Wednesday, March 29, 2017

From Ian:

PMW calls on US gov. to deny entry to terror supporter Jibril Rajoub this week
Palestinian Media Watch is joined by families of American terror victims in calling on the United States Secretary of State to prevent Fatah Central Committee Secretary Jibril Rajoub from entering US soil. Should he enter the country, we are calling on the US to have Rajoub arrested and investigated for incitement to murder of American citizens. Rajoub is scheduled to speak in New York next Wednesday, April 5th at an event organized by the Israel Policy Forum.
In the letter to Secretary of State Rex W. Tillerson, PMW notes that Jibril Rajoub publicly incited terror and glorified terrorists throughout the 2015-2016 Palestinian terror wave that claimed the lives of 4 American citizens: Hallel Yaffa Ariel, Taylor Force, Richard Lakin, and Ezra Schwartz. Rajoub also called on Hamas to kidnap Israelis in 2014, just a few months before U.S. citizen Naftali Fraenkel and his friends Gilad Shaar and Eyal Yifrach were kidnapped on their way home from school.
Under US law any alien who "endorses or espouses terrorist activity or persuades others to endorse or espouse terrorist activity" is "ineligible for visas or admission" to the U.S. [8 U.S.C. 1182 - INADMISSIBLE ALIENS, 2006 Edition, Supplement 5] PMW has documented Jibril Rajoub's continual vocal support for terrorism in its special report The Jibril Rajoub File.
PMW exposé leads Germany to cancel major sports deal with PA
The German Olympic Sports Federation (DOSB) is cancelling a recently-announced partnership with the Palestinian Football Association (PFA) because of evidence publicized by Palestinian Media Watch. According to the federation's spokeswoman Ulrike Spits, Germany called off the deal because "not all partners are committed to the high values of sport."
Under the 400,000 Euro agreement, Germany had planned to send sports expert Gert Engels to coach the Palestinian football team over a period of two years. The agreement, the first of its kind, was co-signed by German representative Peter Beerwerth and PFA Chairman Jibril Rajoub.
Immediately after the deal was signed, PMW released the bulletin "Germany signs sports agreement with terror-promoting PA official." The Simon Wiesenthal Center followed up with an official complaint to the DOSB drawing documentation from PMW's The Rajoub File. Today, the German daily reported that DOSB has withdrawn from the partnership.
Palestinians: We Have the Right to Poison the Minds of our Children
A statement issued by the Palestinian Ministry of Education in Ramallah warned that it would take "punitive measures" against anyone who tries to change or tamper with the curriculum. "Any attempt to change the Palestinian curriculum will be considered an assault on Palestine and an eradication and dilution of our national identity," the ministry cautioned.
The language used by the PA is strikingly similar to that used by Hamas to threaten an organization that has for decades helped millions of Palestinians to survive. In this regard, the Palestinians are once again biting the hand that has fed them. Ask Kuwait and other Gulf countries that used to give Palestinians billions of dollars before the Palestinians supported Saddam Hussein's invasion of Kuwait.
In his meeting with U.S. President Donald Trump in Washington in mid-April, Abbas is expected to renew his commitment to combating anti-Israel incitement, according to senior PA officials in Ramallah. One wonders how Abbas plans to account for the PA's threats against UNRWA regarding the textbooks.
The PA, like Hamas, plans to continue indoctrinating their children through poisonous textbooks that depict Jews as evil occupiers and land-thieves who build "racist walls" and demolish houses for no reason. They also wish to continue teaching children that the conflict with Israel is not over a two-state solution, but the "liberation of Palestine, from the river to the sea," which means the annihilation of Israel. The goal is for the students to believe that Israel is one big "settlement" that has no place in the Middle East.
Moreover, along with Hamas, Abbas and his PA plan to continue inculcating Palestinian children with the idea that they should look to terrorists who kill Jews as their role models. It might be illuminating if the conversation between Trump and Abbas were to be informed by these uncomfortable facts.

The UN's Palestinian-Women Shakedown Racket
By my count, that's at least 15 UN offices, agencies and/or special programs all involved in assisting Palestinian women. With slight variations, this has been going on for decades. Yet somehow the UN reports, over and over, that the situation is endlessly dire. And while blaming and condemning Israel, the UN demands that yet more money flow to the aid of the Palestinians, via the UN.
This routine does not deserve to be described as "assistance" to women. There may a spattering of aid in all this, but in the main this entire setup is a shakedown. Effectively it is an extortion racket that targets not only Israel (and its turf, and legitimacy as a state) but the U.S. (and its great rolling river of tax dollars).
This UN-abetted racket has become big business for Palestinian bosses, and a trough in which American tax dollars are transformed into a grand muck of resources that nourish the lies, bigotries, jobs and wallets of far too many officials at the United Nations. And for the worst regimes associated with the UN (Iran and its pals come to mind) this is a political bonanza, underwritten by the Great Satan.
Any real remedy needs to start with cutting off the American money that helps bankroll this monstrous sham. And as far an anyone's aim is really to help Palestinian women, it's hard to think of a better place to begin than by doing everything possible to remove from their lives -- as well as ours -- the pervasive and too often pernicious presence of the United Nations.
Melanie Phillips: The Westminster terror attack
Watch me here on the Israel TV show Ro’im Olam (Looking at the World) talking to presenter Ya’akov Ahimeir about the significance of last week’s Islamist terror atrocity in London at the Palace of Westminster. The interview is in English after a few seconds’ introduction.

Sky News - The Bolt Report - Andrew Bolt on Hillel Neuer's U.N. Speech
"Where are your Jews?"
Leading political columnist and commentator Andrew Bolt discusses the U.N. speech by UN Watch executive director Hillel Neuer.
Isi Leibler: Trump seeks Israeli-Palestinian peace
Unless the PA dramatically reverses its core objectives, the U.S. will finally expose Palestinian ‎intransigence and demonstrate that their goal is not statehood but Israel's elimination. ‎
At this point, the genuine friendship and support of the United States will enable Israel to move ‎forward and determine its borders. Israel will also be able to initiate further economic activity ‎and cooperation to improve the Palestinians' standard of living, which may eventually lead to ‎a peaceful compromise based on self-interest.‎
But as Israel emerges from the humiliation of the Obama era, the development of a common ‎front against Iran between Israel and Arab states such as Egypt and Saudi Arabia also obliges ‎Israel to step warily. ‎
In the meantime, we must limit potential confrontations with Trump, enabling him to test the ‎waters for his "grand deal" and discover for himself whether an accommodation with the ‎Palestinians at this stage is possible.‎
Netanyahu faces a difficult challenge in his effort to avoid potential confrontations with ‎Trump. He is under enormous pressure to limit settlement construction while Trump engages ‎in his effort to achieve the impossible with the Palestinians. The radical wings of his coalition ‎could break up his government over this issue. At the same time, he knows that the clear ‎majority of Israelis would endorse his approach, and would probably re-elect him as prime ‎minister. Who else could replicate his ability to steer the negotiations with Trump while ‎maintaining a good working relationship with Russia's President Vladimir Putin? ‎‎
With an Arab NATO and a contained Iran, Trump is changing the Middle East
Donald Trump’s Middle East policy is emerging. Apart from supporting Israel, he wants to eradicate ISIL and other Islamic jihadists, he wants to deter Iran and its dream of hegemony over the entire Middle East, and he wants the Arab countries to bear the burden of their own defence.
His answer: an Arab NATO, funded by its Arab members and aided by the military and intelligence assets of Israel and the United States.
The idea of a military alliance among the Arab nations first came from Egypt’s President Abdel al-Sisi two years ago in February, 2015, when he went on national television to warn about radical jihadis across the Middle East. The Arab League at its summit the following month endorsed the concept, and military heads from 11 Arab countries (Egypt, Saudi Arabia, the UAE, Qatar, Kuwait, Morocco, Tunisia, Algeria, Sudan, Libya and Jordan) then met to work out the details.
But al-Sisi’s plans soon went into a deep freeze, despite a push by Lt. Gen. Mike Flynn, former head of the Defense Intelligence Agency, who argued in June 2015 testimony to two Congressional subcommittees that the U.S. should “fully support, help organize, and assist those regional partners create an ‘Arab NATO-like’ structure and framework. Build an Arab Army that is able to secure their regional responsibilities.” Flynn was especially focused on deterring a Russia-backed Iran, which poses a nuclear threat to the United States as well as to the countries of the Middle East — not just Israel, about which Iran is most vocal, but also the Sunni Arab states and Sunni Turkey, a NATO ally of the U.S.
A different America
New winds are prevailing in Washington and the world is quiet. And that's a good thing, for a change. The world is quiet because it is listening, and it understands that Trump is not prepared to trade in Israel to make others like him.
Former U.S. President Barack Obama did his part, especially with his well-packaged parting gift, which was coordinated with several other capitals around the world -- U.N. Security Council Resolution 2334, which essentially outlaws all settlements in the territories as well as the Western Wall. This was a present to the Palestinians that will follow us for many years (it is very hard to undo U.N. resolutions). It happened, but, as Haley promised at the AIPAC conference, it will not happen again. "The days of Israel-bashing are over," she told the audience in Washington.
Haley was the governor of South Carolina until her appointment. She is thought to be a likely and promising candidate in the 2024 presidential race, after the Trump era. Some say she accepted the appointment as a way to develop her talents in the field of foreign policy. She clearly arrived prepared for the job and then some.
Haley also sent us another message: With Obama, we always felt that we were in overdraft at the U.N., but with her, we always feel like we have a positive balance. Long live the difference.
Does anyone miss Obama?
Did Netanyahu skip AIPAC to avoid peace deal-pushing Trump?
One after another, the new leaders of the United States strode to the AIPAC podium here this week to hail Israel as America’s ally and the one true democracy in the Middle East.
Mike Pence, deeply moved to be addressing the vast crowd of Israel’s best American friends, related that he had been raised to “cherish” Israel, said that in his house they “pray for the peace of Jerusalem,” and set out his lifetime’s Israel-loving bona fides in an address in which he appeared throughout to be holding back tears.
Nikki Haley proclaimed herself “the new sheriff” at the UN, riding to Israel’s rescue after its years of suffering at the hands of that “ridiculous” institution and its agencies, and vowing to “kick ’em every single time” they do something wrong.
Paul Ryan castigated the Obama administration for having “damaged this trust” at the heart of the US-Israel relationship, in large part via the “unmitigated disaster” of the Iran nuclear deal, and promised, by contrast, that the current president’s “commitment to Israel is sacrosanct.”
Music, it must have been, to the ears of Benjamin Netanyahu. After all those years of Clintons and Obama, Israel’s second-longest-serving prime minister finally gets to work with a Republican administration, one that would appear to share so much of his worldview — and most notably his belief in the accumulation and use of strength and power as the key to a nation’s well-being.
Dr. Daniel Pipes: Trump's Israel policy

Exclusive: US planning Israeli-Palestinian-Gulf peace summit, sources say
Members of the Trump administration are exploring whether to host a landmark conference over the summer that would bring Gulf Arab leaders, the Palestinian Authority president and Israel’s prime minister onto the same stage for the first time, sources tell The Jerusalem Post.
US officials are quietly gauging interest in the event, according to the Israeli sources, who requested anonymity in order to respect their relationships with the new administration.
No event has been formally planned, and additional sources from both Israel and the US deny that a summit is the purpose of a recent flurry of American diplomatic activity in the region. But several discussed the idea as a concrete goal of an administration seeking a momentous foreign policy victory.
“The president wants to bring them over – a public event with them,” one senior Israeli source told the Post on Tuesday. “I think its feasible, but the question is what happens after.”
Back in the region, Trump’s peace envoy meets Abbas
US President Donald Trump sent his peace envoy back to the Middle East on Tuesday in a move seen as a sign that he intends to make a push for a peace deal.
The envoy Jason Greenblatt met late Tuesday with Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas at a resort on the Dead Sea in Jordan, which is hosting this week’s Arab League summit. Abbas’s spokesperson Nabil Abu Rudeinah described it as a “follow-up” meeting to exchange ideas, according to the official PA news agency Wafa. Abbas heads to Washington for his first meeting with the new president in the next few weeks.
Greenblatt also met with a series of Arab leaders and is expected to hold further talks on Wednesday as the summit starts.
Ahead of those meetings, Greenblatt met with European Union Foreign Policy chief Federica Mogherini for talks focused on advancing the Israel-Palestinian track. “It’s a priority for both of us,” he tweeted.
Mogherini shared Greenblatt’s tweet, adding that close cooperation between the European Union and the US is essential to achieve peace in the Middle East.
UN Watch: UK breaks with EU at U.N., changes stance on Israel, adopts UN Watch statistics
In an unprecedented move, Prime Minister Theresa May’s government changed the UK’s vote on Friday at the U.N. Human Rights Council on what it rightly called a “perverse” resolution condemning Israel for allegedly maltreating the Druze residents of the Golan Heights — and London warned that it would oppose all UNHRC resolutions on Israel if the UNHRC’s bias does not stop.
In past votes on the same text — introduced annually by Syria’s Assad regime, and more recently by the Islamic group acting as a surrogate — the UK had abstained, together with EU states.
This time, however, the UK joined the U.S. in voting No, in what experts say is a move by London to closely align itself with Washington. Brexit is about to begin and the UK increasingly needs to rely on close ties with America.
More significantly, the UK also declared on Friday that if the UNHRC doesn’t change its anti-Israel bias, they will begin to vote No on all five of the annual resolutions concerning Israel.
“Today we are putting the Human Rights Council on notice. If things do not change, in the future we will adopt a policy of voting against all resolutions concerning Israel’s conduct…”
To explain their new principled approach, the UK adopted UN Watch’s statistics showing the council’s bias, instead of numbers put out by the council’s champions which, in order to downplay the UNHRC’s bigotry, dilute the figures by wrongly conflating consequential resolutions that condemn countries with toothless texts that praise countries.
UN criticism of Israel's bombing of Hezbollah is absurd, says Johnson
Boris Johnson, the UK foreign secretary, has condemned the UN human rights council criticism of Israeli bombing of Hezbollah positions in the Golan Heights as “absolutely preposterous” and “a profound absurdity”.
He was speaking after the UK mission to the UN in Geneva put the UN “on notice” that it would vote against all resolutions about Israel’s conduct in the occupied Syrian and Palestinian territories unless the human rights council ended what the UK mission described as anti-Israel bias.
The overall tone of the UK government approach to Israel, if not its policy, has shifted since Donald Trump’s election, leaving behind the previous enthusiastic support for the US Democrat’s harsh criticisms of Israel’s conduct in the occupied territories.
Rex Tillerson, the US secretary of state, has already threatened to withdraw from the UN human rights council, and Nikki Haley, the US envoy to the UN, delighted Israel supporters this week when she promised “the era of Israel bashing” at the UN was coming to an end.
The UK mission put the UN on notice about its own approach to Israel on the final day of the council’s 34th session last week.
UK government’s UNHRC statement not newsworthy for the BBC
A former BBC anchor once described the corporation’s approach to the United Nations as follows:
“Whatever the United Nations is associated with is good — it is heresy to question any of its activities. The EU is also a good thing, but not quite as good as the UN.”
As has been documented here on numerous occasions over the years, in spite of its ‘public purposes’ remit, the BBC has continuously failed to provide its audiences with information that would enhance their understanding of anti-Israel bias at UN bodies such as the Human Rights Council and UNESCO. Rather, the corporation has found fit to provide uncritical amplification for assorted predetermined reports and resolutions.
Last week, as the UNHRC went about its usual business of passing anti-Israel resolutions, something rather unusual happened.
“The United Nations Human Rights Council adopted five resolutions critical of Israel on Friday, despite opposition from the US and an unprecedented critique from the UK.
Britain supported two of the five resolutions, but threatened to vote against any future such motions against the Jewish state because of the “bias” by the UN body.
“We are putting the Human Rights Council on notice,” Britain warned in a statement. “If things do not change, in the future we will adopt a policy of voting against all resolutions concerning Israel’s conduct in the Occupied Syrian and Palestinian Territories.””
Abbas expects Arab summit to push for Palestinian rights
Divided Arab leaders arriving in Jordan for a summit on Wednesday are seeking common ground to reaffirm their commitment to a Palestinian state, a long-standing goal that U.S. President Donald Trump last month put into doubt.
Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas, speaking to reporters on the sidelines of the summit on Tuesday, said he expected this year's Arab summit to deliver a "clear message to the world about Palestinian rights."
On the eve of the summit, Abbas met with Trump's international envoy, Jason Greenblatt, who has been shuttling between Israel, the Palestinian Authority and Jordan in recent weeks to assess prospects for reviving Israeli-Palestinian negotiations after years of paralysis.
Referring to Israeli settlements in Judea and Samaria, Abbas said Tuesday that "we are now waiting [to see] how things are being dealt with between them [the Americans] and the Israelis."
Abbas rejects amendments to Arab peace plan on Israel, Palestinians
Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas dismissed the idea of amending the Arab Peace Initiative on Wednesday, speaking before the 28th Arab League Summit in Jordan on Wednesday.
“We reaffirm that it is not worthwhile in terms of peace and justice for some to talk about…manipulating the essence of the Arab Peace Initiative,” Abbas said in a speech at the summit. “We want it to be implemented as it was [first approved] in 2002, without amendments.”
The Arab League first approved the Arab Peace Initiative in Beirut in 2002. The Arab Peace Initiative calls for the establishment of a Palestinian state along pre-1967 borders, an end to all claims, and a “just and agreed upon” resolution to the refugee issues.
In the final year of former US President Barack Obama’s administration, former US Secretary of State John Kerry, Jordanian King Abdullah, Egyptian President Abdel Fattah al-Sisi, and Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu met in Aqaba to discuss a regional solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, which would include a number of amendments to the Arab Peace Initiative.
Jordan king tells Arab summit no peace in region without Palestinian state
Arab leaders held their annual summit Wednesday, poised to endorse key Palestinian positions in the conflict with Israel — a signal to US President Donald Trump that a deal on Palestinian statehood must precede any Israeli-Arab normalization.
Jordan’s King Abdullah told the summit’s opening session that there can be no peace or stability in the region without setting up a Palestinian state alongside Israel.
The Arab summit was to adopt a series of resolutions, several dealing with the Palestinian issue. The statements, subject to last-minute change, were previously endorsed by Arab foreign ministers.
The draft resolutions condemn Israeli policies, including settlement construction, that are “aimed at eliminating the two-state solution and replacing it with apartheid.”
They also warned against moving diplomatic missions to contested Jerusalem, whose eastern sector is sought by the Palestinians as a capital. Trump has said he would move the US Embassy in Israel to Jerusalem, but relocation no longer appears imminent.
Israeli Foreign Ministry spokesman Emmanuel Nahshon said the summit’s focus on the Palestinians is a ploy to divert from the real issues. “We are the ultimate fig leaf for all Arab abuses and failures,” he wrote in a Twitter post.
PreOccupiedTerritory: State Dept. Had Been Hoping For *DEMOCRATIC* Genocidal Mideast States (satire)
With the release of former Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak from prison today, staffers at the US Department of State voiced disappointment at the denouement of the vaunted Arab Spring, and confessed they had been looking forward to ridding the Middle East of despotic, genocidal regimes and facilitating their replacement with democratic, genocidal regimes.
Mubarak was ousted in early 2011 and subsequently put on trial for presiding over brutal military suppression of the protests that eventually led to his resignation. Elections brought a Muslim Brotherhood candidate to the helm, but continued social unrest led to another coup that placed a general in power in 2013. During the early days of the Arab Spring, Egypt, Libya, Tunisia, Yemen, Bahrain, Syria, and Morocco, to varying degrees, saw popular protests that led to outright uprisings, sparking hopes among locals and foreign diplomats that the region could transition from iron-fisted rule by hereditary dictatorships to iron-fisted rule by democratically-elected governments.
That vision, however, failed to pan out, with peaceful change taking place only in Tunisia. Elsewhere, the existing regimes either crushed the uprisings or continue to wage civil wars that have become proxy fights among Islamists, Iran, and the Sunni states of the Persia Gulf. The death toll in Syria alone has reached into the hundreds of thousands, leading policymakers at the State Department to lament the lost potential of a regional sociopolitical movement that could have brought to power democratic leaders to perpetrate all those atrocities and mass murders instead.
Left-wing MK blasted for joining anti-AIPAC protest
A left-wing Israeli lawmaker invited to Washington by pro-Israel lobby AIPAC to participate in its annual conference took part in a protest against the organization on Monday, drawing sharp criticism.
Meretz MK Tamar Zandberg, whose trip to the meeting was funded by AIPAC, joined a protest outside of the conference, organized by the Jewish anti-establishment group IfNotNow, where demonstrators held up signs such as “Reject AIPAC” and “Reject occupation.”
Zandberg appeared to justify her decision to take part in the protest organized by saying in a blog post for The Times of Israel that “there is no greater deed of patriotism than opposing the occupation.”
In response to Zandberg’s participation in the demonstration, a number of right-wing activists and media outlets attacked her.
The far-right rapper Yoav Eliasi called Zandberg “human trash,” “filth” and “pig” in a Facebook video, while also accusing her of belonging to a “fifth column” seeking to undermine the State of Israel.
The right-wing online magazine Mida ran an article on Zandberg’s participation in the demonstration under the headline “There is no limit to the shame: MK Tamar Zandberg participates in BDS supporters’ protests.”
JCPA: Israeli-Palestinian Coordination Against Hamas
These days are critical days in the field of security, and all the branches of the Israeli defense establishment are working to thwart Hamas’ expected response to the assassination of senior Hamas figure Mazen Fuqha in the Gaza Strip. This is also one of the tests of the security coordination between Israel and the PA that has been in effect, despite many challenges, since the 1993 Oslo Agreement.
The defense establishment estimates that Hamas’ response could come from the Gaza Strip in an attempt to kidnap a soldier or a civilian on the border, or alternatively, to target IDF soldiers by sniper fire from afar.
Israel’s security establishment assumes that Hamas will not launch rockets into Israel, which would elicit a strong response and deteriorate into another round of fighting. Hamas currently has no interest in launching a large-scale military confrontation.
The other expected scenario is that Hamas will respond via its “sleeper cells” in the West Bank to carry out attacks against soldiers or settlers in the West Bank or infiltrate Israel and carry out an attack in central Israel.
Hamas went out on a limb by committing itself to revenge, even though it has no evidence that Israel eliminated Fuqha. It does not want to back down, so a revenge attack is only a question of time.
Police: Attacker tries to stab cops in Jerusalem Old City, is shot dead
Border guards shot dead an East Jerusalem woman who attempted to stab them outside Damascus Gate in Jerusalem’s Old City on Wednesday afternoon, police said.
None of the Border Police officers were reported injured in the incident.
According to police, the woman approached the officers with a scissors before they opened fire.
She was pronounced dead minutes later by medics from the Magen David Adom ambulance service, a spokesperson said.
The Palestinian Health Ministry later identified the assailant as Siham Rateb Nimir, 49, from East Jerusalem.
According to Palestinian media, her son was Mustafa Nimir, who was shot dead by Border Police officers in September after an apparent misunderstanding at an East Jerusalem checkpoint.
Officers recovered the scissors from the scene, police said.
IDF shutters 3 alleged West Bank gunsmithing operations
Israeli troops shut down three workshops believed to have been used to illegally manufacture guns in the Hebron region early Wednesday morning, as part of an ongoing crackdown on the weapons trade in the West Bank, the army said.
In a joint operation by the Israel Defense Forces and Shin Bet security service, the soldiers confiscated equipment and gun parts from the workshops, before sealing off the doors, the army said.
No arrests were made in connection with the alleged weapon manufacturing operations, an IDF spokesperson said.
So far in 2017, the army has located and shuttered 12 such workshops and seized over 110 guns, the IDF said Wednesday.
IDF Seizes 3 Illegal Weapons Making Workshops

The Sherlock Holmes of the IDF
For these guys, reading a scene is “elementary”. Meet the soldiers of the Desert Reconnaissance Battalion.

Iran sentences three, including a woman, to Medieval-like death sentences for crime of expressing an opinion
Three prisoners by the names of Sina Dehghan, Mohammad Nouri and Marjan Davari have reportedly been sentenced to death by Iranian courts based solely on opinions or beliefs they expressed.
"Verdicts like the ones issued to Sina Dehghan, Mohammad Nouri and Marjan Davari are reminiscent of the ones issued in the medieval times. The international community must speak out about their death sentences. We call for global condemnation," says Mahmood Amiry-Moghaddam, the spokesperson for Iran Human Rights.
According to close sources, Sina Dehghan, a resident of Tehran, was arrested on October 21, 2015 by Ministry of Intelligence agents from the city of Arak. At the time of his arrest, Mr. Dehghan was reportedly just finishing up his mandatory military service at a base in Tehran operated by the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps. Close sources say that prior to his arrest, Sina Dehghan along with Mohammad Nouri, Sahar Elyasi, and an individual under the age of 18 used the messenger app "Line" to share content that the judicial and security authorities in Iran consider offensive to Islam.
Branch 1 of the criminal court in the Markazi province, presided by Judge Mohamad Reza Rahmati, reportedly sentenced Sina Dehghan and Mohammad Nouri to death and Sahar Elyasi to seven years in prison. The individual under the age of 18 has reportedly not received a sentence yet and was released on bail.
ISIS Leader Suffers Gender Identity Crisis, Demands to be Called ‘Amy’ (satire)
Fresh off a string of stunning battlefield failures, ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi has locked himself in his room and refuses to come out. Mr. and Mrs. al-Baghdadi are at a loss for how to deal with their increasingly distant and willful son, the new Caliph of the Islamic State.
“It began when he turned 13, and we didn’t give him a bat mitzvah. But it’s because we aren’t Jewish, not that we don’t love him, but he insisted that Bar and Bat Mitzvahs are more of a cultural thing now, and not necessarily religious.” said Brittany al-Baghdadi, the Caliph’s long-suffering mother.
The Baghdadis live in a middle class neighborhood, surrounded by ample shopping and an unusual number of sword-makers. Ralph al-Baghdadi works part-time at one such shop, to supplement his primary income as a hairdresser.
“I’m a girl trapped in a 7th Century terrorist’s body!” came a muffled scream from the other side of the door to the Caliph’s room. “It’s all soooo icky!” The next few sentences were rendered unintelligible by the Caliph’s heaving sobs.

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