Sunday, November 14, 2021
- Sunday, November 14, 2021
- Elder of Ziyon
- Sunday, November 14, 2021
- Elder of Ziyon
Modern Eilat is located between the mountain "Gatal Mahamar" and the area labelled "marais saumâtre" (brackish marsh).
- Sunday, November 14, 2021
- Elder of Ziyon
A man reported to police after wearing T-shirts supporting proscribed terrorist groups has admitted offences under the Terrorism Act.Feras Al Jayoosi, 34 (02.06.87), of Swindon was observed on Tuesday, 8 and Wednesday, 9 June wearing two T-shirts in Golders Green in north London - one bearing the logo of the Palestinian Islamic Jihad (PIJ) group, and the other with the Hamas Izz al-Din al-Qassem Brigades logo. Both are proscribed terrorist organisations.The sightings were reported to police, and officers from the Met’s Counter Terrorism Command (SO15) launched an investigation.Al Jayoosi was quickly identified as the person wearing the T-shirts, and was arrested at his home address two days later, on Friday, 11 June.Further enquiries revealed he had worn the Hamas Izz al-Din al-Qassem Brigades T-shirt in Swindon on Sunday, 30 May.He was charged on Wednesday, 27 October.Appearing at Westminster Magistrates’ Court on Friday, 12 November, Al Jayoosi admitted to four charges of wearing an article, namely a T-shirt, in such a way or in such circumstances as to arouse reasonable suspicion that he was a supporter of a proscribed organisation, contrary to section 13(1) and (3) of the Terrorism Act 2000.Following the pleas, he was conditionally bailed, and will be sentenced at the same court on Friday, 17 December.
Saturday, November 13, 2021
- Saturday, November 13, 2021
- Elder of Ziyon
Jews need to be united on a united Jerusalem
This is the time for the entire American-Jewish community to unite to keep Jerusalem united, because Biden’s move is about a lot more than the consulate.Itamar Marcus: UNRWA - the worst thing that ever happened to Palestinians
The Abraham Accords came from then-president Donald Trump making clear that there is no daylight between Israel and the US. He emphasized that lack of daylight with every step he took, from renouncing the dangerous Iranian nuclear deal, to recognizing Israeli sovereignty over the Golan Heights to formally recognizing united Jerusalem as Israel’s capital and moving the US Embassy.
Reopening the US consulate for the PA would be a destructive step on the way to undoing other moves courageously undertaken by Trump for Israel, America’s closest and most loyal ally. It would be a sign that the Biden administration is purposely creating daylight with Israel again.
It is understandable that the Biden administration would want to harm the Abraham Accords, which were an unprecedented accomplishment initiated by the president’s predecessor from a rival party. But it would be completely short-sighted and would distance Middle East peace after significant progress was finally made.
This move would isolate Israel in the international community and return to the intransigent Palestinian leadership the veto power that enabled them to quash all peace overtures by Democratic and Republican presidents and secretaries of state in the past. It would also harm chances of formally expanding the Abraham Accords to other countries, most notably Saudi Arabia, which was active behind the scenes in efforts to advance Middle East peace during the Trump administration.
The diverse Israeli government, which is divided on most issues, is united in favor of expanding the Abraham Accords, so failing to do so by refocusing diplomatic energies on the Palestinians again would be a tremendous missed opportunity.
In a shocking admission of the political agenda behind UNRWA, PA Social Development Minister Ahmed Majdalani recently told UNRWA Commissioner-General Philippe Lazzarini how the PA sees UNRWA in an online article from Al-Quds on October 27. “Majdalani emphasized the necessity of protecting UNRWA not as an institution that provides services to the refugees, but rather because it is a political symbol of the refugees’ right of return,” the article reads.
UNRWA is not intended to help the refugees but to preserve them as refugees serving the PA’s goals. The world saw a tragic example of the PA’s ideology during the Syrian civil war. Palestinians in refugee camps were being killed and Israel offered to allow them into PA areas on the condition that they be taken off the UN refugee lists. Shockingly, Mahmoud Abbas refused. The PA preferred that they be killed as refugees than live as free people in the PA areas. Estimates are that as many as 4,000 camp residents were killed during the fighting.
As a supreme international priority, something must be done to save the 5.7 million victims of UNRWA, and there is a solution. The UNRWA infrastructure must be closed and the administration of all their camps must be transferred to UNHCR – free of the dictates of the PA. UNHCR will be tasked with solving the problem as opposed to UNRWA whose task has been to perpetuate the problem. UNHCR will go to Lebanon, Syria, Jordan and the PA areas with the mandate to take the chains off the refugees and give them freedom.
UNHCR will use its billions of dollars to train them, create jobs and give them homes in the countries where they were born and lived their entire lives, where they must be granted full citizenship. Countries that refuse to resettle their fellow Arabs must be ostracized by the international community and denied international aid until they agree. Instead of chaining an additional 100,000 new refugees every year, hundreds of thousands, and eventually millions can be resettled every year until all the political refugees are freed.
UNRWA as the PA’s “political symbol” does not fit the world’s values or serve the interests of those suffering in the prisons of UNRWA. Disbanding UNRWA and having UNHCR resettle these chained people is a human rights imperative. If the international community allows UNRWA to continue, by 2030 there will be seven million refugees, and by 2050 probably 10 million or more. Every day another 274 children are born into UNRWA’s 58 prisons. Every year another 100,000 children are denied their freedom. It is immoral to allow UNRWA to exist even one extra day.
1,500-plus rabbis rebuke US for abstention vote on UN resolution targeting Israel
The largest rabbinic public-policy organization in the United States called the Biden administration’s decision to abstain from a U.N. General Assembly draft resolution that targeted Israel “quite disappointing.”Mike Pompeo: Israel has 'duty' to defend itself from Iran absent US support | Global Perspectives
The text, called “Assistance to Palestinian Refugees,” demands “compensation” for descendants of Palestinian refugees who lost property when they fled their homes, as well as an unlimited “right of return” for Palestinian refugees to a sovereign Israel.
Israel would cease being the world’s only Jewish state as a result of the resolution, which is related to the work of the U.N. Relief and Works Agency (UNRWA).
Israel was the sole country that opposed the text, which passed the General Assembly on Tuesday 160-1 with nine abstentions from the United States, Canada, Cameroon, the Marshall Islands, Micronesia, Nauru, Palau, Papa New Guinea and Uruguay.
Rabbi Yaakov Menken, managing director of the Coalition for Jewish Values (CJV), which represents more than 1,500 traditional Jewish leaders, said: “This resolution employed a blatantly anti-Semitic double standard, demanding ‘compensation’ for Arabs who left as advised by the genocidal Arab League, but no similar compensation from Arab states for the endemic ethnic cleansing of Jews and confiscation of their property, much less a ‘right of return’ to countries unsafe for Jews to enter.”
“The [Biden] administration abstained on an issue of hate and bigotry,” he added. “This is not moral leadership. The previous administration took the morally correct approach, and we did not expect its position to be so rapidly abandoned.”
IDF publishes a video of the joint two-week-long drill with the US Marines. pic.twitter.com/S4JpgPPorv
— Emanuel (Mannie) Fabian (@manniefabian) November 13, 2021
- Saturday, November 13, 2021
- Elder of Ziyon
This is a bit of karma since all Palestinian maps include all of Israel - now they can know how it feels!في إكسبو الجناح الأردني
— هلا العبادي🇯🇴💙 (@HalaZAlabbadi1) November 12, 2021
ثلاث مناطق أردنية
" عمان والعقبة رام الله "
😌🤦♀️#اكسبو_دبي#الاردن pic.twitter.com/9TsJu36C8U
Friday, November 12, 2021
Mark Regev: The Palestinians must acknowledge their role in the Holocaust
CONSIDERING HUSSEINI’S shameful war record in the absence of a German occupation of Mandatory Palestine, there can be little doubt what it would have included had Hitler’s armies reached the Holy Land. The Führer would have been keen to exploit Husseini’s leadership of the Palestinians, dispatching him to Jerusalem to head a collaborationist administration dedicated to working with the Nazis on “solving the Jewish problem.” Together, they would have been highly effective in doing so, with the Palmah’s plans to wage a Tito-style guerrilla war against the Germans from the Carmel mountains having only symbolic importance, with no realistic possibility of preventing genocide.
Sadly, today in the Palestinian Authority, Amin al-Husseini remains a respected figure, an honored founding father of the national struggle. Far from critically confronting evidence of wartime collaboration, Palestinians choose to pervert history. President Mahmoud Abbas speaking before the Palestinian National Council in 2018 asserted that the Holocaust was caused by the Jews’ “social behavior, [charging] interest and financial matters.” Abbas dedicated his 1982 doctoral thesis and a 1984 book to the mendacious proposition that Zionists collaborated with the Nazis. (Former London mayor Ken Livingstone was suspended from Britain’s Labour Party in 2016 for regurgitating this argument.)
Palestinian historical revisionism also includes the contention that the Palestinians are themselves Holocaust victims, claiming that they were forced to pay for Europe’s crimes, losing their homeland so that the West could atone for its sins against the Jews.
In 2019, Democratic Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib, herself of Palestinian heritage, seemed to endorse this tortuous argument when she stated that “it was my ancestors – Palestinians – who lost their land and some lost their lives, their livelihood, their human dignity, their existence... in the name of trying to create a safe haven for Jews,” conveniently omitting the Palestinian leadership’s behavior during those fateful years. Germany’s post-war integration into Europe was predicated upon taking full responsibility for its wartime actions. Across Europe, East and West, nations condemn those of their citizens who collaborated with Nazi antisemitic policies. It is high time the Palestinians did the same. Maybe the European Union’s representatives to the Palestinian Authority should encourage them to do so. For without such an unequivocal official repudiation of Amin al-Husseini’s legacy, doubts will endure as to the current Palestinian leadership’s character, doubts that affect present-day Israeli deliberations.
David Collier: pro-Assad Hadi Nasrallah and Twitter combine forces to take me off Twitter
I am currently locked out of my Twitter account. What did I do? Absolutely nothing. Hadi Nasrallah, a pro-Hezbollah, pro-Assad extremist, falsely reported my account – and Twitter bent over backwards to facilitate him. Currently I am locked out – and unless I delete the tweets that they want me to – which are clearly both in the public interest and do not break any of Twitter’s rules – then I won’t gain access to my account again.Antisemitism researcher locked out of Twitter
I have no intention of deleting them. Nor should I be required to.
Who is Hadi Nasrallah
Hadi Nasrallah is a pro-Hezbollah, pro-Assad extremist. He is from Lebanon and graduated from the University of Westminster in 2017. His BA dissertation was on Hezbollah:
When radical Islamic terror groups commit blatant war crimes by firing rockets at Israeli civilian cities – Hadi Nasrallah explicitly supports them:
This is what he says about the terror group Hezbollah and their attacks on both Israeli and US targets:
H*zb*llah as a group of indigenous Lebanese fighters has a legitimate right to fight the Israeli occupation of their land including its support system which in that case was the American military bases in the country.
Notice how he edits the name of the radical Islamist terror group to avoid Facebook censorship. Just think. during his time at a London campus – Hadi Nasrallah was free to spread his extremism and hate. It cannot be stated often enough – we have a problem on our campuses and this is evidence that it is far more troubling than many believe. Would you want your children on the same campus as extremists like Hadi Nasrallah?
Hadi Nasrallah is a hard-core Assad fanboy. His time line is full of endless Assad glorification. I could fill a book with examples from his public posts. In 2017 he proudly posted an image of himself on a Syrian Tank:
Mr Collier said the move from Twitter was: “potentially very damaging for anyone involved in the fight against extremism and antisemitism.
“If we are restricted from using publicly available images that are clearly covered as being in the public interest - then we go into the battle with our hands tied behind our backs.”
It is “truly worrying” how easy it is to abuse on the platform, the campaigner added.
“This is a deliberate attempt to silence a voice of a Jewish campaigner against antisemitism and it needed nothing more than a mouse click to succeed,” he said.
In a statement, Twitter told the JC: “The account referenced has been temporarily locked for violating our private information policy.
“The account owner is required to delete the violative Tweet before regaining access to their account.”
- Friday, November 12, 2021
- Elder of Ziyon
The main reason for the strengthening of the Israeli economy is the security factor. For example, with the second intifada, 20 years ago, the shekel fell against the dollar to 4.5. Here, it becomes clear to us that the Israelis are buying security by any means, whether it is a truce with Gaza or the temptations of permits (for Palestinian workers) in the West Bank. Therefore, if we want to break Israel, we must think of ways to defeat the shekel and their economy, or at least weaken it, before thinking about military and political plans.
Sheikh Jarrah explains why Palestinians will remain stateless
Palestinians maintain that Arabs have the right to live in Israel but deny the right of Jews to live in Judea and Samaria. A Palestinian state that is Judenrein is far worse than an apartheid state. None of the two-staters or supporters of the Palestinians care, but Jews are supposed to support their ambition.Palestinian officials outraged at slow pace of U.S. policy toward PA
Palestinians complain about settlements, but did they really expect Israel to prevent Jews from moving to parts of their homeland while they plotted Israel's disappearance?
Consider that when they rejected autonomy in 1979, there were fewer than 10,000 Jews in the territories. When their terror attacks destroyed the 1993 Oslo Accords, there were about 150,000. There were 200,000 when Arafat rejected the Clinton Parameters in 2000 and about 275,000 when Abbas walked away from former Prime Minister Ehud Olmert's offer in 2008.
In the years since then, the Jewish population has increased to 475,000, not counting the 200,000 Jews living in Jerusalem that the Palestinians also consider settlers.
Do the Palestinians, their supporters and two-staters seriously believe those Jews are going to disappear or that any Israeli government will force them out of their homes as part of an agreement that, like Oslo, won't be worth the paper it's written on?
The Arab states couldn't force the Jews into the sea, and now, they are more interested in peace with Israel than helping the Palestinians who they view as ungrateful and obdurate. Do the Palestinians think the EU or the UN can force Israel to capitulate to their demands? Do they listen to the insignificant members of "The Squad" repeating their propaganda and expect the United States to abandon its ally?
The Palestinians created fantasyland long before Walt Disney.
Two state advocates refuse to acknowledge not only this history but the present, which is not just reflected by the Sheikh Jarrah case but also by the broader Palestinian rejection of compromise. According to recent polls, for example, 66% support annulling the Oslo Accords, 54% oppose returning to negotiations, 54% believe a return to an armed intifada is the best way to achieve their goals and, by a 62-36% margin, oppose a two-state solution (and support has been steadily declining).
The Sheikh Jarrah residents' intransigence may lead to their homelessness just as their fellow Palestinians' obstinance has guaranteed their statelessness.
Frustrated Palestinian officials say American promises to the Palestinian Authority (PA) are just a “mirage,” and that the United States’ policy toward Ramallah under President Joe Biden is no different than it was under his predecessor, Donald Trump, describing the contrast as a “cosmetic change.”
A Palestinian official close to PA President Mahmoud Abbas said that the 86-year leader is “outraged” at the slow pace of U.S. policy toward the Palestinians. Privately, officials in Ramallah have accused Washington of stalling and misleading them.
“Everything that they promised evaporated, they didn’t follow through on any of their pledges,” said the official.
Biden still refuses to meet with Abbas, according to sources in Ramallah, who said that Abbas canceled his trip to the United Nations General Assembly in September, because of efforts by the PA to secure a meeting for Abbas with Biden failed.
The two spoke once by phone last May, following the 11-day cross-border conflict between Israel and Gaza, and there is an official communication channel open between the two. Meanwhile, American officials are visiting Ramallah again.
Abbas became furious at the Biden administration in a meeting with Palestinian leadership last month, lashing out against U.S. officials, calling them “liars for not keeping the promises they made to us.”
Those promises include reopening the Palestine Liberation Organization office in Washington, providing financial support to the PA, and reopening the U.S. consulate in Jerusalem.
Recently, Palestinian Authority Prime Minister Mohammad Shtayyeh, a member of the Central Committee of the Fatah movement headed by Abbas, said that “the current U.S. administration does not have any initiative for peace.”
The Palestinians were counting on renewed U.S. support, both politically and financially.
Palestinian Authority spokesman Nabil Abu Rudaineh: We were offered billions of dollars to accept a Palestinian state with temporary borders, but without Jerusalem. The Palestinian leadership said no. pic.twitter.com/AKicNpiObq
— Khaled Abu Toameh (@KhaledAbuToameh) November 12, 2021
FDD: PFLP Boasts About its Ties to Iran
In a recent interview, Abu Jamal, a spokesperson for the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine’s Abu Ali Mustafa Brigades, stated the group and the ‘Palestinian Resistance’ benefited from Iranian support in its war against Israel.
“We and the Islamic Republic fought the Zionist enemy in Lebanon and we also fought them in Gaza and the West Bank with the support of the Islamic Republic (sic),” Jamal stated.
Furthermore, Jamal lauded the relationship the group had with Iran and the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) by referring to them as ‘blood brothers’ and ‘comrades’ that shared a ‘common destiny’ in defeating Israel.
It’s unclear when Iran began supporting the group. However, in 2013, Iran reportedly resumed military and financial support to the group after leaders from both sides held several meetings in Tehran, Beirut and Damascus under the auspices of Hezbollah.
Hamas, Palestinian Islamic Jihad, PFLP, and Popular Resistance Committees have boasted about their relationship with Iran including military support they have received. After the May conflict in Gaza, the aforementioned groups praised Iran and Hezbollah for their military support during the eleven days of fighting. Additionally, smaller Palestinian factions have benefited from some Iranian aid including the now defunct Harakat al-Sabireen.
The close relationship between Iran and the PFLP was also on display when a PFLP delegation met with President Ibrahim Raisi after his swearing in ceremony in Aug. As expected, Raisi affirmed the Islamic Republic’s continued support for the ‘Palestinian Resistance’ and the ‘liberation of Palestine.’
- Friday, November 12, 2021
- Elder of Ziyon
- Friday, November 12, 2021
- Elder of Ziyon
There have been hundreds of angry responses and quote tweets, most over-the-top but few actually addressing the issue.
Nakba Day is observed on May 15 ever since the Zionist militias invaded Palestine on this day in 1948 and expelled tens of thousands of people from their homes.In 1948, Zionist militias expelled 700,000 Palestinians from their native land through a campaign that included murder, rape, and intimidation.
- Friday, November 12, 2021
- Elder of Ziyon
An LGBTQ rainbow flag was painted on the separation barrier near Ramallah in 2015 - and it was whitewashed hours later |
When I first heard of alQaws, I expected that their central focus would be to work towards dismantling homophobia in Palestinian society, while creating spaces for LGBTQ Palestinians like me, who were still trying to imagine a future that would reconcile their culture and family with their queerness.Instead, I constantly found myself in perplexing discussions dominated by terms such as intersectionality, pinkwashing, homonationalism, and settler-colonialism.While I did not completely comprehend how these terms were, according to alQaws’ organizers, key to LGBTQ liberation, I knew enough to question this approach. But I did not feel comfortable making my voice heard, and so I remained mostly silent. I began to feel unsure how I fitted into alQaws’ world.
While alQaws’ organizers would argue that the persistence of such Palestinian homophobia should be seen as related to the persistence of the occupation, that does not make it any less urgent, nor does it prevent us from fighting it as aggressively and in parallel to the occupation.
While alQaws’ organizers would argue that the persistence of such Palestinian homophobia should be seen as related to the persistence of the occupation, that does not make it any less urgent, nor does it prevent us from fighting it as aggressively and in parallel to the occupation....And what about the members of the LGBTQ community themselves, some of whom face violence, or intimidation, fear exposing their sexual or gender identity, or want to actively contribute to the struggle to confront and solve exactly these issues, without discarding the Palestinian national struggle, but also without making one contingent upon the other?It strikes me as a poor strategy to demand participants always simultaneously claim their Palestinian-hood alongside their queerness alongside calling to end the occupation.
Thursday, November 11, 2021
‘I Will Not Be Intimidated’: Israeli Ambassador to UK Evacuated After Event Amid Pro-Palestinian Protest
Hotovely responded to the incident on Wednesday morning, tweeting, “I had an excellent event #LSE and I will not be intimidated. I will continue to share the Israeli story and hold open dialogue with all parts of British society.”Phyllis Chesler: Creative Palestinian Arab terror - now into stifling free speech
The Israeli Embassy to the UK also responded, saying, “the aggressive actions of protestors yesterday run counter to all principles of justice and tolerance in both our democracies. As we engage with British society, we will continue to overcome extremism and to condemn violence in all forms.
An LSE spokesman said on Wednesday that the university is investigating the students’ threats against Hotovely.
“Free speech and freedom of expression underpins everything we do at LSE. Intimidation or threats of violence are completely unacceptable,” he said, according to the BBC. “We are aware of some threats of violence made on social media around this event. Any LSE students identified as being involved in making such threats will face disciplinary action.”
Senior British officials and Jewish groups roundly condemned the incident, with the Board of Deputies of British Jews urging LSE and the police to discipline any students “who exceeded the bounds of police protest.”
“Huge credit to @IsraelinUK Ambassador @TzipiHotovely for facing down intimidation & for an engaging 90-minute event with students,” the group tweeted. “The bullies will not win.”
The world sees it all but remains indifferent. Some blame the Jewish state for “provoking” such brownshirt-like attacks.Murderer of Holocaust survivor sentenced to life in prison in France
This latest outrage against Ambassador Hotovely was hardly the first time that a mob prevented an Israeli diplomat from speaking. In 2002, in Montreal, at Concordia University, former Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu was similarly unable to speak; even with 100 police officers, the anti-Israeli, pro-Palestinian mob could not be contained or dispersed. (I wrote about this way back in 2003, in The New Anti-Semitism.) A good friend, a Talmudic scholar, and her rabbi-husband were caught up in the melee and beaten.
Yes, beaten. Pummeled. Bruised.
Back in the day, Palestinian Jihadists “merely” hijacked planes, shot up airports and synagogues, and passed resolutions at the United Nations. Then, they turned themselves into human bombs and blew up Israeli buses and their passengers, Israelis in their beds, at their seder tables, in nightclubs, study halls, and on the street. They also rammed cars into civilians and went on stabbing sprees.
Then they took it to the streets of foreign capitals in the West. For about 19 years, such Jew-hating mobs have been smashing windows, beating people, attacking vulnerable individuals, and also preventing pro-Israel speakers from being heard by utilizing mob tactics, not through open debate.
I have been tracking this for a while. Speaking out about it, I’ve also faced some menacing mobs of my own, as well as turned backs, and a lot of friendly fire.
I’m lucky, I’m retired as a Professor. But American academics who are still on the job and who are—who are seen as pro-Israel—are similarly hounded out of their classrooms, jobs, friendships, and futures. Many do not recover. Those who return to their campuses must teach in agonizing, hostile silence.
Israel has creatively “managed” these relentless attacks. What, if anything, have we done about their counterparts in the West? What can we do? What must we do?
A French court sentenced a man to life in prison for what it termed the antisemitic murder of a Holocaust survivor in Paris in 2018.
The murderer of Mireille Knoll, Yacine Mihoub, will be eligible for parole in 22 years, according to the ruling Wednesday by the Criminal Tribunal of Paris, AFP reported. An accomplice of his, Alex Carrimbacus, was sentenced to 15 years for theft aggravated by a hate crime for their actions in 2018.
The charred body of Mireille Knoll, 85, was discovered in her apartment on March 23, 2018. Knoll, who escaped deportation to a Nazi death camp when French police rounded up Jews in Paris in 1942, was stabbed 11 times before her apartment was set ablaze by the perpetrators.
Mihoub, 29, is a son of Knoll’s neighbor and had known her all his life. He and Carrimbacus, 23, were indicted in May 2020.
In the verdict, the two men’s crimes were found to have been antisemitic because they targeted Knoll out of the belief that robbing and killing her would be lucrative because she is Jewish.
Knoll’s murder provoked an outcry by French Jews, including a protest march through Paris organized by Jewish community leaders in which 10,000 people participated.
Her murder occurred about a year after the slaying of Sarah Halimi, a Jewish physician, by a neighbor who shouted about Allah as he killed her. The killer in that case, Kobili Traore, did not stand trial because a judge found that he was suffering a psychotic episode induced by the consumption of marijuana. That ruling, which ended with Traore being admitted to a psychiatric institution, sparked a wave of protests by French Jews.
- Thursday, November 11, 2021
- Elder of Ziyon
- humor, Preoccupied
Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory.
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Tel Aviv, November 14 - Securities brokerages and bourse research companies in Israel's financial and commercial capital began to implement new recruitment procedures today, in reaction to findings that primates picking securities investments at random do at least as well, and sometimes better, at selecting holdings that will appreciate, than expensive analysts do: the hiring of various apes and monkeys to perform that selection, a strategy that the firms anticipate will result in both greater investment profitability and lower staffing and management costs.
Solomon-Zigri, Eshel Holdings, and Green Trust, three of Israel's largest firms handling trade on the Tel Aviv Securities Exchange, each disclosed today that they will replace most of their research and analysis departments with rhesus monkeys and similar creatures, now that the Ministry of Labor and Ministry of Health have approved the use of primates in the necessary roles, effective today. The three largest such firms joined a number of smaller operations who announced last week they will undertake the switch on a probationary basis for six months.
Asaf Benn, a vice president with Eshel-Zikri, explained the rationale in an interview conducted via Zoom. "Experts have known for many years that monkeys pick stocks as well as experienced analysts," he observed. "But big organizations adapt slowly. A younger generation of executives now runs the main TASE brokerage houses, and they're willing to make changes their elders were too conservative to implement."
Sigal Green of Green Trust added that her firm maintains close contact with a research facility that conducts experiments comparing the stock-picking abilities of different species of fauna. "We went with the rhesus monkeys because that's what the initial research used," she explained. "But there's no inherent reason to stick with rhesus monkeys, with monkeys or apes in general, or even vertebrates. There was apparently a dog or something in Italy that successfully picked the winners of various sporting events with remarkable accuracy. Right now we have our eye on goldfish, which would involve significant turnover of... well I guess you'd call it personnel. Inventory? Whichever, it would still offer significant savings over even the monkeys, which require a specialized work environment, specific care, the works."
Market observers remarked that Israel's innovative reputation now extends beyond agricultural, internet, and defense technologies. "People treated the monkey thing as amusing dig at expensive research and money management services, not of practical significance," recalled investment analyst Fidu Czieri. "Leave it to Israelis to say, 'Hey, well, why not try that?'"