Elder Of Ziyon - Israel News

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Anti-semitism at SOAS; Israel supporter bitten

A pro-Israel protester has been taken to hospital after being bitten on the cheek outside SOAS, the School of Oriental and African Studies, today. Police arrested two men on suspicion of affray and they were being held in custody at a north London police station.

Four supporters of Stand With Us had decided to go to SOAS after learning that a Celebrate Palestine event was taking place as part of Israel Apartheid Week. Two of them, Tony Coren and Gili Brenner, went inside the university and had a number of conversations with the student participants. Mr Coren said: "We had placards and some information packs, and we had some very interesting and civilised discussions."

But suddenly, Mr Coren said, the atmosphere turned hostile. "About four or five people were standing around Gili, Ro'i Goldman, and the fourth member of our group. One man began to say some extremely unpleasant things about Jews. He said that the best thing the Jews had ever done was to go into the gas chambers. One asked if he could film him. The man said yes, adding that 'these things should be heard.'"

Another man then came forward and told the abusive man that he did not have to be filmed or interviewed. Despite the abusive man agreeing to be filmed, Mr Coren said, the second man, who was "big and burly and of Middle East appearance," allegedly launched himself at one of the counterprotesters, grabbing at his camera, punching him and then biting him on the cheek.

"There was a struggle and the university security guards came out. A number of other people then began to say we shouldn't be there. The president of the union came out and said we had made our point. A policeman strongly advised us to leave."

Ro'i Goldman, who plans to study in the UK next year, said he was very shocked by the experience. But Tony Coren said he was not shocked, but was angry that the university authorities had indicated that by their very presence, the Stand With Us protesters had possibly provoked the attack.

The alleged victim was taken to University College Hospital.

These are the same protesters that were using my "Apartheid?" posters.

(h/t many who sent this to me)

Benny Morris owns Ilan Pappe (link to full TNR article)

Benny Morris exposes Ilan Pappe as a fraud in a quite definitive way.

From TNR (thanks to TNR for giving a pass-through link beyond the paywall for EoZ readers):

At best, Ilan Pappe must be one of the world’s sloppiest historians; at worst, one of the most dishonest. In truth, he probably merits a place somewhere between the two.

Here is a clear and typical example—in detail, which is where the devil resides—of Pappe’s handiwork. I take this example from The Ethnic Cleansing of Palestine. On February 2, 1948, a young Jewish scientist named Aharon Katzir came to see David Ben-Gurion, the chairman of the Jewish Agency Executive and the leader of the Jewish community in Palestine.

Two months earlier, the General Assembly of the United Nations had recommended the partition of the country into two states. The Zionist establishment had accepted Resolution 181, but the Palestinian Arab leadership, and the surrounding Arab states, had rejected it—and Palestinian militiamen began to shoot at Jewish traffic, pedestrians, and settlements. The first Arab-Israeli war had begun.

Katzir had come to report to the man managing the Jewish war effort (Ben-Gurion also held the defense portfolio in the Jewish Agency Executive) about an experiment that he and his team in the Haganah’s “science branch” had been conducting. As was his wont, Ben-Gurion jotted down in his diary what his visitor told him. (Ben-Gurion’s diary, a major source on Israeli and Middle East history, consists almost entirely of his summaries of reports by people coming to see him; very few entries actually enlighten the reader about what Ben-Gurion thought or said.) The entry reads:

Aharon: ‘Shimshon’ [the operation’s codename], an experiment was conducted on animals. The researchers were clothed in gas masks and suit. The suit costs 20 grush, the mask about 20 grush (all must be bought immediately). The operation [or experiment] went well. No animal died, the [animals] remained dazzled [as when a car’s headlights dazzle an oncoming driver] for 24 hours. There are some 50 kilos [of the gas]. [They] were moved to Tel Aviv. The [production] equipment is being moved here. On the laboratory level, some 20 kilos can be produced per day.

This is the only accessible source that exists, to the best of my knowledge, about the meeting and the gas experiment, and it is the sole source cited by Pappe for his description of the meeting and the “Shimshon” project. But this is how Pappe gives the passage in English:

Katzir reported to Ben-Gurion: “We are experimenting with animals. Our researchers were wearing gas masks and adequate outfit. Good results. The animals did not die (they were just blinded). We can produce 20 kilos a day of this stuff.”
The translation is flecked with inaccuracies, but the outrage is in Pappe’s perversion of “dazzled,” or sunveru, to “blinded”—in Hebrew “blinded” would be uvru, the verb not used by Ben-Gurion—coupled with the willful omission of the qualifier “for 24 hours.” Pappe’s version of this text is driven by something other than linguistic and historiographical accuracy. Published in English for the English-speaking world, where animal-lovers are legion and deliberately blinding animals would be regarded as a barbaric act, the passage, as published by Pappe, cannot fail to provoke a strong aversion to Ben-Gurion and to Israel.
Such distortions, large and small, characterize almost every page of The Ethnic Cleansing of Palestine. So I should add, to make the historical context perfectly clear, that no gas was ever used in the war of 1948 by any of the participants. Pappe never tells the reader this. Raising the subject of gas is historical irrelevance. But the paragraph will dangle in the reader’s imagination as a dark possibility, or worse, a dark reality: the Jews, gassed by the Nazis three years before, were about to gas, or were gassing, Arabs. I note also, for accuracy’s sake, that, apart from the 1917 battle for Gaza in World War I, the only people in the Middle East who have used poison gas against their enemies in the past century have been Arabs—the Egyptians in Yemen in the 1960s, the Iraqis in Kurdistan in the 1980s. So there can be no escaping the conclusion that Pappe introduced the subject, and perverted the text, for one purpose only: to blacken the image of Israel and its leaders in 1948. This is also among the purposes of The Rise and Fall of a Palestinian Dynasty and Out of the Frame.

...Those who falsify history routinely take the path of omission. They ignore crucial facts and important pieces of evidence while cherry-picking from the documentation to prove a case.

Pappe is more brazen. He, too, often omits and ignores significant evidence, and he, too, alleges that a source tells us the opposite of what it in fact says, but he will also simply and straightforwardly falsify evidence.

...About the 1929 “Temple Mount” riots, which included two large-scale massacres of Jews, in Hebron and in Safed, Pappe writes: “The opposite camp, Zionist and British, was no less ruthless [than the Arabs]. In Jaffa a Jewish mob murdered seven Palestinians.” Actually, there were no massacres of Arabs by Jews, though a number of Arabs were killed when Jews defended themselves or retaliated after Arab violence. Pappe adds that the British “Shaw Commission,” so-called because it was chaired by Sir Walter Shaw (a former chief justice of the Straits Settlements), which investigated the riots, “upheld the basic Arab claim that Jewish provocations had caused the violent outbreak. ‘The principal cause ... was twelve years of pro-Zionist [British] policy.’

It is unclear what Pappe is quoting from. I did not find this sentence in the commission’s report. Pappe’s bibliography refers, under “Primary Sources,” simply to “The Shaw Commission.” The report? The deliberations? Memoranda by or about? Who can tell? The footnote attached to the quote, presumably to give its source, says, simply, “Ibid.” The one before it says, “Ibid., p. 103.” The one before that says, “The Shaw Commission, session 46, p. 92.” But the quoted passage does not appear on page 103 of the report. In the text of Palestinian Dynasty, Pappe states that “Shaw wrote [this] after leaving the country [Palestine].” But if it is not in the report, where did Shaw “write” it?

Actually, the thrust of the “Report of the Commission on the Palestine Disturbances of August, 1929,” which appeared in 1930, is completely contrary to what Pappe asserts (though it does list some non-lethal Jewish provocations—peaceful demonstrations, a newspaper article—as among the immediate triggers of the eruption of the Arab violence). The report states: “The fundamental cause, without which in our opinion disturbances either would not have occurred or would have been little more than a local riot, is the Arab feeling of animosity and hostility towards the Jews consequent upon the disappointment of their political and national aspirations and fear for their economic future.” As to the riots themselves, the report states: “The outbreak in Jerusalem on the 23rd of August [the start of the riots] was from the beginning an attack by Arabs on Jews for which no excuse in the form of earlier murders by Jews has been established.” The disturbances “took the form, for the most part, of a vicious attack by Arabs on Jews accompanied by wanton destruction of Jewish property.... In a few instances, Jews attacked Arabs and destroyed Arab property. These attacks, though inexcusable, were in most cases in retaliation for wrongs already committed by Arabs in the neighborhood in which the Jewish attacks occurred.”

Pappe repeatedly asserts, in order to demonstrate an Arab readiness for conciliation, that the Palestinian leadership in 1920-1922, including Hajj Amin, was “ambiguous” about Zionism and “was willing to compromise.” This is nonsense. Indeed, Hajj Amin was tried and convicted in absentia by a British court for helping to incite the murderous riots of April 1920.
Some of Pappe’s “historical” assertions are, quite obviously, politically motivated, but they are mistakes nonetheless. He refers to “statements made by Jewish and Zionist leaders about the need to build the ‘Third Temple.’” Husaynis often leveled that charge against the Jews, in order to incite the Muslim masses. But which important Zionist leader in the 1920s advocated the construction of a Third Temple? None whom I can name. Later Pappe reinforces this lie by remarking that “Palestinian historiography, including recent work that draws on newly revealed materials, suggests that the mufti’s concern was not baseless, and that there really was a Jewish plan to seize the entire Haram [Temple Mount].” Pappe offers no evidence for this extraordinary assertion.

Pappe repeatedly refers to “Harry Lock” of the British Mandate government secretariat in the 1920s—but the chief secretary’s name was Harry Luke. Pappe obviously encountered the name in Hebrew or Arabic and transliterated it, with no prior knowledge of Luke against which to check it: if he had consulted British documents, he would have known the correct spelling. Pappe refers to “the Hope Simpson Commission”—there was no such commission, only an investigation by an official named John HopeSimpson. He refers to “twenty-two Muslim ... states” in the world in 1931, but by my count there were only about half a dozen. He refers to “the Jewish Intelligence Service”—presumably the Haganah Intelligence Service—and then adds, “whose archive has been opened to Israeli historians but not to Palestinians.” To the best of my knowledge, this is an outright lie. All public archives in Israel, including the Haganah Archive in Tel Aviv, which contains the papers of its intelligence service, are open to all researchers.

Read the whole thing, which also shows that Pappe has no problem making up facts about his own history as well!

(h/t Folderol and Mr. K. Dilkington)

Hamas deploying wire-guided anti-tank missiles?

The Palestinian Arab media is quoting Israeli sources (which I cannot find*) that Hamas is deploying a wire-guided anti-tank system.

According to the reports, on Friday the IDF for the first time faced a Russian-made 9K111 Fagot (AT-4 Spigot) anti-tank system, as they were fired upon near the security fence. No damage was reported.

Hezbollah has more sophisticated wire-guided missiles.

The Spigot has a range of up to 2.5 kilometers.

Israel recently successfully deployed in the field the Trophy tank anti-missile system, and it was used this morning to neutralize an anti-tank missile.

*UPDATE: Since I queued this post this morning, two Grad rockets have slammed into Ashkelon and two people were treated for shock. In the JPost article it says

Hamas’s so-called “return to direct terror activity” began Friday with the firing of a guided anti-tank missile at an IDF jeep on patrol along the Gaza border.

This is the second time in a month that a guided anti-tank missile has been fired from the Gaza Strip. The IDF believes that Hamas and possibly other organizations have a significant arsenal including Kornet, Faggot and Sagger-guided anti-tank missiles.

Purim open thread!

Who has time to post?

But for those not familiar with Purim, here's the beginning of the story, sung by a three year old:

Where in Gaza would Abbas stay?

From Ma'an:

President Mahmoud Abbas has sent three delegates to the Gaza Strip in order to arrange for his stay in the besieged enclave, Palestinian officials said Saturday.

Abbas announced Wednesday that he was ready to travel to Gaza to negotiate a unity agreement with his rival party Hamas, which has been in control on the coastal strip since 2007.

Immediately after the announcement, the Hamas leadership welcomed the initiative saying they would make the needed arrangements for the visit.

But given that most the Palestinian Authority’s institutions in Gaza are under Hamas’ control including the presidential headquarters, Abbas may have a hard time finding a place to stay.

May I suggest the Grand Palace Hotel, which may be visited at www.grandpalace.ps?

The Grand Palace features Internet access, luxury accommodations, well-appointed meeting rooms and easy access to the beautiful beach. It even has redundant generators for when the power goes out from Hamas not paying their bills.

Elbaradei stoned by Islamists (video)

From AFP:

Islamists hurled stones and shoes at Mohamed ElBaradei, Nobel Peace laureate and a secular contender for Egypt's presidency, as he tried to vote Saturday in a referendum on constitutional amendments.

ElBaradei was hit in the back by a stone thrown from the crowd of hundreds but managed to escape unhurt and slammed as "irresponsible" the holding of a referendum without adequate law and order.

"We don't want you," the mob shouted, throwing stones, shoes and water at the former UN nuclear watchdog chief as he turned up at a Cairo polling station, five weeks after president Hosni Mubarak was ousted by mass protests.

"He lives in the United States and wants to rule us. It's out of the question," one of them said.

"We don't want an American agent," said another.

ElBaradei beat a retreat to his car and left without voting at the polling station in Muqattam, a largely poor district in south Cairo.

"Went 2 vote w family attacked by organized thugs. Car smashed w rocks. Holding referendum in absence of law & order is an irresponsible act," he wrote on Twitter.

Members of the crowd interviewed by AFP before the assault identified themselves as Islamists without elaborating on their precise allegiance.

An official from the Muslim Brotherhood, the largest and most organized opposition movement, denied members of his group were involved.

Egyptian democracy. Doesn't it just fill you with pride?

Hamas attacks journalists - again

From CNN:

Violence erupted in and around Gaza on Saturday, as Hamas security forces roughed up demonstrators and journalists, and five people were wounded in cross-border fighting.

Security forces stormed the offices of international news organizations after the violent break-up of a small demonstration in Gaza City on Saturday, witnesses said. Journalists covering that event were roughed up, they said.

They raided the offices of CNN, Reuters and Japanese broadcaster NHK, all in the same building where international news operations are located.

Reuters bureau chief for Israel and the Palestinian territories, Crispian Balmer, said one employee was beaten with an iron rod and another was threatened with being thrown out the window. He said a camera was confiscated but was later returned. A TV and a computer keyboard were destroyed by the security forces.

The forces forcibly entered the CNN office, demanding to see whether there was any television equipment and asking if anyone had been shooting video footage from the office.
NHK Jerusalem bureau chief Disuke Iijima said videotape had been confiscated.

And, surprisingly, from Ma'an:

A Palestinian journalist in the Gaza Strip said Saturday that she received threats of violence from Hamas authorities over her participation in demonstrations.

The journalist told Ma'an that Hamas police threatened her and her son if she wrote anything on Facebook or her blog about the pro-unity protests that have been dispersed violently throughout Gaza in recent days.

She said authorities sent the head of her family a text message saying, "We will kill her the next time she blogs against us or uses Facebook to organize anything ... If you won't do it, we'll do it for you."

The journalist, who requested anonymity due to fear of reprisal, said she was detained and that while in jail, police referenced her son by name and indirectly threatened to take action against him over her work.

"I deactivated my Facebook account and can't write anything on my blog" due to the threats against him, she told Ma'an by phone from Gaza, adding that Hamas security was following her.

Other journalists told Ma'an that authorities were taking unprecedented measures against press in the wake of the demonstrations. Cameras and recording equipment have been confiscated and data erased.

"The situation for journalists is really terrible; it's unbelievable," she said. "In the past they treated people from Fatah like this but now they are targeting ordinary civilians, including journalists."

She added: "This is the first time I'm afraid to use my name."

Interestingly, CNN and Reuters were silent when Hamas attacked other journalists only two days earlier.

Outside of press associations, I have yet to see any condemnation of Hamas for these acts.

For Purim: Fiddler/You Got Served trailer mash-up

Funny!

(h/t Yerushalimey)

Elder posters appear opposite London anti-Israel hatefest

From Richard Millett's blog:

A small pro-Israel protest was held outside the “Celebrate Palestine” festival at SOAS today, but it wasn’t long before the organisers complained to security who called the police to have the protest removed.

While the pro-Israel protesters were outside arguing their case to remain, inside Lowkey was rapping to the students about Israel being an apartheid, supremacist, colonialist state.

Back outside the police eventually relented after realising how ridiculous it would be to remove a peaceful, static protest.

The protesters then moved on to Ahava in Covent Garden outside of which an anti-Israel mob had congregated for their usual Saturday hate-fest.

Well done to Stand With Us UK which produced the placards, leaflets and very eye-catching “We support a two-state solution” stickers.

From another source

V'nahafoch hu!

(h/t Silke, Folderol, Joel)

Repost of my 2008 Purim Torah - Rock and Roll

I am re-posting this Purim Torah I wrote in 2008 because I was very proud of it, and I have no time this year to even consider writing something original.

It was written at the request of the beautiful and talented Daughter of Ziyon - now also known as Mrs. Inventor - to give in a speech when she spent a year in Israel.

Hmmm...maybe I'll use it during the Shabbos Sheva Brachos....

There are two types of entities in the world, the eternal and the temporary. While there is only one true Eternal, Hashem has given us symbols of tangible objects that also can be considered "permanent" because they last for very long periods of time.

To see what Hashem is designating for us to consider "permanent" we need to see how Hashem Himself is described. And one of the most famous descriptions of Hashem is "Hashem Tzuri v'Goali", Hashem is my Rock and my Redeemer. The reason Hashem is described as a Rock is because rocks are permanent features in our lives; by referring to Hashem as a "Rock" we mean that He is eternal and reliable, just as huge stones are permanent in our lifetimes.

So we see that the concept of a Rock is associated with permanence, with eternity.

What object would be most associated with transience? The Gemara talks about two different kinds of kinyanim, those for things that are immovable - like land (kinyan karka) - and those for things that are portable (kinyan metaltilin).Even very heavy objects would be considered metaltilin, movable, because, in theory, one can place them on wheels and roll them somewhere else. In a sense, the best symbol for something that is not permanently in place would be the wheel. Indeed, in Kabbalistic thought we have the concept of "gilgul neshamos", that our own temporary lives roll from one instance to another as if they are all part of a wheel, a gilgul. Things that are temporary are things that can roll on wheels.

So we have these two concepts: permanence and transience, of the constant and the temporary - of the Rock, and the Roll.

Rock and roll represents the synthesis of these two diametrically opposed concepts; it is the place where the Eternal meets His lowly subjects, and we can only get a glimpse of His power by listening to an electric guitar powered by a thousand-watt amp cranked up to 11. Just as the Bnei Yisrael "saw" the kolot at Har Sinai, the sense of hearing being transformed into the sense of sight, so we can "feel" the sounds from a good rock and roll band, transforming sound into feeling, and giving us an experience as similar as possibly to Maamad Har Sinai.

And rock and roll artists understand their role in this synthesis. For example, when The Who proclaims "Long Live Rock" notice how they are only talking about the permanent part of the equation, the Rock, and not the temporary Roll, which would be nonsensical. But it makes perfect sense for Joan Jett to declare "I Love Rock and Roll" as she is proclaiming her love of all of Creation as well as the Creator.

Perhaps the best proof of this dialectic (a perfect word that I've never used in my life before!) is in the halachos of Purim itself.

We all know that we celebrate Purim on the 14th of Adar - except in walled cities, when we celebrate it on the 15th. The walls of the walled cities symbolize the permanence of the Rock - indeed, the walls were constructed out of rocks - while the Purim of everyone else is the Purim of galus, or temporary existence, of the Roll from one place to another. Shushan Purim is mainly celebrated in Yerushalayim nowadays, which houses the Even Shesiyah - the Foundation Stone, the Rock of all rocks. Together, Shushan Purim and Purim are the Rock and the Roll.

But there is a hidden aspect of this concept that both proves it and makes us understand it better.

So far, we have discussed the "Rock" and the "Roll" of "Rock and Roll." But we have ignored the "and", the small word that connects the two, In fact, that "and" is terrifically important in understanding the synthesis of the Rock and the Roll.

This year (2008), Purim and Shushan Purim are not next to each other, but we have a Purim MeShulash here in Eretz Yisroel, a three-day Purim that is separated by Shabbos. Just as Rock and Roll are connected by the "and", so is the triple Purim of this year connected by the Shabbos. And this hidden aspect of the "and" - the hester astir - shows us the importance of the Shabbos.

Shabbos has aspects both of the permanent Rock - it is eternal and always there - and the transient Roll - it only rolls around once a week. Indeed, in Olam Haboh, it will be "yom shekulo Shabbos u'menuchah" - it will be truly permanent. But in this world it only gives us a taste of permanence, but it is not permanent itself. Yet is is certainly also not temporary.

So Shabbos is the bridge between the eternal and the temporary, between the Purim and the Shushan Purim, between the Rock and the Roll.

But this still leaves a major question: if Purim precedes Shushan Purim, then why is it called Rock and Roll, and not Roll and Rock?

The answer is simple. In Hebrew, "and" is not a word, but a mere letter - the letter vav. And, in this case, specifically on the day that is v'nehepach hu, it is a vav hamehapeches, a vav that turns Roll and Rock into the proper Rock and Roll.

May we always learn from Purim Hameshulash, and from Rock and Roll how to run our very temporary lives with a constant awareness of the Eternal.

Helen Thomas exposes herself in Playboy...

...as being just as ugly inside as she is on the outside:

Don't buy Playboy for this interview

Of course I don't condone any violence against anyone. But who wouldn't fight for their country? What would any American do if their land was being taken? Remember Pearl Harbor. The Palestinian violence is to protect what little remains of Palestine. The suicide bombers act out of despair and desperation. Three generations of Palestinians have been forced out of their homes – by Israelis – and into refugee camps."

Yes, she really compares terrorists blowing up an ice cream parlor filled with kids to Americans fighting in the Pacific in World War II.

And that's only a tiny part of this interview that exposes Thomas as a thoroughly despicable human being, and those who defend her as being hypocrites of the highest order.

UPDATE: Newsbusters actually wades through the interview. It is even worse than the PR Newswire link I posted. She makes it very, very clear she is anti-semitic.

When quoted a criticism she doesn't like, she automatically asks "Did a Jew write that"? Classic.

Read it.

Why the media silence over Hamas attacks of journalists? (Toameh)

Expanding on a theme I wrote about yesterday, from Khaled Abu Toameh:

In the past few days, at least eight journalists were severly beaten with clubs or summoned for questioning while doing their job in the Hamas-cointrolled Gaza Strip when Hamas policemen in civilian clothes began attacking demonstrators.

Other journalists have had their cameras and notepads confiscated while covering various events that were deemed "provocative" by the Hamas authorities.

Hamas believes that intimidation of the media will prevent the truth from coming out. Like most Arab dictatorships, Hamas does not tolerate stories that reflect negatively on its radical regime in the Gaza Strip - the reason the Hamas government has been cracking down on local journalists who fail to toe the line.

Although some of the journalists who were assaulted work with international news organizations, many of these foreign media outlets ignored the story, apparently out of fear of retribution by the Hamas authorities.

These journalists who chose to defy Hamas should be supported not only by their foreign colleagues, but also by Western governments and human rights organizations.

Otherwise, the day will come when the world will never know what is really happening inside Hamas's Gaza Strip.

Haaretz' coverage of the events in Shushan (Josh Lipsitz)

I received a spoof edition of Haaretz PDF credited to Josh Lipsitz. Here are some of the stories:

Haaretz Interview: Haman "the wicked" –Up Close and Personal

Sitting with a relaxed Haman and sipping cappuccino in his balcony with its stunning view of the Persian kingdom I found myself wondering how this kind, engaging man received such a bad rap from so many other journalists. Over that long afternoon, I felt we formed a special bond.

Little did I know that this would, tragically, be Haman's last interview.

Haaretz: Haman, I hope I am not being presumptuous but I heard a rumor that you occasionally enjoy reading Haaretz.

Haman: Occasionally—that is not true! I read Haaretz every day! It is a great paper. The writing is crisp and engaging. The editorials are thoughtful and provocative. Your view of Mordechai and Esther is balanced and fair – not like those other Jewish papers. I draw liberally from Haaretz when I need to make my case against the Jews. I really don't know where I would be without you.

Haaretz: Wow. That comes as something of a surprise coming from a person who is usually thought of as a "hater of Jews."

Haman: (laughter) Ah yes, I expected that to come up at some point. The Jewish lobby is very powerful here in Persia and you can't talk about certain things without being pulled out on the daybed so to speak.

The truth is that I have no special hatred for Jews. I hate some Jews just as I hate some non-Jews. The arithmetic is not really important. You see I sit with you and drink coffee even though you are Jewish.

Haaretz: And you do have a beautiful place here and I feel like we can really connect. It's a shame that the Mordechai and Esther never took the time to establish this kind of dialogue with you.

Haman: I try to ignore these things and focus on initiatives that can bring positive change for Persia and stability to the Middle East.

Haaretz: The decree to kill all the Jews of Persia on the 14th of Adar. Please forgive me asking, but many have said that this is a little extreme.

Haman: Yes, well there has been a great deal of misinformation. The truth is that I was simply looking for a leisure activity for the good citizens of Persia. You see they have been very frustrated since Simon Cowell left American Idol. They need some outlet for their sadistic feelings. We all have needs you know. It was not that I had meant anything personally against the Jews. They were simply in the right place at the right time.

Haaretz: So you deny that there was something personal against Mordechai for failing to bow?

Haman: (laughing). Oh - so much has been made of that little incident by the Jewish lobbyists and by Fox News. The truth is that I barely notice whether people are bowing or not. My wife
Zeresh was more offended than I and she was offended on behalf of the honor of the King and the people of Persia. I am merely a public servant.

Haaretz: Do you think there is hope for peace with Mordechai and the Jewish fanatics?

Haman: I pray that soon when we think of the Jews we will think not just of peace but of many, many pieces.

Roger Waters to play benefit concert for Persian victims of Jewish terrorism

Visionary musician, creator of legendary rock band Pink Floyd, and moral compass for many Haaretz readers, Roger Waters, has voiced his strongest possible condemnation of Jewish violence especially against Haman, his ten sons, and the 800 innocent martyrs of Shushan. Waters has announced that Pink Floyd will hold a benefit concert in Shushan's Vashti Memorial Stadium for the families of the Victims Of Mordechai, and other Israeli Terrorists (VOMIT). They will perform works from two of Pink Floyd's best known albums: Wish Jew Were Not Here and Dark Side of the Jew. The event will be co-sponsored by the following Israeli human rights groups, Haman Achshav, Rabbis for Human Blights, B'chelem, and Machsochism Watch.

J Street to hold first "alternative" Purim celebration

J Street, the Jewish lobbying group launched by philanthropist George Tzaros, has announced plans for an alternative Purim celebration which will involve fasting, mourning, and donning of sackcloth.

J Street director Jeremy Benzonah beamed as he made the announcement, "As Jews we will celebrate Purim, but we choose to celebrate the true Purim, which we pronounce, "Poor-him" (meaning Haman).

In attendance will be the newly elected Chicago Mayor, Wrong Emanuel and there will be a videotaped greetings from US President Barak Obama and Turkish Prime Minister Tayyip Edrogan. Special journalism awards will be given to Helen Thomas, who was fired from her job for speaking her mind about Israel and Jews and to New York Times columnist “Uncle” Tom Friedman.

Benzonah flatly rejected the criticisms leveled at J Street was anti-hamantaschen. These criticisms emerged recently in conservative Jewish circles after J Street backed an international Arab boycott of the triangle-shaped cake. They also sent a letter to the Food and Drug Administration requesting that Hamantaschen be
made illegal in the United States. "J Street is absolutely, and proudly prohamantaschen" says Benzonah.
"However, this does not mean that we agree with everything that the Hamatashen represents." "For example, we would be much more comfortable if the Hamantashen were smaller, round, and filled with chocolate chips or crushed pecans rather than the offensively ethnic poppy seed and jelly fillings often used by our right wing counterparts."

"As you know, friends can criticize friends."

Guiltsone Commission to investigate Jewish war crimes in Persia

The United Nations has appointed honorable Judge Richard Guiltstone to head the investigation of war crimes committed by Mordechai, Esther and gangs of right wing Jewish fanatics in Persia. Guiltstone was eager to begin the important work of the investigation. “Mordechai, Esther, and other Jewish terrorists clearly exploited the alleged extermination plan to justify widespread and disproportionate violence against Persian non-combatants.” “Many of these atrocities have been documented on film we received from Al Jazeera, the BBC and CNN.”

“Thus we are already sure that war crimes were committed. However, we need to pay lip service to some form of investigation to quiet the very powerful pro-Jewishl lobby.” Guiltstone’s committee will begin their work in Shushan where the Jews reportedly killed 800 Persians and hung Haman and his 10 sons on trees which were 50 cubits high “in a clear violation of all conventions of war.” Those trees have been brought to the Hague where they will form a permanent exhibit of man’s inhumanity. Queen Esther has been warned that if she visits the United Kingdom she will be arrested immediately which has put a damper on her Spring shopping plans.

(h/t Menachem L)

See also Joe Settler's similar Purim spoof of HaMa'an. With comments!

Some "non-violence"

Today the IDF spokesperson tweeted a message similar to messages tweeted nearly every Friday ever since they started their Twitter account:

~200 rioters near Bil'in, ~30 Ni'lin currently hurling rocks @ security forces who are responding w/riot dispersal means

And we know that stones are thrown every Friday because every once in a while the wire services decide to show the stone throwers:

Yet, invariably, the "pro-Palestinian" community pretends that these weekly protests are non-violent. In fact, there is no shortage of people who claim that they are against violence in any form. Amnesty International's blog last year featured an article claiming that Palestinian Arab non-violent resistance has its roots from the early 1900s and continues today, and that terrorism was an anomaly from the 1970s and 80s. (The is of course a ridiculous lie, as Palestinian Arab terror is exactly as old as Zionism itself.)

Yet the Bil'in protests occur every week, and every week there are rock throwers.

So either these self-described Gandhis consider throwing rocks non-violent, or they are doing nothing to discourage the stone-throwers at their most visible weekly protests.

Either way, the claim of "non-violent resistance" rings very, very hollow.