Sunday, March 16, 2014

  • Sunday, March 16, 2014
  • Elder of Ziyon
Achashtranim News Sevice (ANS) SHUSHAN - Secretary of State John Kerry is preparing to return to the Persian Empire to defuse the escalating tensions between the Jews and the Amalekites in that Middle Eastern kingdom.

Secretary Kerry thought that he had a framework agreement hammered out between the two parties, including that Jews should be allowed to live "freely and peacefully in the Empire." But Parshandata, spokesman for the Amalekites, refused this condition, saying "International law is on our side."

"The King specifically passed a decree saying, and I quote, 'to cause to perish, all Jews, both young and old, little children and women, in one day, on the thirteenth day of the twelfth month, which is the month of Adar, and to take the spoil of them for a prey.' The UN and international laws upholds the right of kingdoms to make up their own decrees and to enforce them, This is a local Persian issue and there is no reason for Secretary Kerry to get involved."

Mordechai, a Jewish activist from Shushan, disagrees. "The Amalekites and Agagites are suggesting no less than genocide against an entire people," he said, as he led a small protest outside the King's gates wearing sackcloth and ashes in a media stunt..

Parshandata vehemently denies Mordechai's statement. "There is no such thing as a Jewish people. The idea of Jewish peoplehood is incompatible with the facts of history. They are nothing but criminals, and they have no right to live freely and peacefully."

Mordechai, the Jewish leader, continues to insist this language be included.

Aridata, an Agagite leader and head of the "Brutally Decapitate Semites" (BDS) movement, charged that the Jews were poised to take over the entire kingdom and must be utterly destroyed. While sharpening his sword, he stated, "They already illegally occupy the capital, and many other cities and villages have gathering places where they get together and scheme to dominate everyone else. I hear rumors that there is a Monica Lewinsky situation going on in the King's palace itself, and that the king is being held hostage by a Jewish woman who is blackmailing him!"

Secretary Kerry, not wanting to upset either of the parties in this delicate time for negotiations, and showing frustration that his plan could unravel without an agreement, backtracked on the "live freely and peacefully" condition. He told Congress this week that insisting on the "freely and peacefully" language would be a "mistake for some people to be, you know, raising it again and again as the critical decider." However, in a move that may upset the Amalekites, Kerry insisted that the United States does not want to see the Jews "perish" on the 13th of Adar. "We would strongly protest any mass murder, if it comes to that," Kerry said.

Amnesty International refused to take any sides in the matter. Deborah Hyams, Amnesty researcher on Middle East issues, said, "We are of course against genocide, but the Amalekites have a point when they say that Jews are not a people and killing them all would not constitute 'genocide'. Also, the language of the decree does not sanction mass murder explicitly, but only 'to cause to perish,' which may mean to allow Jews to have the human rights to kill themselves if they so choose.

"We have more important issues to deal with, such as the illegal building of Jewish homes in Judea by the minority who remain there illegally after their alleged Temple was destroyed."

(expanded from an idea by Soccer Dad with his permission)


EoZTV Podcast

Podcast URL

Subscribe in podnovaSubscribe with FeedlyAdd to netvibes
addtomyyahoo4Subscribe with SubToMe

search eoz





For $18 donation

Sample Text

EoZ's Most Popular Posts in recent years


Elder of Ziyon - حـكـيـم صـهـيـون

This blog may be a labor of love for me, but it takes a lot of effort, time and money. For over 14 years and 30,000 articles I have been providing accurate, original news that would have remained unnoticed. I've written hundreds of scoops and sometimes my reporting ends up making a real difference. I appreciate any donations you can give to keep this blog going.


Donate to fight for Israel!

Monthly subscription:
Payment options

One time donation:

subscribe via email

Follow EoZ on Twitter!

Interesting Blogs


#PayForSlay Abbas liar Academic fraud administrivia al-Qaeda algeria Alice Walker American Jews AmericanZionism Amnesty analysis anti-semitism anti-Zionism antisemitism apartheid Arab antisemitism arab refugees Arafat archaeology Ari Fuld art Ashrawi ASHREI B'tselem bahrain Balfour bbc BDS BDSFail Bedouin Beitunia beoz Bernie Sanders Biden history Birthright book review Brant Rosen breaking the silence Campus antisemitism Cardozo cartoon of the day Chakindas Chanukah Christians circumcision Clark Kent coexistence Comix Community Standards conspiracy theories COVID-19 Cyprus Daled Amos Daphne Anson David Applebaum Davis report DCI-P Divest This double standards Egypt Elder gets results ElderToons Electronic Intifada Ellen Horowitz Embassy EoZ Trump symposium eoz-symposium EoZNews eoztv Erekat Erekat lung transplant EU Euro-Mid Observer European antisemitism Facebook Facebook jail Fake Civilians 2014 Fake Civilians 2019 Farrakhan Fatah featured Features fisking flotilla Forest Rain Forward free gaza freedom of press palestinian style future martyr Gary Spedding gaza Gaza Platform George Galloway George Soros German Jewry Ghassan Daghlas gideon levy gilad shalit gisha Goldstone Report Good news Grapel Guardian guest post gunness Haaretz Hadassah hamas Hamas war crimes Hananya Naftali hasbara Hasby 2014 Hasby 2016 Hasby 2018 hate speech Hebron helen thomas hezbollah history Hizballah Holocaust Holocaust denial honor killing HRW Human Rights Humanitarian crisis humor Hypocrisy ICRC IDF IfNotNow IJ Benjamin Ilan Pappe Ilhan Omar impossible peace incitement indigenous Indonesia infographic international law interview intransigence iran Iraq Islamic Judeophobia Islamism Israel Loves America Israeli culture Israeli high-tech J Street jabalya James Zogby jeremy bowen Jerusalem jewish fiction Jewish Voice for Peace jihad jimmy carter Joe Biden John Kerry jokes jonathan cook Jordan Joseph Massad Juan Cole Judaism Judea-Samaria Judean Rose Judith Butler Kairos Karl Vick Keith Ellison ken roth khalid amayreh Khaybar Know How to Answer Lebanon leftists Linda Sarsour Linkdump lumish mahmoud zahar Mairav Zonszein Malaysia Marc Lamont Hill Marjorie Taylor Greene max blumenthal Mazen Adi McGraw-Hill media bias Methodist Michael Lynk Michael Ross Miftah Missionaries moderate Islam Mohammed Assaf Mondoweiss moonbats Morocco Mudar Zahran music Muslim Brotherhood Naftali Bennett Nakba Nan Greer Nation of Islam Natural gas Nazi Netanyahu News nftp NGO Nick Cannon NIF Noah Phillips norpac NSU Matrix NYT Occupation offbeat olive oil Omar Barghouti Omri Boehm Only in Israel Opinion oxfam PA corruption PalArab lies Palestine Papers pallywood pchr PCUSA Peace Now Peter Beinart Petra MB philosophy poetry Poland poll Poster Preoccupied Prisoners propaganda Proud to be Zionist Puar Purim purimshpiel Putin Qaradawi Qassam calendar Quora Rafah Ray Hanania real liberals RealJerusalemStreets reference Reuters Richard Falk Richard Landes Richard Silverstein Right of return Rivkah Lambert Adler Robert Werdine rogel alpher roger cohen roger waters Rutgers Saeb Erekat Sarah Schulman Saudi Arabia saudi vice self-death self-death palestinians Seth Rogen settlements sex crimes SFSU shechita sheikh tamimi Shelly Yachimovich Shujaiyeh Simchat Torah Simona Sharoni SodaStream South Africa Sovereignty Speech stamps Superman Syria Tarabin Temple Mount Terrorism This is Zionism Thomas Friedman Tlaib TOI Tomer Ilan Trump Trump Lame Duck Test Tunisia Turkey UAE Accord UCI UK UN UNDP unesco unhrc UNICEF United Arab Emirates Unity unrwa UNRWA hate unrwa reports UNRWA-USA unwra vaccination Varda Vic Rosenthal Washington wikileaks Winstanley work accident X-washing Y. Ben-David Yemen YMikarov zahran Ziesel zionist attack zoo Zionophobia Ziophobia Zvi

Blog Archive