Thursday, March 30, 2023

Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory.

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Tel Aviv, March 30 - Weeks of protests against the Israeli government's proposal to overhaul the country's judicial system have left their neighbors baffled, especially the ones under the rule of Fatah and Hamas, with specific lack of comprehension regarding the absence or near-absence of violence at the numerous well-attended rallies.

Palestinians across the political and demographic spectrum voiced their bewilderment today after repeated, vehement demonstrations against the proposal resulted yesterday in Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu announcing the postponement of the process until at least June, with negotiations to take place in the interim over what changes, if any, to make to the plan. The lack of vehicular assaults, stabbings, Molotov cocktails, shootings, firebomb balloons, stones, bricks, and other features of Palestinian protests has left that group wondering how the Israeli protesters managed to achieve results without resorting to any of those familiar tactics.

"Am I missing something?" wondered Nimr Halabi of Nablus. "With no violent unrest, there's no hope for change. That's just how I know it works. Our entire society is based on that assumption. So I think what's really happening is either it's all a big show and it's all fake, with the Jews manipulating everyone into thinking that's what happened, without violence, or, and I think this one's a little more likely, the Jews control all the media, and the media simply didn't show the violence that we know had to happen, because without violence there's no political change. There was political change, ergo, violence preceded it, and probably happens afterwards, too, but the Zionist-controlled media won't show it."

"There are usually individual clips that come out even with the Jewish control though," argued Fatima Qawasme of Hebron. "And I don't mean the ones that come from other places that our supporters relabel as 'Palestine' to make Israel look evil. I mean there's no such thing as one hundred percent media control, or we'd never know that there's Jewish control of the media. But there's nothing in this case. It's scary to think, if what we're seeing is the whole story, that change is possible without killing people - that change is possible without killing some Jews. That would undermine everything we live and die for here."

Palestinian leaders in both the Gaza Strip and the West Bank took pains to assure the Palestinian public that in their case, any change of leadership would require violence, and would lead to violence in the aftermath of any such change.




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