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Monday, January 02, 2006

Call for Papers: Terror Conference '07

The National Conference to Support the Resistance just finished a very successful program in Lebanon. Details helpfully provided by the Lebanon Daily Star:
BEIRUT: The National Conference to Support the Resistance said that Hizbullah is a "national duty and the only real option to defend Lebanon's territories, national sovereignty and independence."

In a final statement adopted on Monday at the end of the two-day conference, protecting the resistance was at the top of a list of 14 recommendations.

The conference endorsed Friday the option to resist and confront the "American-Israeli schemes against Lebanon and other Middle Eastern countries."

Several civil society organizations took part and emphasized the need to promote the culture of resistance and reinforce the society's immunity to meet the current challenges facing Lebanon.

During the conference, eight working papers were discussed. Some of them dealt with "Distinction between Terrorism and the Resistance," "Role of Culture in the Resistance," and "Methods to Reinforce National Unity."

The conference president Yehya Ghaddar read out the 14 recommendations and said "several similar conferences and activities will be held in Lebanon soon."

Following the discussions and interventions, participants announced the establishment of the National Gathering to Support the Resistance in order to increase the participation of the civil society organizations in the gathering.

In the recommendations, the conference called upon the National Gathering to Support the Resistance "to strengthen the awareness about the nature of the Zionist enemy and its danger."

Furthermore, the recommendations said comprehensive and civil resistance should be a priority of the civil society, the parties, forces and youth, cultural and women's associations.

The conference also called "to mobilize all immigrant forces to confront the Zionist project that targets Lebanon's territories, people, state and entity."

It also made an appeal to "generalize Lebanon's national culture among immigrants so that they form a pressure group wherever they are and defend the resistance and national interests."
This perennial favorite conference among the biggest and best terrorists in the world may have been the most fun yet! The 2002 Conference, although it included such after-hours activities as "Blow up the Jewish child" and "Hang the US President", suffered from the extended name of "The National Conference to Support the Resistance and Freedom and Reject US Interference" and it was widely acknowledged that the extra four words made the acronym TNCTSTRAFARUI was a bit too hard to pronounce, even in Arabic.

But this year's was a smash! Delegates had break-out sessions in the evenings, over drinks of Mecca Cola. These "birds of a feather" sessions allowed bombmakers to socialize and network with Arab governmental officials in an informal way.

The highlight of the conference had to be the Honor Killing session on Saturday night. The delegates went "out on the town" in Beirut, looking for any unmarried woman who was socializing with a man (or a woman ugly enough to be a man.) Dragged by their hair to the delight of onlookers, their throats were slashed in the Grand Ballroom as their proud parents looked on.

It is not too late to register for the 2007 conference! Of particular importance are any scholarly papers that can prove that Jews are genetically closer to apes than humans; much research is being done in prestigious Arab universities and they are very close to announcing a breakthrough. "How to talk to CNN" is another always popular topic.

Of course, the usual papers extolling Nazism and at the same time identifying Zionism with Nazism are welcome, as always.

We might not have the global star-power of some other conferences, but we are confident that we are the leader in Middle East terror conferences, and we intend, inshallah, to stay number one!

Hotel packages are available - make your reservations now!