Iranian media can't decide who controls whom: US or Israel?

A couple of days ago, Iran's FARS "news" agency reported "Zionist Lobbies Thwart Improvement of US Ties with Iran."

On Wednesday, however, Ahmadinejad said that

These elements (Zionists), which have … formed a government in occupied Palestine today, are marionettes that are playing their parts on stage while the actual politics and actual stage is in the control of the United States.

So who controls whom?

The answer, of course, is that we Elders control the leaders of the US who in turn control the Israeli marionette government.

But we also control Iran, mostly through our Shi'ite division. 

And Egypt's Muslim Brotherhood answers to our Sunni wing.

And the banks, of course, have always been controlled by us.

And the media, especially the FARS News Agency.

And professional bowling. (Well, Elders have to start somewhere!)