to speak.

Adar 6

Not specifically a Jewish joke, but at least I hadn't heard it before...

Bill Gates came up to heaven and God wasn't sure what to do with him. On one hand, he gave a lot of charity, but on the other hand, he created Microsoft Windows which is a terrible operating system.

So God decided to give Bill a choice, let him decide whether he wanted to go to heaven or hell.

"Well, what are heaven and hell like?" asks Gates.

God takes Bill Gates to heaven where he sees a bunch of rabbis pouring over Talmudic texts. Then, he takes him to hell where he sees a beautiful beach with palm trees.

Without giving it much thought, Gates concludes, "I'll take hell."

A couple days later, God goes down to see how Gates is doing, and he's furious.

"I'm burning to a crisp down here! This isn't what I saw before!"

To which God replies, "I'm sorry, you must have seen a screen saver!"

Genetics and Jewish identity

I'm not keenly interested in this topic - my definition of a Jew is more halachic than genetic, and my definition of a "people" is more self-identifying than familial - but since there have been some vigorous discussions on this topic in the message boards, here is one of the more thorough treatments of the issue I've ever seen, from The Jerusalem Post.