Who Knew? Putin’s a Zionist! (Judean Rose)

In a bombshell interview with Megyn Kelly, Putin, set to handily win reelection as Russia’s president on March 18, declared that no Russians meddled in the American presidential election. And even if Russians did meddle in the American presidential election, those Russians don’t represent the state. 

"So what if they're Russians?" said Putin. “There are 146 million Russians. So what? I don't care. I couldn't care less. They do not represent the interests of the Russian state."

And here’s where it gets really interesting, because this is where Putin said the “J” word. "Maybe they're not even Russians," he said. "Maybe they're Ukrainians, Tatars, Jews, just with Russian citizenship. Even that needs to be checked. Maybe they have dual citizenship. Or maybe a green card. Maybe it was the Americans who paid them for this work. How do you know? I don't know."

Leaders of Jewish organizations went nuts over this statement with both the AJC and the ADL referencing the Protocols of the Elders of Zion.

President Putin suggesting that Russian Federation minorities, be they Ukrainian, Tatar, or Jewish, were behind U.S. election meddling is eerily reminiscent of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. He should clarify his comments at the earliest opportunity. https://t.co/NsG1qFSlWq

— AJC (@AJCGlobal) March 10, 2018

Our CEO & National Director @JGreenblattADL’s full statement on comments made by the Russian president that gives new life to classic anti-Semitic stereotypes: https://t.co/YTvmnCLmWR pic.twitter.com/00Egv5XfmZ

— ADL (@ADL_National) March 11, 2018

Zionist Union MK Ksenia Svetlova drew a connection to recent remarks by Poland’s president accusing Jews of perpetrating the Polish Holocaust.

We r quite familiar with the oldies “Maybe Jews run the world, maybe Jews use blood for their rituals, maybe Jews had slaughtered Jews in Poland” . Now comes the latest hit “maybe Jews meddled in US elections”. Our government has to condemn strongly this statement #putin #jews https://t.co/pz2JFc4hYi

— Ksenia Svetlova (@KseniaSvetlova) March 10, 2018

The National Coalition Supporting Eurasion Jewry (NCSEJ) said Putin’s remarks were troubling, and requested a clarification. “Russia’s history of anti-Semitism goes back centuries,” said the NCSEJ statement. “It is unfortunate that President Putin, who has gone out of his way to support the Russian Jewish community, resorted in this interview to promoting old and offensive stereotypes.”

But it isn’t the stereotyping that bothered me about Putin’s statement. It was the fact that, to him, Russian Jews aren’t Russians—they’re just Jews with Russian citizenship. The fact that Jews with Russian citizenship don’t, to him, count as actual Russians, suggests that he thinks that either A) Jews aren’t like other humans and therefore, just having Russian citizenship can’t make them Russians, or B) Jews aren’t human—they’re some kind of alien breed, neither animal nor human, so of course, if Jews aren’t human, they can’t be Russian.

There is, of course, another possibility: perhaps Putin believes that Jews, as the Chosen People, have only one nationality as inheritors of the Promised Land, in other words, they can be nationals only of Israel. In which case, we’re all totally off-base slamming him like this for his supposed antisemitism. Tsk. Turns out, Putin’s a Zionist, all along! He believes that Israel belongs to the Jews, that all Jews  originate from and belong in Israel, and that Jews can have no true nationality other than Israeli!

Well, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, so I’m going to go with that third possibility. And now that we’ve stipulated that Putin is a Zionist, I know he'll be over the moon to know that those of us Jews who are finally where we’re supposed to be, i.e. Israel, and NOT RUSSIA, are gleefully breeding our merry little hearts out.

Here’s my latest contribution to the gene pool: the first son of my son, my 12th grandchild.

Varda with Baby Epstein (Not Russian)

My message to Putin: Despite my Russian Jewish ancestry, you’ll be glad to hear that my new grandson is most definitely NOT RUSSIAN.

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