Elder Of Ziyon - Israel News: saudi vice

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Monday, December 15, 2014

Saudi Vice episode 38: Treat others how you wish to be tweeted

Our heroes at the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice are up on the latest technology. They even have an IT crime department where they jealously check out reports of bad behavior online and they swing into action.

From Arab News:

The Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice (Haia) has shut down 10,117 Twitter accounts during the year because of religious violations, its spokesman, Turki Al-Shulail, has revealed.

“Their users were committing religious and ethical violations. Haia blocked and arrested some of their owners. However, it was hard to follow all the accounts due to the advanced security used in this kind of social media,” he told the media.

“The IT crime department at Haia played a major role to close these accounts. Our unit is divided into two sections: The first receives reports and complaints from citizens and residents and the second one monitors and does follow-up operations through websites and software applications,” he pointed out.

Ahmed Al-Ahamri, a lawyer specialized in IT crimes told Arab News that Saudi law punishes IT-related crimes with prison sentences that may exceed five years as well as fines as high as SR3 million.

“The crimes include religious or moral violations via the Internet. The number of these accounts has increased during the last five years and there is a need to put an end to them and arrest the users who publish material against our religion and society,” he stressed.

Saudi Vice episode 36: Don't give birth without your guardian!

It is time for another episode of:

Where we follow our heroes from the Saudi Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice as they protect and serve the Saudi public, guarding them from evil forces!

From Arab News:

The Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice (Haia) has officially prevented women from visiting medical clinics without male guardians.

This came after a member of the Council of Senior Scholars issued a “fatwa” (edict) prohibiting women from visiting male doctors without having male guardians present.

“Islamic law does not permit women to visit their doctors without male guardians,” said Qais Al-Mubarak, a member of the Council of Senior Scholars. “Women are prohibited from exposing body parts to male doctors in Islamic law, especially during childbirth. This does not include medical emergencies. Islamic jurisprudence makes exceptions,” he added.

If childbirth isn't an emergency, it is unclear what is. But,hey, you can understand how Saudi male obstetricians can get uncontrollably turned on at the sight of a sweaty, screaming woman exposing her private parts. It's only natural, and Islamic jurisprudence must guard against it.

Male guardians can only be the next of kin in Islam. They are sons, grandsons, husbands, brothers, fathers or uncles.

Al-Mubarak said male doctors could conduct medical examinations on female patients only if female physicians are unavailable and only if male guardians accompany them.

“Unaccompanied visits to male doctors can have negative implications,” he said.

I wonder if Saudi medical school textbooks censor gynecological diagrams. Maybe the students practice delivering babies with camels.

Other Saudi Vice news:

Of course, the annual Saudi war against Valentine's Day.

Also, if you are a woman in Saudi Arabia, don't try to go to the main library in the Grand Mosque in Mecca.

The good news? The Saudi king overturned a death penalty for an Indonesian housemaid who has been in jail for a while awaiting her execution. Her crime? Sorcery.

Saudi Vice episode 35: Let's celebrate without dancing and singing

It's been a while since the last episode of:

From Al Arabiya:

The Saudi religious police warned against singing and dancing in public places on Monday as the kingdom marks its 83rd National Day, according to DPA.

Turki al-Shalil, a spokesman for the Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice religious police, said in a press statement on Monday that violators will face “disciplinary actions.”

Festivities are planned nationwide to mark the 83rd anniversary of the unification of the kingdom.

I guess choreographed dancing flash mobs are a rarity in the Kingdom.

Its so nice to know that the Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice is keeping everyone on their toes.

Well, not literally, since that could lead to dancing.

Saudi Vice, episode 34: Too much of a good thing

From Saudi Gazette:

A Hai’a security inspector has been fined SR3,000, six weeks in prison and 120 lashes for marrying more than four women and breaking residency laws.

The Hai’a is the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice.

He married three Saudi women, who are on his identity card, two non-Saudi women who don’t have Iqamas [Saudi residency cards - EoZ] and a non-Saudi who has an Iqama, reported Al-Madina Arabic daily on Monday.

It is against Islamic law for a Muslim man to have more than four wives at one time.

The Control and Investigation Board (CIB) accused the Hai’a employee of unethical behavior and abusing his position. The Administrative Court at the Jizan Board of Grievances in Uhud Al-Masariha gave him 120 lashes for marrying more than four wives.

The Administrative Committee at Jizan Passport Administration fined the Hai’a employee SR3,000 and sentenced him to six weeks in prison for covering up for two women who didn’t have Iqamas.

Hasn't he been punished enough?

The case of the employee was discovered three years ago. He was arrested by the police and the Hai’a at a furnished apartment.

He was also ordered to memorize certain chapters of the Holy Qur’an and study their interpretation. He was also banned from traveling abroad for five years, delivering a speech in the mosque and leading prayers in the mosque.

Saudi Vice, episode 32: Tats Entertainment

From Emirates 24/7:

Saudi Arabia’s religious police have told foreign players with tattoos on their arms to cover such drawings while on the field, saying they are adversely affecting young Saudis, a newspaper reported on Monday.

The Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice sent a letter to the Higher Youth Committee asking it to warn all foreign players in the conservative Muslim Gulf kingdom to cover their tattoos before going into the field during matches, Sabq Arabic language daily said.

The letter cited Columbian player at Al Nasr Club, Juan Pablo Pino, whose hands and shoulders are covered with tattoos “in violation of existing rules.”

“These tattoos have negative effects on the Saudi youth…you are asked to draw the attention of all foreign players in the Kingdom to the need to abide by the rules and cover their tattoos during matches,” the letter said.

The paper said the letter contained a photograph of Pino, showing his two arms are covered with tattoos.

The paper said the letter followed a picture published in local newspapers showing Pino’s tattoos included some “Christian drawings.”

The 24-year-old Pino and his pregnant wife were detained by Commission members at a Riyadh shopping mall this week on the grounds he was wearing a T-shirt without sleeves.

Saudi Vice, episode 31: Khulwa in an ambulance!

A car accident. A woman injured. Medics must transport her in an ambulance to a more modern facility to properly treat her. Then, they return back to their home hospital, knowing that they have done a good job in helping a human being become whole again.

But before the medics can resume their jobs, the ambulance is stopped by a higher authority.

Our Saudi heroes at the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice notice the ambulance, and when they see red, it is not from the flashing lights.

They see nurses sitting in the front seat.

Female nurses!

As everyone knows, this is an illegal mixing of the sexes, known as "khulwa."

Our heroes chased the ambulance and overtook it, forcing the driver and passengers to exit while they could interrogate them.

For an hour and a half.

After explaining the heinousness of their crime, the Muttawa/Hai'a allowed the medical workers to go on their way. Of course, the women were forced to sit in the rear.

The perpetrators were lucky, though. Firas Press reports that our heroes at the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice uncovered another case of khulwa recently - a party where there were 11 men and 4 women together in the same room.

A Saudi court sentenced the party-goers, aged in their 20s and 30s, to 1-2 years of prison time and up to 80 lashes.

Saudi Vice, episode 30: A great way to start a marriage

A young man in the town of Al Jouf, Saudi Arabia, apparently had some compromising pictures of a young lady. It is unclear how he came to gain these photos - at times, men cajole women to take pictures of themselves and send them over email; other times men take the pictures themselves during an illicit relationship.

As is often the case, the man attempted to blackmail this woman, threatening to expose these pictures unless she does what he wanted.

The courageous young woman called up our heroes at the Muttawa, also known as the Hai'a, otherwise known as the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, to take appropriate action against this blackmailer.

The Hai'a jumped into action, meeting the young man and interrogating him.

But instead of arresting him, they arranged a different kind of punishment: the young man and lady are now going to get married.

The article in the Saudi Gazette unfortunately doesn't mention how ecstatic the woman must be to have a chance to spend the rest of her life with a man who tried to blackmail her, nor whether he already has a wife or three. However, we can be sure that the Commission is very happy over its new role as a matchmaker, and will attempt to convince other young women of the advantages of marrying those who had heretofore just been using them.

Good job!

Saudi Vice, episode 30: That old black magic

From the Saudi Gazette:

After a two-year trial, a Madina court sentenced a Lebanese man, 47, to death Monday for practicing black magic.

The court held 10 hearing sessions to review the list of charges presented by the general prosecutor including using black magic, fraud, and breaking up marriages, which the man admitted.

The man, who had appeared on satellite channels practicing black magic, was caught red-handed in a hotel room in the Central Area in Madina two years ago with herbs, talismans, and some papers with strange drawings and writings.

The man has the right to appeal the sentence within 33 days. The Court of Cassations will review the sentence for approval.

I couldn't find anything in amnesty International about this specific type of sentence in Saudi Arabia, although it does mention

Saudi Arabian judges have wide discretion and can hand down death sentences for vaguely-worded and non-violent offences. Some migrant workers are reported to have even been unaware that they had been sentenced to death until the very morning of their execution.

See how efficient the Muttawa is? Too bad their Facebook page isn't more popular. Could be because they censor anyone who insults them (the heckler I mentioned this morning has disappeared from their Facebook wall.)

Lance Burton, stay out of the Middle East!

Saudi Vice, episode 29: The Magic Kingdom

A few times a week, our heroes at the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice arrest practitioners of a truly horrible crime: magic.

Magic, of course, is not allowed under Shari'a law. What is strange though is how many Saudi Muslims seem to believe in magic anyway.

Here are some articles from just the past couple of weeks in the Saudi Gazette:

An Arab-African male accused of “conning clients” with his claims to magic powers enabling him to “break spells, win over hearts, and divide couples” [was arrested by] the Commission for Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice (Hai’a) in Makkah Tuesday.

The Makkah Hai’a spokesman said that the detained man managed to obtain “large sums of money” from “women and innocent people” through his claims to have superhuman powers. The spokesman thanked the public for their help in detaining the man and their “understanding of the role of the men of the Hai’a in containing unwanted phenomena”.

Here was a sting to catch the criminal in the act:

The Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice (Hai’a) in Jeddah arrested an African man and handed him over to police in the Al-Jami’a district of the city Sunday on accusations of practicing magic. A Hai’a official was sent to the man, who claimed to be able to break spells, posing as a client seeking a solution to a marital problem in order to expose his activities. Hai’a spokesman Salim Al-Sarawani said the magic practitioner extracted prayer beads from his pocket and muttered unintelligible phrases before asking his client for his name, the name of his wife, and 1,000 riyals. He then promised that the issue would come to an end within three days. As the fees for his services were being handed over Hai’a officials made the arrest and transferred the man to police authorities.

The vigilance against magic extends to the regular police, who call the Muttawa for backup:

Police patrols attending the scene of a minor accident in the north of Qassim Saturday called in the Hai’a after finding one of the driver’s cases to be “full of talismans and items used in acts of magic.” Officials conducted a search after noticing the driver’s “nervous behavior” and took the man to Qasiba’ Police Station where the Hai’a were summoned to “take a look at the contents of the case and check if they were used for practicing magic.”

The magicians manage to penetrate the highest levels of Saudi society:

The Commission for Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice (Hai’a) in Jeddah detained Monday an African man charged with conducting acts of black magic and sorcery on over 50 persons, among them businessmen, local officials and scholars. A Hai’a raid uncovered a long list of names, among them women, of persons who he would contact exclusively via mobile telephone text messages in order to maintain secrecy. Also found were numerous books on magic arts and some strange inscriptions. The man was found upon investigation to have been involved in a similar case two years previously.

Plus one more incident that I already posted about.

We are truly fortunate that the Muttawa is vigilant in eradicating the scourge of magic from the Kingdom. But it is an uphill battle...it appears that the number of sorcerers are increasing.

But that couldn't be because these arrests give the magicians and their acts more legitimacy in the eyes of the average Saudi Muslim, and therefore increase the number of potential customers. No, that couldn't be the case.

Saudi Vice, episode 28: Don't brag about sex

Mazen Abdul Jawad is a hip, modern kind of Arab guy. He is macho and proud of it. So proud, that we went on Lebanese TV to brag about his sexual conquests. As Arab News reports:

Mazen Abdul Jawad appeared on the program last week in a red button-down shirt and open collar bragging in graphic detail about his sexual conquests.
In the segment, Abdul Jawad talks about having slept with a neighbor when he was only 14 and how this got him interested in sex. After discussing sex and foreplay in graphic detail and providing a recipe for an aphrodisiac, Abdul Jawad is seen getting into his vehicle at night on a Jeddah street.
“It all starts with turning my Bluetooth on while cruising around in my car,” he tells the camera.

Our heroes, the Saudi Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, sprang into action. How dare a Saudi man go on TV and brag about the women he scored with?

Ahmad Qasim Al-Ghamdi, director of the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice for Makkah, told Arab News that speaking so openly about vice is a punishable offense and that everyone involved with the broadcast is culpable.

“It is wrong to host people on television to speak publicly about vice and issues against our religion,” he said. “The program presents anomalies and deviancy in society that are unacceptable and immoral and should be punished according to Shariah.”

For Abdul Jawad to be punished on the basis of admitting to pre-marital sex he would have to confess in a court-approved manner.

However, speaking publicly about vice is also a punishable offense. Both offenses are subject to lashing and/or jail time at the discretion of the court.

The world is a little safer now, thanks to our heroes at the Muttawa!

Saudi Vice, episode 28: Helping kids can be a crime

In the magic kingdom of Saudi Arabia, one can never be too careful in avoiding sin. Even acts that might look like they are laudatory may in fact just be fronts for perverted actions, and it is better to stay on the safe side rather than risk doing something awful...like Khilwa.

Khilwa, of course, is the illegal seclusion of a man and a woman, and something that our heroes, the Saudi Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, is highly attuned to. Even the faintest odor of khilwa can cause the religious police to swoop down and take charge - in the name of protecting the innocent girl, of course.

From the Saudi Gazette:

The former neighbor of two homeless girls and their brother who he took into his home while attempting to find them suitable care through official channels has described his dismay at facing a month in prison after the Commission for Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice (Hai’a) charged him with khilwa, or illegal seclusion with non-related members of the opposite sex.

“It is ironic that I now face a month in prison after the Hai’a arrested me for being in illicit seclusion with the girls,” said the former neighbor of the 13 and 14-year-old girls and their nine-year-old brother. “The case is still being looked into by a court in Makkah.”

The children had been living on the street after being abandoned by the uncle in whose custody they had been placed following their father’s imprisonment and their mother’s remarriage, until their former neighbor saw their plight and took them into his home with his own family while the Ministry of Social Affairs resolved the issue.

He has now spent nearly a year trying to resolve the situation through the Ministry of Social Affairs, the Committee for the Care of Prisoners, and Makkah’s Social Protection Home.

An official from Makkah Social Affairs, which has taken up the case, said the children had been subjected to violence by their uncle, and that an application for urgent shelter had been submitted to the Ministry of Social Affairs.

Indeed, from the Commission's perspective, it is far safer for two teenage girls to live on the street than to be taken into the house of a caring neighbor. Because that neighbor could be a pervert.

You might ask, who has such a twisted mind as to even consider that the girls could be molested by their neighbor? The answer, again, lies with our heroes, who only have the best interests of the girls at heart. If they can imagine it with their clean Koranic minds, it must be true.

Saudi Vice, episode 27: The Big Brother Shopping Mall

Al-Arabiya reports that the Saudi Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice is soon to gain a new weapon in protecting Saudis from the horror of indecent behavior:

Saudi Arabia's religious police caused a stir this week after they told a parliament session they planned to install cameras in shopping malls to monitor and catch people committing what they labeled as "indecent behavior."

But the religious police defended their suggestion, which they said they were asked to do by the mall administrators.

"Firstly the decision is still open for discussion," Abdul-Mohsen al-Qafari, a spokesman for the religious police, said, adding "mall security officers will be in charge of surveillance and only in case violations or suspicious behavior would they contact the committee."

The committee's deputy chief, Ibrahim bin Suleiman al-Howaimel, denied press reports that the Shura Council had rejected the decision and said only some members had reservations.

Howaimel added that so far surveillance cameras have been a success in several malls in the capital of Riyadh and the holy city of Mecca, where cameras were installed two years ago.

"The decision aims at making the committee do its job as it is supposed to be by monitoring people's behavior. This is for the benefit of everyone," he added.

The committee has field officers all over the kingdom and their job is to make sure that unrelated men and women do not mingle and that stores close during prayer times. They also cooperate with the police to combat the use of alcohol and drugs.

Our heroes at the Muttawa have their defenders for this idea as well, as this letter to the Arab News attests:

Some say the commission is trying to strengthen its presence and power in malls by taking away personal freedoms. But are these cameras any different from security cameras aimed at preventing theft? Why do some consider cameras for monitoring sexual harassment a bad idea?

In Islam, protecting a person’s dignity is very important. So which is more important: monitoring against shoplifting or guarding against the theft of a woman’s dignity?

Fairness demands that we look at this issue with logic and reason. I am sure the commission is not going to use these cameras to blackmail shoppers or violate their freedoms. There are many women who in the Arabic press call for installing cameras in streets and shopping places to put an end to sexual harassment.

The letter writer is right - the religious police wouldn't even think of violating people's freedoms.

He leaves one question unanswered, tough: if the reason the Saudis force women to wear burqas and abayas is to make them immune from sexual harassment, why is there still so much sexual harassment that forces the Muttawa to install cameras? Has any study been done that shows a correlation of Muslim women dressing modestly and their safety from harassment? Or, perhaps, a reverse correlation?

UPDATE: The Muttawa now denies any plans to install such cameras. It now is focusing on the next real threat: immoral haircuts and jewelry:

Al-Homayyel said the Hai’a would work with the ministries of Education, Culture and Information, Municipal and Rural Affairs, and the General Presidency of Youth Welfare to fight alien customs such as “strange hairstyles, western clothes and sexual harassment.”

The Strategic Studies Center affiliated to the Hai’a has conducted a series of studies on what it called “alien habits” manifested in haircuts and neck chains worn by some teenagers influenced by Western fashion.

Saudi Vice, episode 26: Blind Date

From the Saudi Gazette:

A first date turned into a disaster for a 40-year-old college teaching assistant who was arrested here Saturday for being in illegal seclusion (or Khalwa) with an unrelated woman, authorities said.

The Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, known as the Hai’a, received a report of an unrelated couple inside a mall restaurant and rushed to the scene to investigate, a Hai’a official said.

When the Hai’a asked the man about his relationship with the woman, he showed them his family registry card, claiming that the woman was his wife.

The Hai’a officers then backed off, but they were not convinced. They kept a close eye on the couple.

The academic soon accompanied the woman to a mall gate. Noticing that she was preparing to leave the place on her own, the Hai’a officers stopped him and questioned his relationship with the woman once more.

That was when he admitted that she was his girlfriend.

The man was taken to the Hai’a office where he admitted that he was on his first date with the woman. He told the Hai’a officials that their relationship started through an Internet messenger service.

During the investigation, the man said that he had come all the way to Hail to meet up with woman as a first step toward marriage.

The man was then taken to a police station where he was detained. The woman was released.

Our heroes from the Saudi Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice know how dangerous mall restaurants can be to the sanctity of women's virtue. Perhaps saying that khalwa means real seclusion is good enough for those Muslim posers in Dubai and Jordan, but our Saudi Muslim vice-cop heroes know that any man within twenty meters of a woman has the potential of ripping her clothes off and violating her right then and there.

And how do they know it? Because that's' what they fantasize about, 24/7!

Other episodes here.

Saudi Vice, episode 25: The Exorcists

Life for our heroes at the Saudi Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice is not all fun and games. Sure, they will engage in high speed car chases to catch unmarried couples alone, or arrest people who allegedly cursed Mohammed, but sometimes they have very serious and complex cases as well.

Here is the sad story of witchcraft and sorcery, as recounted by the Saudi Gazette:

AL-QUWAI’IAH – Two Indonesian housemaids, identified as Suma Rini and Warnah Madthaying, cast a total of 55 spells on three families in Al-Quwai’iah. As a result of their sorcery, a boy was hospitalized for more than two months, a girl and some members of her family slipped into a coma and others were afflicted with different kinds of illnesses and pain.

According to Saudi national, S.Dh., the family’s tragedy began with the illness of one of their sons who was hospitalized in King Fahd Medical City Hospital for two months. When the housemaid, Suma Rini, visited the boy in the hospital, she told his mother that the boy was not in need of doctors or a hospital because he had a Satan in him, and that the boy’s eyes were a clear indication of this.

The housemaid’s words caused the mother to become suspicious, and she continued to press the housemaid for the reasons behind what she had said. The housemaid said that when she was in Indonesia, she used to read a book on sorcery, magic and conjuring the jinn. This created doubts which increased when one of the family’s relatives visited the boy in order to recite verses of the Holy Qur’an.

When the recitation began, the housemaid ran away saying that everything had become dark, which only increased the family’s suspicions. This led the family to conclude that all that was happening was in some way because of the housemaid.

As a result, the family decided to begin discussing the matter with the housemaid in a way which would not arouse her suspicions in order to discover what secrets she was hiding.

The housemaid was reassured that no harm would come to her, and she was also tempted with a fake check for a large amount of money and with air tickets.

At that point, she admitted that she had cast spells on the whole family, each member with a special charm according to what she wanted from him or her. She also said that she was able to cast spells but did not know how to undo them. The family agreed to give her even larger amounts of money provided she showed them where she had placed the magic charms so that they could find another person who was able to undo them.

What should a family do in such circumstances? Who has the specialized training necessary to fix powerful, magic spells - and put the maid in jail?

Why, it must be our heroes of the Muttawa!

The family informed the security authorities in Al-Quwai’iah and two staff members of the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice came to the family’s house. The housemaid then showed them 15 places in the house where she had put charms, which the Commission staff removed and undid. In her charms and spells, the housemaid had used pins, nails, broken glass, clothes hangers and symbols that no one could understand. The Saudi national, S.Dh., said Suma Rini was then taken to the police station and her confessions were attested at Al-Quwai’iah Court in the presence of translators.

On asking Suma Rini about another housemaid named Warnah Madthaying working in the home of S.Dh.’s sister, she indicated that Madthaying was also involved in sorcery. The same method was used to lure Madthaying until she finally admitted casting spells in the sister’s and brother’s home. She showed the Commission staffers 40 different locations where she had hidden these spells and they were removed and undone.

While sorcery is strictly forbidden in the Holy Quran, apparently the purest of the pure and the holiest of the holy do have the esoteric knowledge needed to undo the effects of sorcery. Luckily, they also have the power to put away the evil Indonesian maids forever!

Once again, we must thank Allah for the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, keeping people safe from magic and evil jinns!

Saudi Vice, episode 24: Wild college women

Al Yamamah College, a Saudi Arabian institution of advanced learning, hosted a British University Fair last Sunday. At this fair, representatives of 25 British universities could interact with potential students and tell them all about their programs, and the students could ask questions.

The organizers of the fair might have had good educations, but they didn't think about the moral implications of such a sinful gathering:

* Some of the British representatives were - women!
* Some of the potential Saudi students were - women!

Our heroes at the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice wasted no time to stop this outrage. They barged into the fair, posing as government representatives, and immediately demanded that any Saudi women attendees leave the fair immediately.

They then went to the British whores, I mean, university representatives, and told them to stop all their interactions with the remaining male students.

The British fair organizers caved to the clear moral imperatives that the Muttawa politely demanded of them and told their women to leave the fair.

Thanks to our heroes, Saudi women cannot go abroad to study, where they would inevitably become corrupted by the evil infidels, and virtuous Saudi men cannot be seduced by the loose British women who dare enter Saudi Arabia under the pretense of marketing their universities, those dens of iniquity.

And Saudi Arabia is safe and moral again!

Previous episodes can be seen here.

Saudi Vice, episode 23: Girls just want to have fun

It is, of course, axiomatic that women cannot enjoy themselves at parks in Saudi Arabia, because of the high risk that their laughing and enjoyment will drive any men who are nearby into a sexual frenzy that will force them to rape and ravage the young ladies. They must be protected, after all.

To solve this problem, a number of women decided to build their own woman-only park in Yanbu. It featured a health and sports club as well as Islamic lectures for women and other cultural events. It employed some 60 women and was a huge success.

This was not good enough for our heroes, the Commission for Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice. The Commission had received complaints about this facility, and moved immediately to shut it down.

What were the complaints? That residents nearby were hearing - gasp! - loud music and singing!

One would think that a warning would be given, but our heroes at the Muttawa know that such unacceptable behavior demands swift action. The very thought that perhaps men would hear this singing made this a matter of urgency, and it is better for the women of Yanbu to be without any place to unwind then to subject residents to a single syllable of a woman's voice.

The park is now closed, and sixty women are unemployed. And the city of Yanbu is now a bit safer from the temptations of vice, thanks to our heroes!

Saudi Vice, episode 22: A Hard Day's Night

A vigilant citizen of Saudi Arabia, who moonlights as an informant for the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, suspected something was amiss at his local pharmacy. Something was wrong.

Something was haraam.

The patriotic citizen suspected that the pharmacy was selling "unlicensed" anti-impotence drugs.

To make things even worse, these sales were occurring in the Holy City of Mecca (Makkah).

If these had been any other kinds of unlicensed drugs, no doubt the citizen would have reported it to the local police. But since these drugs are associated with behavior that could be considered immoral (if you have a particularly dirty mind,) he instead called the Religious Police.

Our heroes of the Muttawa wasted no time in rising to the challenge.

They arranged a "sting" operation that was sure to be painful for the violator.

A member of the religious police, no doubt whistling while trying to act nonchalant, asked the pharmacist is he had any medicines that could help his embarrassing erectile dysfunction problem.

The pharmacist insisted he had no such drugs.

But our undercover hero returned, whining about his inability to perform and begging for any help the druggist could provide to prevent this man's eternal shame and dishonor. When couched in such terms, the pharmacist had no choice but to try to accommodate the request, so he sent a trusted aide to fetch the magic pills from a warehouse.

Upon the assistant's return, the trap was sprung. A team of highly-trained religious police swooped down and arrested the pharmacist and his assistant. They also raided the warehouse and confiscated large quantities of similar contraband, so they can destroy it (or, perhaps, use them for purely scientific experiments - double blind studies and the like.)

Thanks to the Muttawa, the holy streets of Mecca are once again safe from horny Saudis.

All Saudi Vice episodes can be seen here. With this 22nd episode, we now have an entire season of SV!

Saudi Vice, episode 21: Marriage is no defense

Our heroes at the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice know well how devious sinners can be. Some unmarried couples who may want to spend time together alone - which is the grievous sin of khulwa - will pretend to be married in order to keep the virtuous vice police off their backs.

So it is simple Muttawa logic that any man and woman who are alone must be unmarried!

This is why the Commission dispatched one of their ubiquitous white SUVs to Al-Jurf, west of Medina, to chase a couple in a car who were acting suspiciously - by being alone with each other at 1 AM.

As the Arab News reports:

“As we were driving home, my husband and I realized we were being followed by three men in a car,” said the woman, who did not want her name published. “They were coming from both sides of the car and (at one point in the chase) were also in front of our car. I was afraid of having an accident. The whole scene looked just like something in a movie.”
She also said that because no police officer was accompanying the three members of the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, her husband was afraid to stop. Eventually, the commission vehicle got in front of the car they were pursuing and forced the couple to stop, according to the woman.
Abdullah Al-Zahrani, the head of the Madinah branch of the commission, confirmed to Arab News yesterday that the commission was tailing the couple, but he maintains that the three commission members did not abuse the suspects. He also claims that the two are not married.
“The woman is neither his wife nor his cousin,” said Al-Zahrani.
According to the woman, she and her husband had been visiting her husband’s family and decided to return home late at night.
After the two were pulled over, said the woman, “one of them pulled my arm and was shouting at me, telling me to get into their car. I was shocked. How could a man from the commission touch a woman when he is not her mahram (a woman’s legal male escort or guardian)? He ordered me to get into the commission car and said they would keep everything secret in order to protect my reputation.”
The commission considers unrelated men and women in cars to be committing the moral crime of khulwa.
The woman said that her husband objected to her treatment, and asked the men to take him in custody instead. At that point, the woman said an older man who happened to be passing by intervened and protested against the commission members touching a woman, “but the commission member told him that I had forced him to do so.”
The woman says that two of the commission members got into her husband’s car with her and accused her of being an immoral woman for being out late at night with an unrelated man. The members of the commission also said that the woman had committed a crime and that she therefore deserved to be punished.
“This is the first time I have seen anything like this,” she said. “The members refused to come to the police during the investigation and said that I had insulted them. I did no such thing; I simply told them over and over: ‘I swear to God that I am this man’s wife.’”
The woman said that after hearing what had happened, her brothers went to the commission branch in Al-Jurf, furious and telling the commission members to stay away from their sister.
She said a commission member then hit one of her brothers and broke his nose.
“My brother became unconscious and an ambulance came and took him to the hospital,” she said.

Stupid unmarried woman! Doesn't she realize that the Commission is allowed to break Islamic law in order to uphold Islamic law?

It would be outrageous to think that Muttawa members go into that profession because they are a bunch of perverts who want to project their own desires and actions on others. Injuring, lying, khulwa, touching women - all are perfectly allowed for Commission members in their zeal to stop others from khulwa and touching women.

Our heroes have prevented another moral crime, and Saudi Arabia is a better place today because of their love of Sharia.

Saudi Vice, episode 20: Wear any color as long as it is black

The Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice has been under pressure lately. Saudi newspapers have been criticizing it, their members have been associated with murdering and fatal high speed chases, and in general the religious police have felt that their grip on power has been slipping, and with it the morals of the entire great country of Saudi Arabia.

To counteract this, they have been stepping up their activities against the most immoral and depraved of Saudi society - the shopkeepers who sell adorned abayas:

In an attempt to reassert their power, Saudi Arabia’s religious police have ordered shopkeepers in downtown Riyadh to get rid of all adorned abayas, the black robes worn by women in the kingdom, as shopping picks up ahead of the Eid religious holidays next week.

Salesmen in Al-Maagaliah market, just across the block from the headquarters of the religious police, or mutawa’a, this week were turning away frustrated shoppers who wanted abayas with a hint of colour or decoration, telling them that shopowners could face fines or prison.

In recent years, the signature flowing robe that covers Saudi women from head to toe started to show some form with trimmed sleeves, beads or colour, a sign of relaxation of the strict social norms in the conservative kingdom.

Though the changes were subtle, abayas provoked a tug of war between the liberal voices lobbying to give women more choice and conservative religious institutions determined to impose their austere ways through the religious police.

Liberal commentators say the religious police who roam shopping malls and public places are using the crackdown to demonstrate their continued authority after recent moves that have curbed their arbitrary powers.

After allegations of gross violations of human rights led to media uproar, the mutawa’a have been banned from chasing suspects without an escort from the regular police. They have also been forced to carry government-issued identification cards.

Women’s rights activists, however, are concerned that the crackdown on the abaya marks a setback after early symbolic gains achieved since King Abdullah came to power in 2005.

“They [the mutawa’a] want women to be faceless, nameless and shrouded in blackness,’’ said Samar Falan, a women’s rights activist and writer based in the city of Jeddah.

“We kept quiet when we should have confronted the radicals. I believe Muslim women should dress modestly and cover their hair, but they do not have to look gruesome.”

“They should focus on fighting vices, not women,’’ says Buthaina Nassr, another activist. “I do not understand why they force us to wear black in such a hot country while men can wear white.”

In other Sharia news, Saudi Arabia announced that terrorism suspects will be tried in Sharia courts.

Which means that if the terrorists memorize enough of the Quran, they should be able to get out of jail earlier.

Saudi Vice, episode 19: Sacrilegious sister

The lives of the prestigious members of the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice are not easy. All day they have to be on the alert, patrolling the streets of Saudi Arabia with an eagle eyes, tuned in the slightest hint of impropriety among the thankful Saudi populace.

But sometimes, the whiff of vice hits too close to home, and the results can be tragic.

In this case, one of our heroes, an upstanding member of the Muttawa, found out a terrible secret that his sister had been keeping from him:

She had converted to Christianity.

The woman, named Fatma Al-Matairi, confided in her brother about her terrible secret, secure in the knowledge that he would be understanding and supportive.

Little did the 26-year old know that her brother, as a member of the Commission, has a much higher moral code than just brotherhood and support. Converting to Christianity is blasphemy, and is punishable by death.

So he killed her.

Now, Saudi Arabia has one less blasphemer, and our hero can sleep well knowing he did the right thing.

UPDATE: It appears that it was her father that was a member of the Muttawa, and he cut out her tongue before burning her to death.