Thursday, June 20, 2019

Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory


Check out their Facebook page.

atomic bombTehran, June 20 - A Middle East country whose military and agents maintain a long-running policy of international terrorism, mining shipping in international waters, shooting down aircraft outside its airspace, and pursuing nuclear weapons technology it can mount on ballistic missiles, dismissed accusations today that it pursues anything but a future of warm, conflict-free coexistence in the region.

Officials in the Islamic Republic of Iran poo-pooed American and other Western accusations today that its attack on an American surveillance drone yesterday and on two oil tankers last week, in addition to its overall status as the leading state sponsor of terrorism in the world, indicates it does not desire peace. At a press conference in the capital, Minister of Foreign Affairs Javad Zarif called such charges baseless, and characterized them as but the latest in ongoing American aggression and colonialism.

"What we do with medium-range missiles armed with atomic warheads is our business, and no one else's," proclaimed Zarif. "It is not up to the imperialists and Zionists of Washington and Jeru- I mean, Tel Aviv to determine the status of our research and testing. We even accepted a treaty under Obama that curtails our nuclear development such that, if we were to abide by its terms, it would take us as much as a few more years than otherwise to acquire the capacity to wipe out every Jew in the Zionist Entity. And quite a few Arabs, but no one cares about them when it's not Israel hurting them."

The foreign minister of the country bankrolling and arming Hezbollah, Hamas, the Houthis, and numerous other Islamist militant groups in Lebanon, Syria, the Palestinian Territories, Yemen, Iraq, Afghanistan, and elsewhere, in addition to targeting Jewish and Israeli interests from Bulgaria to Argentina, declared its commitment to managing conflict without violence. "It is the Great Satan and Little Satan who seek war," insisted Zarif, referring to the US and Israel, respectively.

Facilitating Bashir Assad's ethnic cleansing and wholesale slaughter of his own people in Syria will promote peace, added Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps commander Qassem Solemaini. "Our organization's mission is a peaceful one," he intoned. "Prosecuting the wars in Yemen, Syria, Afghanistan, and Palestine is a serious peaceful endeavor, and we do not appreciate, to put it mildly, when our peaceful intentions are called into question by parties that would rather not see us dominate the region and control multiple puppet regimes to serve our interests."



We have lots of ideas, but we need more resources to be even more effective. Please donate today to help get the message out and to help defend Israel.

EoZTV Podcast

Podcast URL

Subscribe in podnovaSubscribe with FeedlyAdd to netvibes
addtomyyahoo4Subscribe with SubToMe

Support EoZ by shopping!

search eoz

comments

Speaking

follow me

Follow by Email

translate

Share on Whatsapp


E-Book

For $18 donation








Sample Text

EoZ's Most Popular Posts in recent years

Hasbys!

Elder of Ziyon - حـكـيـم صـهـيـون



This blog may be a labor of love for me, but it takes a lot of effort, time and money. For over 14 years and 30,000 articles I have been providing accurate, original news that would have remained unnoticed. I've written hundreds of scoops and sometimes my reporting ends up making a real difference. I appreciate any donations you can give to keep this blog going.

Donate!

Donate to fight for Israel!

Monthly subscription:
Payment options


One time donation:

subscribe via email

Follow EoZ on Twitter!

Tweets

Interesting Blogs

Categories

Abbas liar Academic fraud administrivia al-Qaeda algeria Alice Walker American Jews Amnesty analysis anti-semitism antisemitism apartheid Arab antisemitism arab refugees Arafat archaeology Ari Fuld art ASHREI B'tselem bahrain Balfour bbc BDS BDSFail Bedouin Beitunia beoz Birthright book review Brant Rosen breaking the silence Campus antisemitism Cardozo cartoon of the day Chakindas Chanukah Christians circumcision Clark Kent coexistence Community Standards conspiracy theories Cyprus Daled Amos Daphne Anson David Applebaum Davis report DCI-P Divest This double standards Egypt Elder gets results ElderToons Electronic Intifada Embassy EoZ Trump symposium eoz-symposium EoZNews eoztv Erekat Erekat lung transplant EU Euro-Mid Observer European antisemitism Facebook jail Fake Civilians 2014 Fake Civilians 2019 Farrakhan Fatah featured Features fisking flotilla Forest Rain Forward free gaza freedom of press palestinian style future martyr Gary Spedding gaza Gaza Platform George Galloway George Soros German Jewry gideon levy gilad shalit gisha Goldstone Report Good news Grapel Guardian guest post gunness Haaretz Hadassah hamas Hamas war crimes Hananya Naftali hasbara Hasby 2014 Hasby 2016 Hasby 2018 hate speech Hebron helen thomas hezbollah history Hizballah Holocaust Holocaust denial honor killing HRW Human Rights Humanitarian crisis humor huor Hypocrisy ICRC IDF IfNotNow Ilan Pappe Ilhan Omar impossible peace incitement indigenous Indonesia international law intransigence iran Iraq Islamic Judeophobia Islamism Israel Loves America Israeli culture Israeli high-tech J Street jabalya jeremy bowen Jerusalem jewish fiction Jewish Voice for Peace jihad jimmy carter John Kerry jokes jonathan cook Jordan Joseph Massad Juan Cole Judaism Judea-Samaria Judean Rose Kairos Karl Vick Keith Ellison ken roth khalid amayreh Khaybar Know How to Answer Lebanon leftists Linda Sarsour Linkdump lumish mahmoud zahar Malaysia max blumenthal Mazen Adi McGraw-Hill media bias Methodist Michael Ross Miftah Missionaries moderate Islam Mohammed Assaf Mondoweiss moonbats Morocco Mudar Zahran music Muslim Brotherhood Naftali Bennett Nakba Nan Greer Nation of Islam Natural gas Nazi Netanyahu News nftp NGO NIF Noah Phillips norpac NYT Occupation offbeat Omar Barghouti Only in Israel Opinion oxfam PA corruption PalArab lies Palestine Papers pallywood pchr PCUSA Peace Now Peter Beinart Petra MB poetry Poland poll Poster Preoccupied Prisoners propaganda Proud to be Zionist Puar Purim purimshpiel Putin Qaradawi Qassam calendar Quora Rafah Ray Hanania real liberals reference Reuters Richard Falk Richard Silverstein Right of return Rivkah Lambert Adler Robert Werdine rogel alpher roger cohen roger waters Rutgers Saeb Erekat Sarah Schulman Saudi Arabia saudi vice self-death self-death palestinians settlements sex crimes SFSU shechita sheikh tamimi Shelly Yachimovich Shujaiyeh Simchat Torah Simona Sharoni SodaStream South Africa Speech stamps Superman Syria Tarabin Temple Mount Terrorism This is Zionism Thomas Friedman TOI Tomer Ilan Trump Tunisia Turkey UCI UK UN UNDP unesco unhrc UNICEF United Arab Emirates Unity unrwa UNRWA hate unrwa reports UNRWA-USA unwra Varda Vic Rosenthal Washington wikileaks work accident X-washing Y. Ben-David Yemen YMikarov zahran Ziesel zionist attack zoo Zvi

Blog Archive