Elder Of Ziyon - Israel News: Preoccupied

Showing posts with label Preoccupied. Show all posts

Thursday, December 01, 2022

Report: Poor Showing By Arab Party Because Spent Campaign Funds On Candy To Celebrate Dead Jews (PreOccupied Territory)

Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory.

yucky candy Nazareth, December 1 - Recriminations and harsh verbiage continued this week in the aftermath of a dramatic national election that saw one of the country's most venerable political factions representing Israel's Arab minority disappear from the parliament in a failure to attract enough votes to hit the representation threshold - apparently, according to recently-released documents, because ideologues had directed monies to showing solidarity with Palestinian terrorists instead of toward direct efforts to bring more loyal voters to the polls.

Balad fell thousands of votes short of the number necessary to secure seats in the Knesset during Israel's elections a month ago, part of the shifting political dynamic that saw parties supportive of former Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu garner enough votes to guarantee them 64 Knesset seats - three more than the minimum of 61 necessary for a majority coalition in the 120-seat legislature. Analysis has focused on the declining appeal of left-wing ideologies - Meretz also failed to clear the threshold, amid a decades-long decline; Labor barely managed to stay afloat as it competed with center-left Blue-and-White and center Yesh Atid for the same voters. But new disclosures indicate that Balad under Sami Abu Shehadeh fell victim to a different dynamic: instead of making direct rhetorical appeals to its base, it sabotaged its electoral chances by focusing on preparations to celebrate when Palestinian terrorists kill Jews, mostly in the form of candy for distribution in the streets.

Former party head Jamal Zahalka lambasted Abu Shehadeh for the decision, calling it "imbecilic and self-destructive." From exile abroad, former chief Azmi Bishara called the move "questionable," even as he acknowledged his own moral support for Hezbollah and other violent enemies of Israel. "I didn't sacrifice our electoral chances in the process," he stated. "Our task is to dismantle Israel as a Jewish state from the inside, and measures like this complicate things unnecessarily. Our giving out sweets doesn't distinguish us from the myriad other factions doing it, doesn't mark us as appealing to the right voter."

Last week, as Palestinians and some Arab citizens of Israel reacted with glee to Wednesday's double-bombing of bus stops at the main highway leading out of Jerusalem, the distribution of Balad's candy seemed more subdued than in the past. "It's a sick joke this time," lamented one passer-by, helping himself to some cheese pastry. "It's not like Balad has anything to be proud of, and it's far too early to be calling attention to themselves even if they want to stand in some upcoming election. Still, not gonna say no to free knaffeh."

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Descendants Of Arab Conquerors Confused Why European Settlers In Americas Never Claimed Land Was Always Theirs (PreOccupied Territory)

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nice house car Washington, November 24 - The distant progeny of seventh-century invaders of the Levant from the Arabian Peninsula and of later immigrants from around the region voiced puzzlement today that the White people who colonized and eventually took over the New World have not followed the same playbook they themselves did, namely to insist that they were there since the dawn of time and therefore the only legitimate people with collective political rights in the area.

Pro-Palestinian activists and political figures wondered Thursday what might explain Europeans' collective neglect of a powerful tool in the rhetorical repertoire, namely claiming that one's people occupy the same territory since time began, and that others who make claims on that territory have no historical validity to do so - despite that claim flying in the face of all the evidence indicating that one's ancestors in fact came much later.

"It works well for us, and I can't imagine why Westerners don't do that same thing," stated Nour Erakat, a commentator and political activist. "It would be so much easier for the US, for example, to dismiss 'Indian' claims by calling those claims lies, as we do with Jewish claims to our land. My clan in particular came to Palestine in the nineteenth century, but that doesn't stop us from insisting we're the original inhabitants going back to prehistory. And that we always identified as 'Palestinian,' even though no native group ever referred to itself as such. It would be so much less complicated that the current mess those New World governments have to deal with, what with the treaties, reservations, and other hassles. Just get rid of those other people and say you were always there. What's the big deal?"

"I understand the Western reluctance to abandon the factual realm entirely," acknowledged James Zogby. "Without an anchor in documented history, the Western mind can't make coherent sense of the world. But with time, we can teach them to create narratives that do not rely on such a flimsy basis as 'facts' and 'evidence' - and that will free them to do as we have done, to deny the legitimacy of indigenous peoples restoring their political nationhood, by denying the historicity of any such nationhood."

"Also, if Muslims can claim pre-Islamic and Biblical figures as Muslim," he added, "why all the fuss over anachronism? Just call the Lenape New Yorkers and Seminole Floridians and be done with it. It works for Al-Khalil, Al-Quds, the Haram al-Sharif, and Al-Aqsa."

Year 2100: NGOs Accuse Israel Of 3D-Printing Palestinian Blood For Matza (PreOccupied Territory)

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3D printer Paris, November 17 - Human Rights groups again leveled the charge today against the Jewish State that the latter engages in the quasi-cannibalistic, quasi-murderous practice of manufacturing the likeness of Arab children's circulatory fluids and incorporating that product into the traditional flatbread Jews eat on Passover.

Human Rights Watch, Amnesty International, Btselem, and several other organizations made the accusation Thursday in a joint report they assembled from activist reports in territories that they and several activists consider under illegal Israeli occupation, while Israel and the rest of the world consider the areas either independent, self-governing non-state entities or part of the State of Israel. The report includes repetitions of older accusations, such as the "Apartheid" label that carried a coherent meaning a century ago but has now lost clear intent, and newer adaptations of familiar themes from previous reports, such as the charge that Israel creates physical replicas of Palestinian children's blood to use in matza.

"This heinous practice has been documented by activists for a thousand years," the report declared, in apparent reference to the first recorded Blood Libel, a twelfth-century incident in Norwich, England, that resulted in a massacre of Jews and introduced the phenomenon to the Europe and eventually to the Middle East. "The Occupation has consistently exploited technology to cement its hold on occupied Palestine, and the use of 3D printing for that purpose fits the same established mold."

HRW and Amnesty abandoned their global focus on human rights and political repression in the 2050's, electing to dispense with the pretense that the organizations' donors and staff paid any more than token attention to abuses that did not involve Jews as alleged perpetrators. HRW absorbed Israeli group Btselem in 2035 but maintains the organizational fiction that it constitutes a separate entity despite absolute overlap in personnel.

The groups presented their report at a press conference with Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas, currently serving the 95th year of his four-year term in office; he was elected in 2006. The office of President became largely ceremonial once donor countries withdrew their support amid consistent Palestinian refusal to agree to final-status talks, let alone to refrain from murderous incitement to terrorism and paying lifetime pensions to terrorists and their families. Abbas lost his main sponsor with the fall of Iran's Islamist regime decades ago, and with an iron fist, rules the offices he rents in Basel, Switzerland, using nearly a billion dollars in embezzled aid money.

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Airline Officials Puzzled: No Rush Of Leftists Leaving Country After Right-Wing Victory, Despite Vows (PreOccupied Territory)

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Lufthansa Airbus A320 Ben-Gurion International Airport, November 10 - Representatives of the dozens of carriers offering passenger service to destinations from here all over the world voiced confusion today, more than a week after a convincing electoral showing by conservative factions in national elections: numerous supporters of the now-minority faction threatened to move out of the country if the pro-Netanyahu faction attracted enough votes to return to power, but in practice the carriers have registered no uptick in flight reservations commensurate with the anticipated exodus.

"Well first of all, it's disappointing, from a planning and economic standpoint," stated Moshe Ufnik of El Al Israel Airlines. "The demographic most associated with those pronouncements isn't necessarily going to choose us as their carrier, but from what I understand of our colleagues in Israel's international passenger aviation community, our experience has been typical in this respect."

"We had some anticipation of a windfall over the next several months, perhaps up to two years out," acknowledged Lufthansa spokesman Gerhardt von Stupp. "Germany features often in Israeli middle-class laments about the cost of living, in contrast with other places. Naturally, we expected the group who vowed to leave in case of a right-wing victory to make good on their commitment - all the more so since in contrast with their nemesis the criminally-indicted Netanyahu, obviously they must be paragons of integrity and would never make bombastic pronouncements such as the ones they did, unless they intended to back them up with action. At this stage, however, we have seen no noticeable increase in demand for flights to Germany from such potential customers, not even for connecting flights to other destinations. It's confounding."

A Turkish Airways representative disclosed that her company had considered offering a "migration bird package" to left-wing Israelis in anticipation of just such an outward wave, but that a combination of uncertain polling leading up to the election and the overt political content of commercial advertising making executives uncomfortable put the kibosh on such a marketing angle.

"It was too close to call for a long time," explained Roonil Wazlib. "If the electorate didn't return a convincing verdict for Netanyahu, the entire marketing campaign would misfire. We couldn't take that financial risk. Nevertheless, it's surprising to see no bump at all in people moving out of Israel. We heard so much talk to the effect that a Bibi restoration would spark mass flight in certain circles."

"We did have some Tel Aviv people fly to Istanbul for good weekend hotel deals, though," she conceded.

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Omnipotent God Amused You Think 'Can God Make A Stone He Can't Lift?' Means Anything (PreOccupied Territory)

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crepuscular rays in forest Heaven, November 3 - The creator ex nihilo of all existence, with complete control and absolute knowledge of every last detail of that creation, expressed appreciation today for the humor of your feeble attempts at disproving His immanent reality, supernal sources disclosed.

"Oh My Me, that's funny," the Almighty was heard to utter. "That human, and many others, believe that the limited, inadequate capacity of human language and cognition has any bearing on My nature." The LORD made the statement in response to a transcript of your contending that the paradoxical inquiry, "Can God make a stone so heavy that not even He can move it?" undermines the coherence of God as commonly understood as a tenable proposition.

"If God can make a stone that He can't lift then there's something God can't do, which means He's not omnipotent," you declared, with laughable confidence. "If He can make the stone but then lift it, then He can't make a stone that He can't lift, which means there's something God can't do, and He's not omnipotent. Checkmate, believers."

The Being that created the universe with the spoken word made heard what other divine beings heard as a chuckle. "I say God 'chuckled' because that's a word approximating the idea," cautioned the Archangel Gabriel. "Words, of course, as human constructs, cannot convey the fullness of God's actions or communication, as even the word 'God' is just a placeholder for His true essence that cannot be captured in the narrow capacity of language, and the pronoun 'He' is a pale reflection of what it represents in reference to God. My point is, the One who generated the very fabric of reality inherently possesses the power to create whatever He wishes and mold that creation to fit His will - and that omnipotence perforce includes control over Himself, which He can choose to restrict."

"In other words," continued Gabriel, "God can set rules that He chooses to follow, by which He will not do certain things. If appropriate, that may include not lifting a rock He has created. The rules are crucial for order, which He would disrupt by exercising non-selective omnipotence, and He therefore controls His omnipotence for the purpose of achieving the purpose of creation that He has ordained - partly to empower humanity to make choices that matter." You appear not to understand that, the archangel added, which, if he may remark, is hilarious in a pitiful sort of way, considering how smart and sophisticated you think your flimsy argument is.

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Israel Doing Same Things Other Countries Do Somehow Worse Because JEWS (PreOccupied Territory)

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Haredi at Kotel Tel Aviv, October 30 - International organizations calling attention to the Jewish State's actions and how they affect Palestinians stressed the importance today of maintaining focus and pressure on the country and its government because of those actions, which take place in most every other state in the world, but require greater urgency and severity in response because Jews.

Representatives of United Nations agencies and various global human rights groups agreed in separate interviews Thursday that the world must maintain its insistence on giving Israeli policies and behaviors prominence in new coverage and human rights criticism even as regimes near and far perpetrate violations equal to or far worse than Israel's alleged crimes, because "you've got to start somewhere" and that somewhere for every single one of those organizations and agencies has to be Israel because Jews.

"Israeli brutality is the root of brutality elsewhere," explained an activist with the BDS movement in the southern English city of Brighton. "The world was an entirely peaceful place until the Zionists came and disturbed everything. If we can reverse the establishment of Jewish sovereignty and security in a place of their choosing, we can restore the bliss that the world knew before 1896. That's why when Israel destroys a rocket-launch site in Gaza that targeted Israelis, it's worse than China's treatment of its Muslim Uighur minority, which, between you and me, can you even prove?"

"Tens of millions of ethnic German refugees had to leave the homes they knew in Czech, Polish, and other territory at the end of and after World War Two," observed Chris Gunness, a former Gaza coordinator for the United Nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees who had to operate out of Tel Aviv because Gazans would have killed him for his homosexuality. "Then there was the creation of Pakistan out of the former British possession of India - tens of millions on both sides of the partition line who had to move to the new entity on the other side, through abundant suffering and abuse. They were permanently resettled in their respective new countries despite generations, even ancient, presence of their families in the previous location. Then the world stopped treating those issues as important. But with Palestinians and Israel we need to perpetuate the refugees and their descendants in that stateless status until Israel agrees - or is forced to - destroy itself, because... it's Israel. Everyone knows that's different."

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Egyptian scientists: ‘Mosquitos’ Just Israeli DNA-Harvesting Tech To Make New Pathogens, Weapons (PreOccupied Territory)

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mosquito Cairo, October 20 - Egyptian scientists claimed today to have blown the lid off a longtime operation through which Zionists have conducted a clandestine project to gather, process, and exploit Arab genetic material in the development and manufacture of terrible warfare methods to use against Palestinians and other enemies: miniature drones that look and act like a stinging insect but no such insect exists in nature.

Entomologists at the University of Cairo announced today that they have confirmed a hypothesis several researchers posited years ago, namely that the Anopheles mosquito, the most common variety that collects blood from humans, emerged not millions of years ago through natural evolution, but at most several centuries ago through the vile machinations of a Jewish laboratory cabal bent on suppressing, controlling, and eliminating the native Arab population of the Levant in an effort to displace them.

"We've finally been able to confirm one of our leading theories," declared lead researcher Dr. Daoud Trustmi. "It turns out that there are literally hundreds of species of mosquito, almost none of which take blood from humans. But we're supposed to believe there's this tiny handful of them that just happens to like human blood, when literally hundreds of millions of other animals are out there, and in much greater numbers? Sus."

"We knew there was something wrong with the way everyone just assumed human-attracted mosquitos were a natural thing," he continued. "So we applied one of the tried-and-true methods of virtuous crusaders - pardon the loaded term - for truth that most people dismiss as crackpots: qui bono? Who stands to benefit? Since Zionists stand to benefit from such a scheme, that must be proof of its existence. the same flawless logic stands at the foundation of everything we know about 9-11, for example."

Dr. Trustmi acknowledged the clever propaganda move by Zionists of the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries in planting trees to drain the malaria-infested swamps of Palestine. "They got everyone thinking they were opposed to mosquito-borne diseases and such," he explained. "But the whole time it was all a ruse to get us all to let our guard down. Who would suspect the very people who eliminated so many mosquito-borne pathogens of using mosquitos to further their imperialistic designs?"

The research team offered a hat tip to American activists fighting an uphill battle to convince the public that birds do not exist anymore, having been replaced over the last century by government drones to spy on the populace.

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Man Who Plans Fringe Party 'Protest' Vote Talks Up Nonexistent Impact It Will Have (PreOccupied Territory)

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Israeli ballot Jerusalem, October 7 - A voter who finds that none of the parties likely to garner enough votes in Israel's next parliamentary elections dovetail with his political and social agenda voiced his intention again today to cast a ballot for one of the alternative lists that stand no chance of meeting the electoral threshold, a move he describes as "a statement" and "a protest against the corrupt people who control the system," and believes, against all evidence, that the statement or protest will somehow make a discernible difference.

Guy Shoham, 30, informed relatives, coworkers, and friends at multiple points over the last several months of his plan to vote for one of the small, special-interest parties that stand no chance of meeting the electoral threshold, a figure that sits in the tens of thousands. He has told anyone listening, and several more who were not, that he has had it "up to here" with the established political parties, the cookie-cutter way in which politicians attempt to attract votes, the consistent triumph of form over substance, and the system's chronic cowardice to address the core challenges that Israel faces. The best way to effect change, he has argued, involves voting for one of the fringe parties that no sane oddsmaker sees reaching the threshold, instead of giving one's precious vote to parties that will continue to favor their careers and positions over the long-term public good.

"It's the right thing to do," insisted Shoham. "Only if I vote out of the box will the powers that be get the message that I'm not interested in their games or self-contradictory agendas. Only by taking completely futile measures that no one of any consequence will even notice, let alone respect, can I hope to convey my frustration and disappointment to them."

In previous elections, Shoham has preferred the strategy of placing a blank ballot in the envelope, signaling his distaste for any of the parties registered for that contest. In the interim, however, he acknowledges what he calls a maturation of sorts. "I can't just say nothing when my voice gets a personal invitation to speak," he admitted. "So I bit the bullet, ideologically, and this time around I've found at least two parties with narrow enough areas of concern to match my own sensibilities, and I'm prepared for the complexities of one of those parties making into the Knesset, the compromises that might be necessary elsewhere, ideologically speaking, to get those issue areas addressed. Let's see what happens when the Legalize Prostitution Party falls only 27,000 votes short of the threshold."

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Man Who Won't Hire Visibly-Religious Jews Blames Them For Not Working (PreOccupied Territory)

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Borough Park family New York, September 29 - A business owner with a bias against employing Haredim also accuses Haredim of living off welfare at the expense of the taxpayer instead of getting jobs, associates of the entrepreneur reported today.

Joseph Corell, 40, of Brooklyn's Midwood neighborhood, has on more than one occasion refused to hire any Jew who adheres to the dress code of the "ultra-orthodox" community, sources indicate, while blaming the same group for miring the next generation in poverty by not working or pursuing education outside traditional Jewish content.

"Parasites," Corell was heard to mutter after rereading a New York Times article on the alleged academic underperformance of certain Hasidic schools. Corell has turned down six Hasidic and "yeshivish" orthodox jobseekers at his air conditioning repair business in the last four years, despite the advertised position requiting no prior training, education, or professional experience, instead waiting until other candidates applied.

The phenomenon recurred this week, a subordinate reported, when the boss faked his absence from the office after a yeshiva alumnus entered to apply for an assistant technician position. Ten minutes after the Haredi Jew departed, Corell reemerged from the kitchenette where he had been hiding and greeted another applicant with no high school diploma or equivalency exam, whom he hired immediately.

"I don't care if you don't have a degree," he stated. "At least you're not a lazy good-for-nothing welfare queen who wants the state to pay for your kids' religious indoctrination. Why won't those people just get a job?"

Subordinates note that in each case of refusing to hire the religious Jew, Corell had a plausible pretext: feigning unawareness of the applicant; "losing" the candidate's contact information; pretending a different applicant came earlier; or making excuses about passing a drug test first, which, while required by city and state regulations, Corell never demands of other applicants, while in the meantime waiting for other candidates to apply and take the job.

Casual conversations with the business owner also featured assumptions on his part that unprovoked assaults on visibly-Jewish residents of the city over the last several years, many of which have been captured on video, must have involved the victims inviting the attacks somehow, despite the footage showing no such impetus. "I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and not jump to conclusions about them just based on what I see, because you can't always trust your eyes," he explained.

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'Mosquitos' Just Israeli DNA-Harvesting Tech To Make New Pathogens, Weapons

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mosquito Cairo, September 22 - Egyptian scientists claimed today to have blown the lid off a longtime operation through which Zionists have conducted a clandestine project to gather, process, and exploit Arab genetic material in the development and manufacture of terrible warfare methods to use against Palestinians and other enemies: miniature drones that look and act like a stinging insect but no such insect exists in nature.

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Only Possible Conclusion From Unpopularity Of Party's Ideas: Voters Stupid (PreOccupied Territory)

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Tel Aviv, September 15 - A political faction struggling to approach, let alone restore, the legislative clout it held more than twenty years ago has followed the evidence to the only tenable explanation for its collapse in the interim: the electorate hasn't the intelligence necessary to cast the correct ballot and return the faction to its former glory.

A series of surveys commissioned by the far-left Meretz Party found less than a twentieth of the electorate will consider voting for the party in the November 1 Knesset elections, a dramatic erosion of the kingmaker status it held in the 1990's and early 2000's when it commanded double-digit seats in the 120-member legislature. Meretz has failed to garner more than six seats - in 2009 dropping as low as three - in almost twenty years, as Israelis' confidence in the party's insistence on generous concessions to the Palestinians even as the latter killed more than a thousand Israelis in bombings and other terrorist attacks. Meretz leadership, however, has reached the unavoidable conclusion that democracy is imperiled because the electorate refuses to vote Meretz, a clear indication that the electorate lacks the mental capacity to make important decisions for itself.

"Essentially, the people are wrong for thinking Palestinians trying to kill us means we shouldn't give Palestinians greater capacity to kill us," explained Chairwoman Zahava Gal-On, who came out of retirement to win internal party elections last month; the most optimistic polls foresee Meretz earning up to five seats in November, and Ms. Gal-On's return energized a party that previous polling showed might not meet the electoral threshold for Knesset representation at all.

"Our position has always been so manifestly correct that only ignorance or malice can adequately account for anyone selecting a different party's ballot," added Nitzan Horowitz, currently the Minister of Health. "The problem is, that obvious truth conflicts with a cardinal principle of democracy, which we purport to protect. What happens when voters get so stupid, and for so long, that our vision for the country's future recedes so far into unpopularity that it becomes not only irrelevant, but a sick joke? I think we know the answer, which has been tried numerous times over the last century, though with varying degrees of success: somehow seize and exercise power, by what might technically be considered undemocratic means, such as appointees in key positions in the judicial and prosecutorial system, say, while all the time claiming our measures are necessary to protect a democracy under assault from the benighted fascists of Likud, Ben-Gvir, and anyone to the right of Lenin."

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Quick, Find A New Alarmist Buzzword To Call Israel - 'Apartheid' Isn't Working by Linda Sarsour (PreOccupied Territory)

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Quick, Find A New Alarmist Buzzword To Call Israel - 'Apartheid' Isn't Working

by Linda Sarsour

Linda Sarsour New York, September 8 - I just returned from a solidarity visit to our Palestinian brethren under occupation, and I have both good news and bad news. The good news: our brothers and sisters facing the brutal colonialist policies of Zionism expressed as much resolve as ever when it comes to demanding historical justice. The bad news: few important-enough people and entities seem to care, and the ever-evolving list of charged epithets we throw at the Zionists seems to be losing whatever power it once had, including what many of us considered a carefully-crafted ace-in-the-hole, using a single word to paint the Jewish State as just another incarnation of white-minority-ruled South Africa. But even that rhetorical trick has produced disappointing results, and we desperately need new epithets to play on gullible Western emotions, ignorance, and knee-jerk antisemitism if we are to keep Palestine on the front page and in the trending topics.

Simpleminded activists might feel tempted to attribute the fizzling of the "Apartheid!" label to sinister (((Zionist))) manipulation or media, or suppression of the accusations. But an honest look at media reveals no shortage of mainstream outlets willing to legitimize the term as referring to Israel, especially since Amnesty International worked so hard to develop a redefinition of the term to apply only to Israel. All that hard work amounting to... not much, in terms of policy outcomes, will prompt some to imagine dark forces at play, but we mustn't rush into that mentality when more mundane factors explain the failure.

Chief among them: rhetorical fatigue. The fact that we've been yelling ourselves hoarse over so many spurious "massacres" by Israel might, just might, have eroded our credibility. Our tendency to call everything associated with Jewish sovereignty and security "Nazism" has diluted the impact of our work.

It also doesn't help that we call for boycotting, divesting, and sanctioning Israel, while registering no notable successes and quite a few embarrassing instances of hypocrisy on our part. For example, I was just there, enjoying places where Jews and Arabs live under Israeli rule more or less peacefully. Certainly more peaceful than the streets of Brooklyn. Who knows how many of us use Wix as the backbone of our websites? And don't even get me started on the technology that runs our smartphones and computers. If we don't take our demands and rhetoric seriously, how can we expect anyone else to?

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go hijack a progressive movement and make it about Palestine, thus running it into the ground.

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All Culture To Be Transformed Into Amorphous Blobs To Avoid Offending, Triggering (PreOccupied Territory)

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blob New York, September 1 - Museums, schools, libraries, and other repositories of the collective wisdom and artistic-intellectual output of the preceding generations have embarked on a program to render all such materials into indistinct, vague masses lest anyone experience negative emotional responses to an encounter with anything resembling an assertion.

Leading cultural institutions resolved this week to protect the fragile psyches of humans by turning all textual, visual, tactile, and acoustic media into blobs of undiscernible nothingness, in keeping with the burgeoning trend of avoiding offense wherever and however possible. Representatives of the institutions announced the initiative following an incident last week in which a visitor to the Metropolitan Museum of Art called all attempts to examine, study, learn from, analyze, or explain anything that came from another culture "exploitation" and "appropriation." The complaint prompted museum officials and colleagues throughout the cultural and academic world to "do better" by removing all content that could insult, or be interpreted to insult, marginalized communities.

"Our entire collection or objets d'art excludes the visually-impaired," observed Neffer Gudenov, a curator at the Met. "So we're going to get rid of it all. I understand that the New York Philharmonic will now only perform or commission works that contain no audible notes, so as not to violate the sensibilities and sensitivities of the hearing-impaired. This is a welcome change in the cultural world, a long time in coming."

The New York Times will eliminate its print and online presence, except the braille edition, an editorial announced Thursday. "We will begin to phase out our visual media - articles, photos, caricature, illustrations, advertisements, anything visual," the editorial stated. "For too long, the literate and seeing demographics have, ironically, not seen those among us who cannot see or read. Even the braille edition will come to an end by mid-2023, since the use of braille requires literacy, and that discriminate against the literacy-impaired."

The Museum of Modern Art considers itself ahead of the curve on this cultural matter. "Art went conceptual ages ago," explained Putin Yuan, a docent at MOMA. "Even some of our visual exhibits only exist temporarily, by design. We're uniquely placed to lead this evolution of empathy."

Activists hope the phenomenon expands beyond cultural output. "We can eliminate uniqueness of shape, style, color, comfort, or any indications of difference from, from example, cars," suggested one activist. "It's hurtful to the have-nots when someone else can afford more than they can, and seeing such a car, or hearing an ad for it, or somebody mentioning it, causes trauma. I don't even need to mention the exclusion of color-blind folx. If things go according to plan, we can live in a society of total equality where no one lives in an easier-to-find or easier-to-reach place than anyone else, and no one has any reason to live more than anyone else."

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