Showing posts with label Preoccupied. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Preoccupied. Show all posts

Thursday, July 03, 2025

Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory.

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Desperate Pro-Hamas Propagandists Resort To Looney Tunes Clips As Evidence Of IDF Atrocities  

Gaza City, July 3 - The failure to date of online activists and Pallywood content creators to sway the right decision-makers into forcing Israel to stop its creeping takeover of the Gaza Strip to neutralize Islamist terrorists and secure the release of hostages in those terrorists' hands since October 2023 have changed tactics, no longer relying solely on badly-acted, over-the-top fake videos to libel the Israeli military; now they have added to their content production animated shorts lifted from classic cartoons and other productions, recaptioned in the hopes that viewers will accept that, for example, Wile E. Coyote works for the IDF and paints realistic holes on walls into which Palestinian children then crash their bicycles.

Online observers began noticing the trend last week. "It seems to be just a logical extension of some of the cartoonish accusations they fling at Israel," explained media commentator Hugh Shiddenme. "It began subtly, with simple fabrications of atrocities, such as targeting hospitals, massacring people gathered for humanitarian aid, that kind of thing. But that wasn't working, so the propagandists felt forced to produce more outlandish accusations. Thus, just in the last couple of weeks, allegations that Israel was poisoning flour delivered to Gaza by putting in opioid pills. There were even photo of pills surrounded by flour. Hey, if THAT doesn't convince you..."

"Well," he continued, the accusers neglected to consider that any poisoner worth his salt would have ground up the pills into the flour. But the caricature they have of Jews and Israelis shuts down any critical thinking. It wasn't much more of a logical leap to the next accusation to make the rounds, that of Israel baiting Gazans with packages of sugar in shallow depressions, then burying anyone who took the bait, using armored bulldozers. Because, you know, the most efficient way to kill a nation - this is supposed to be a genocide, right? - is Rube Goldberg setups. From there, Looney Tunes clips are the next logical step, because it provides actual video, uh, evidence, of what the Hamas fans have been saying."

The new tactic has yet to yield significant results, activists acknowledge, though no detailed examination of public opinion has compared the "before" and "after" figures. Experts cautioned that rampant antisemitism around the world seems not to have any direct correlation with the quality or volume of the video productions in question.

The activists explained that skepticism of the Looney Tunes documentary evidence only proves you're a Zionist and a genocide supporter.





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Thursday, June 26, 2025


Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory.

Check out their Facebook  and  Substack pages.


Beirut, June 26 - The Islamist Shiite militia that once exercised effective control of Lebanon on behalf of its masters in Tehran continue to suffer financial woes, observers reported today, as not only have infusions of cash and equipment from Iran almost disappeared in the last year, but the organization's own revenue-generating enterprise of trafficking in the drug copium has suffered as well, given the group's desperation for a substance that will help them stay committed amidst absolute Israeli dominance of the battle space and the shattering of any illusions that they can even remain relevant in postwar Lebanon, let alone give Israel anything more than a pathetic fight.

Hezbollah's drug-selling operations have, until recently, provided significant funding tor the group's operations and "social services" to loyalists in Lebanon, as well as its violent activities targeting both Israel and Lebanese dissenters. But with the rapid collapse of Iran's proxies and the decimation of its own military and nuclear capabilities by Israel and the United States, Hezbollah - once Iran's most powerful proxy and the most serious threat to Israel until the laughably one-sided Israeli victory against them last year - must now use its own supply of copium instead of exporting it. The unavailability of copium for export deprives Hezbollah of critical revenue to fund its other existential "resistance" functions.

Hezbollah members and supporters have consumed copium in large quantities since "Operation Grim Beeper" last year when Israel detonated the group's pagers, which had been bought specifically to bypass advanced Israeli espionage tech - except that the company that sold the devices was an Israeli front. The resulting carnage crippled Hezbollah's senior and mid-level chains of command and rendered them unable to carry out any significant operations except for launching rockets at Israeli towns - and resulting eventually in a humiliating ceasefire agreement that demanded Hezbollah withdraw its forces away from regions bordering Israel. In the meantime, Israel repeatedly decapitated the organization's leadership in airstrikes and precise intelligence showcasing how thoroughly the Jewish State had penetrated it.

Hezbollah's collapse led in turn to the fall of Syrian dictator Basher Assad, another Iran client, whose successor has cracked down on Iranian supply to Hezbollah, further weakening the Shiite militia. During the most recent Iran-Israel war, Hezbollah refused an order by Tehran to attack Israel, fearing its own complete destruction. These and other disastrous developments for the Axis of Resistance - including the smashing of Hamas and Islamic Jihad in the Gaza Strip - have sent domestic demand for copium skyrocketing and leaving none for export.

Hezbollah supporters on US college campuses assured a reporter it was all part of a plan to lull Israel into complacency and destroy it, which would work this time, unlike the other thirteen times it failed.



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Friday, June 06, 2025

Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory.

Check out their Facebook  and  Substack pages.


Jerusalem, June 6 - The author of a profound, dark Biblical philosophical work admitted today that he made painful compromises in the composition of his signature work, chief among them a choice of wording that, while necessary to preserve readability and poetic rhythm, fails to convey the full force of uselessness that could have been carried instead by invoking people speechifying in Israel's parliament.

King Solomon, one of whose masterpieces includes the book of Ecclesiastes, with its famous refrain, "All is futility" - rendered in more archaic translations as "vanity" - lamented the necessity he felt in writing the book to sacrifice evocative depth for the sake of readability. Specifically, he pointed to the opening rhetorical salvo, havel havalim, "Futility of futilities," as an excellent, alliterative, memorable phrase that nevertheless falls short in evocative force compared to the imagery Solomon aimed to use, but "Knesset bloviations of Knesset bloviations" rolls off the tongue or quill with a distinct lack of smoothness.

"It's a shame," the king reflected. "All growth and creation in this world involve sacrifice and pain. You would know that if you studied my book, which extensively explores the phenomenon."

He then turned circumspect. "I should have expected things not to turn out perfect," he acknowledged. "Considering the focus of this book is an extended reflection on how nothing good ever lasts, and that even good things go unappreciated, so just relish the quotidian, precious little things if you want joy, however fleeting it may be, well - expecting a different outcome calls to mind someone foolish enough to keep electing corrupt narcissists to Knesset and then expressing disgust at the results."

The futility of politics gets no specific or deep treatment in Ecclesiastes, but Solomon's father David had his own documented encounter with politics complex enough for insanity to become relevant: when fleeing King Saul, David sought refuge in the Philistine city-state of Gath - when the Philistines had no affection for any Israelites, let alone the very man who had given them so much trouble in battle. David therefore drooled and wrote nonsense on the walls, prompting King Akhish to lambaste his men: "Do I lack lunatics that you bring this one to me as well?!"

"I couldn't be that explicitly sardonic in a hoity-toity philosophical work," he conceded. "Certainly not one that I composed with divine inspiration. A prophet chastising the people can get vicious and sarcastic. Not me. But I can point to a few legislators who could give the prophets a lesson or two on that kind of rhetoric."




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"He's an Anti-Zionist Too!" cartoon book (December 2024)

PROTOCOLS: Exposing Modern Antisemitism (February 2022)

   
 

 

Thursday, May 29, 2025

Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory.

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Washington, May 29 - Jew-hating opponents of the sitting US President have found themselves facing a dilemma over the last several weeks, activists acknowledged today, now that the chief executive has chosen as a target the film industry, a bastion symbolic to them of the very people they purport to exert malignant control over that industry, placing those Jew-haters on the same side of an issue as the hated president.

Advocates of conspiracy theories that allege Jewish domination of Hollywood who also despise Donald Trump must now decide which of those enemies they see as more dangerous: whether to seize the opportunity to speak up in defense of an industry that actually pushes the progressive agenda effectively, or to exploit Trump's criticism to score points against the Jews.

The activists gave token acknowledgement to the existence of a third possibility: to say nothing. Staying quiet, however, has never represented a serious course of action in their behavior.

"Structurally, it's a familiar dilemma for anyone who dislikes Trump," explained Whoopi Goldberg, who by her own admission changed her birth name Caryn Elaine Johnson to sound more Jewish as a way to, she thought, give her better entrée in the entertainment industry. "He often gets us on the left to reflexively yell our opposition to whatever he's pushing, and that's gotten us in to some uncomfortable places: defending criminals, rapists, and violent thugs just because Trump doesn't like them. Voters see that, and we're unable to take advantage of his unpopularity because our reactions make us look like the crazy ones."

"Well, I'm not so sure about what to do now," Goldberg continued. "On one hand, it looks like there's a rising tide of legitimacy for opposition to Jews, which doesn't happen every decade in America. On the other, we've talked up the existential fascist threat of Trump so much that to suddenly agree with him seems not only jarringly out of character; it makes us look like hypocrites. I mean, that's par for the course in our line of work, but it's just more glaring this time."

The challenge, explained podcaster Hasan Piker, lies in the pattern: Trump has a knack for zeroing in on "eighty-twenty" issues, issues firmly in the American electorate's consensus, and taking a proud stance on the side of the eighty percent - and the Democrats and Democratic Party allies follow their knee-jerk reaction: characterizing as evil and destructive whatever the hated Trump supports, establishing them by default in the minority and keeping their poll numbers even lower than Trump's abysmal ratings.

"It's the Jews' fault this is happening, obviously," realized Piker.



Buy EoZ's books  on Amazon!

"He's an Anti-Zionist Too!" cartoon book (December 2024)

PROTOCOLS: Exposing Modern Antisemitism (February 2022)

   
 

 

Thursday, May 22, 2025

Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory.

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Jerusalem, May 25 - Israel's highest judicial body continued its arrogation of powers today by instructing Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu to replace his administration's representative on the panel that votes in new justices to that judicial body with one from the Islamist group that controls most of the Gaza Strip, because the group needs representation in choosing candidates to serve on the body that now de facto governs both Israel and Gaza.

The Supreme Court ordered the change today in response to a petition from The Movement for Quality Governance, which pointed out that, given that the Palestinians living under the dictatorial Hamas regime in the Gaza Strip do not have functional representation even in their own government, and that, given the paternalistic, racism-of-low-expectations approach of the ideology governing the Court for the last thirty years, it is only fair to put Hamas on the committee that selects judges for the Supreme Court, which, unlike lower courts, rules on cases affecting Israel's conduct of war and its administration of areas under military control.

Analysts also see the move as a swipe at the Netanyahu government, which attempted in 2023 to overhaul the judicial system to limit the purview of the Supreme Court, which, in the view of many conservatives, had gradually arrogated for itself powers that formally belong to the legislature and the executive. Critics of the Netanyahu reform package saw a threat to the independence of the judiciary. Now the government will have once less voice and vote on the selection committee, which the judicial establishment already controls in effect: the majority of its slots are allotted to protégées of the sitting justices in the Israel Bar Association, or to the justices themselves.

Practical hurdles remain: logistical, legal, procedural, and security issues all stand in the way of implementing the ruling. MQG representatives have already asked the Court for clarification on the requirement that a Hamas delegate sit on the committee, considering those hurdles, and proposed that, at least as a temporary measure, the Bar Association or MQG itself provide the missing delegate, lest the government try to maintain its hold on the committee seat until a suitable Hamas member can be brought in.

Other complications include how the Hamas representative will be selected, given the lack of democratic norms under Hamas rule and in Hamas's own ranks. On that point, the MQG proposal leaves it to the Court's discretion, but suggests selecting from among Hamas personnel already in Israeli custody, if only for convenience.



Buy EoZ's books  on Amazon!

"He's an Anti-Zionist Too!" cartoon book (December 2024)

PROTOCOLS: Exposing Modern Antisemitism (February 2022)

   
 

 

Friday, May 16, 2025

Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory.

Check out their Facebook  and  Substack pages.


Gaza Is An Open-Air Prison. How Dare You Suggest Anyone Leave!  

by Mehdi Hasan

Doha, May 16 - The images out of Jabaliya, Khan Yunis, Rafah, and Shuja'iyyah are horrific. Israel has brutally destroyed all the grandeur and rich life in the place everyone was calling the world's largest concentration camp - and now they and Trump think the Palestinians there should go somewhere else? Ridiculous and evil.

There is nowhere as beautiful as their homeland! How dare you encourage them to leave a place they claim to want to be in only temporarily because they're refugees from what's now Israel! Look at the paradise Israel destroyed, the one my fellow Qatar-backed voices deemed an open-air prison out of which Gazans broke out on October 7? Please, be consistent.

All open-air prisons get free electricity, international humanitarian aid, and infusions of Qatari cash. Well, I also get infusions of Qatari cash, but that just goes to show it's not a particularly remarkable phenomenon.

Encouraging Gaza residents to leave smacks of ethnic cleansing. Not like when Israel took all of its Jews out of Gaza in 2005 by force. That we call something else, because they didn't belong there. As opposed to the Palestinians who are there because they left other parts of Palestine, which means they don't belong in Gaza, either, for whom it would qualify as ethnic cleansing.

Also not like what Palestinians have declared they aim to do to the Jews everywhere in historic Palestine. Ethnic cleansing is something only happens to non-Jews. The Jews displaced from the Etzion Bloc of kibbutzim, or from Jerusalem's old city, in 1948, don't count. Or the ones expelled from Arab countries over the ensuing decades. But I digress.

They're starving in Gaza! Genocide! Humanitarian disaster! And we must KEEP them there.

Did I mention the genocide? By agreement with the Emir, I have to use the term in reference to Israel and Gaza at least four times a day. Hasn't been much of a problem keeping that provision of the contract. Definitely running a surplus. But I have to show His Excellency that I care, beyond mere adherence to the terms of the agreement.

Genocide genocide genocide genocide!

STOP TALKING ABOUT GETTING PALESTINIANS AWAY FROM A GENOCIDE, YOU MONSTERS.

Besides, you can't just move more than two million people. Unless they're Jews being banished from Palestine, because all seven and a half million must leave. If they don't want to leave, they can live as an underclass under Islamic supremacy, or die.

This is the humane attitude to the situation.



Buy EoZ's books  on Amazon!

"He's an Anti-Zionist Too!" cartoon book (December 2024)

PROTOCOLS: Exposing Modern Antisemitism (February 2022)

   
 

 

Thursday, May 08, 2025

Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory.

Check out their Facebook  and  Substack pages.



Jerusalem, May 8 - Israelis who lived through Nazi persecution number in the low six figures at most, statistics indicate, which places fundraising efforts for various welfare projects in jeopardy, as those organizations must begin pivoting away from tugging heartstrings to solicit money by recruiting such aged people in their publicity materials as more and more of them die off or become otherwise incapacitated.

Depending on the definition used by the statisticians in question, somewhere between 115,000 and 140,000 Holocaust survivors live in Israel - with all but a handful of the very oldest having lived through Nazi-controlled Europe or North Africa as children or adolescents. The shrinking demographic can provide fewer and fewer paid or volunteer candidates each year to look poor, lonely, and receiving insufficient care so that the organization producing the fundraising promotion can guilt Israelis into choosing that charity over others. The phenomenon has received increased attention at nonprofit powwows over the last three decades.

Soon, analysts predict, the fundraising models will cease to shame people into thinking their own stinginess might contribute to the substandard living conditions of Holocaust survivors, and charity organizations will be forced to cobble together causes with less general appeal in order to meet their fundraising goals.

"The Shoah remains the only truly universal trauma that can be milked in this way," acknowledged Ronit Hermann, a resource development consultant with Shatil, the NGO-capacity-building arm of the New Israel Fund. "For decades, it's been something of a cash cow. But as it gets harder and harder to find survivors able and willing to serve in this mascot capacity, organizations must identify and develop alternatives - none of which, unfortunately, have the same unifying solidarity underlying them that made Shoah business so effective."

"October seventh certainly resonates in terms of trauma," she explained, "but it's still too raw and looks too exploitative this close in. It'll be a good few years before 'Nova survivor' or 'October seventh survivor' becomes a thing in general charity fundraising work. In the meantime, organizations must fall back on the standbys of distressed children and overwrought, staged scenes of struggle, to get the desired emotional response."

In some political circles, however, the alarm bells mean little. A spokesman for Human Rights Watch assured a journalist that if the group's work succeeds, a second Holocaust will take place soon enough, with the only question becoming whether there will be anyone around afterwards to fundraise off of it.



Buy EoZ's books  on Amazon!

"He's an Anti-Zionist Too!" cartoon book (December 2024)

PROTOCOLS: Exposing Modern Antisemitism (February 2022)

   
 

 

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