Elder Of Ziyon - Israel News: offbeat

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Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Mideast Place Names and Their Translations (cartoon)

I actually saw this on an antisemitic blog among lots of reprehensible cartoons. I don't think the blogger quite got the joke. It originated at a wonderful blog called Diversity Lane that is unfortunately no longer active. But the cartoonist there is awesome. Check this out: ...

Funny Israeli Shabbat video

If you aren't a religious Jew you might miss some jokes, but it is still funny. English transcript below. Narrator: Givat Shmuel, a heavily populated concrete jungle located in the heart of Gush Dan. A National Geographic camera crew is observing a typical pack of the wild “Dati” [Orthodox] tribe. It’s 5 o’clock on a Friday afternoon and the pack is preparing for its weekly gathering. The Sha–bat ceremony. The alpha male howls, apparently...

The strange case of the Gaza Apollo statue (update)

Repubblica reports on a remarkable find made last month by a Gaza fisherman named Mounir. Caught in his fishing net was a life-size, gold colored statue of Apollo, that had been buried in the sand for some 2500 years. His first concern was whether it was made out of pure gold that he could sell. Since one cannot secretly carry around a huge statue in Gaza, Mounir...

Rabbi brothers singing "Sounds of Silence" on Israeli talent show (video, updated)

This is very cool, although their accents sometimes get in the way: Somehow, I don't think that they're going to cover "Ceclia" though... UPDATE: They are apparently well-known street musicians, called The Breslov Brothers, and have even covered....Pink Floyd! They don't have to worry about Roger Waters dropping by to listen, though! Also check out their Tears in Heaven. (h/t Malca...

Hatikva for Dummies

Silly stuff for Friday afternoon. (h/t Yerushalimey...

People excited about Thanksgivnukah

The mainstream media has finally noticed: It's a turkey. It's a menorah. It's Thanksgivukkah! An extremely rare convergence this year of Thanksgiving and the start of Hanukkah has created a frenzy of Talmudic proportions. There's the number crunching: The last time it happened was 1888, or at least the last time since Thanksgiving was declared a federal holiday by President...

Gulf states to consider "clinical tests" to ban homosexual visa seekers

From Kuwait Times: Gulf states plan to study a project which will identify homosexuals and transgender individuals through a ‘clinical test’ which will be added to the list of medical tests one has to undergo to obtain a visa. If individuals are revealed to be homosexual or transgender, they will be denied entry into the country, a local daily reported yesterday, quoting a senior official in Kuwait’s Ministry of Health. “Homosexuals and ‘third-sex’...

The latest Zio-Bio-weapon: Settler Feces!

Hilarity from Palestine National News: Israel Uses Settler Feces as Bio-Warfare ISRAELI SOLDIERS USE FECES TO ATTACK HUNDREDS OF VILLAGERS AND PEACEFUL PROTESTERS OUTSIDE THE WEST BANK VILLAGE OF NABI SALEH. Muki Najaer / PNN Exclusive Israeli Occupation Force (IOF) uses feces of Israeli residents and settlers as a form of bio-warfare against Palestinian farmers in the...

"Jewish UN wants to destroy Syria to fulfill Isaiah prophecy, take over world"

Here's a new twist on the usual Arab antisemitic conspiracy theories. The official Syrian RTV agency says that Syria is the last obstacle for Jews to finally take over the world. All you need to do is read the Bible, the Talmud, and (of course) the Protocols of the elders of Zion, and it all makes perfect sense. The pre-war on Syria, and the current war on Syria, is World War III. We live the war and pay for it and most of us do not know the...

Egyptian paper compares Islamists, unfavorably, with Jews

An article in al-Mogaz looks at the supposed similarities between Islamists and Israel. After a brief history of how Arabs grabbed Jewish-controlled cities in Arabia ( if I am reading it correctly, he seems to imply that their actions were illegitimate!) he discusses how Israel exists, in his mind, by using religious justification and a feeling of superiority to justify its creation. He then says that the Islamists, like the Muslim Brotherhood,...

Saudi sheikh warns that driving damages women's ovaries

From Al Arabiya: Saudi women seeking to challenge a de facto ban on driving should realize that this could affect their ovaries and pelvises, Sheikh Saleh bin Saad al-Luhaydan, a judicial and psychological consultant to the Gulf Psychological Association, told Saudi news website sabq.org. Driving “could have a reverse physiological impact. Physiological science and functional medicine studied this side [and found] that it automatically affects...

Qatar Air forces flight attendants to seek permission to get married

And can fire them when they get pregnant. Qatar Airways has come under scrutiny on Wednesday after it was accused of forcing its female workers to seek permission from the company when they decide to get married. In a report released by the International Transport Workers’ Federation (ITF) on Tuesday, the airline was found to also mandate that women tell a supervisor if...

"Sex jihad" (updated x2 - a skeptical view)

From AFP: Tunisia's women's ministry said Saturday it would come up with a plan to counter the growing number of women traveling to Syria to wage so-called "sex jihad" by comforting militants. Interior Minister Lotfi ben Jeddou told the National Constituent Assembly on Thursday that Tunisian women had gone to Syria where "they have sexual relations with 20, 30, 100" militants. "After the sexual liaisons they have there in the name of 'jihad al-nikah'...

Syria uses Shakespeare to identify as - a Jew?

From City AM: The Syrian parliament appears to have dropped a reference to Shakespeare's "The Merchant of Venice" in a letter to UK MPs. In the second paragraph of a document obtained by Sky News, Mohammad Jihad al-Laham, speaker of the people's assembly of Syria, writes: We write to you as fathers and mothers, as members of families and communities really not so different to yours. We write to you as fellow human beings for, if you bomb us,...

PalArab gets arrested for selling "Morsi" perfume

When you want to smell like an Islamist.... Palestinian security services have arrested an Islamist sympathizer in the West Bank for selling perfume named in honor of Egypt’s ousted President Mohammad Mursi, family members said on Thursday. Islambuli Badir, a 36-year-old member of Islamist movement Hamas, was arrested during a raid on his perfume shop in the town of...

SpongeBob found a new job

Baruch Hashem, Spongebob Squarepants managed to land on his freakishly tiny feet. Last we saw, Spongebob was reduced to begging for money while withering in the heat of Las Vegas after he was suddenly fired from his job at Elder of Ziyon. Well, I placed a few calls within the International Zionist Web, and found a great gig for him - as spokes-sponge for Sabra...

From CNN: Khalas performing in Tel Aviv Two Israeli bands, one Jewish and one Arab, are joining together in "metal brotherhood" to spread a message of peace through rock 'n roll. Arab group Khalas (Arabic for "Enough") and Jewish band Orphaned Land are heading out on an 18-day European tour that they hope will foster tolerance between the two sides in the Arab-Israeli...

Israelis and Palestinian Arabs agree on....K-Pop?

From Al Arabiya: While Israeli and Palestinian delegates return to the negotiating table in a new attempt to find common ground in the Middle East’s most intractable conflict, an entirely different phenomenon is uniting young people in the region, BBC News reported earlier this week. Researchers at the Hebrew University, Jerusalem, say the Korean Wave, or the “Hallyu” movement, is taking off in Israel and the Palestinian territories, the BBC reported...

Dubai couple gets one month prison sentence for kissing

From Gulf News: A 31-year-old banker and her 19-year-old colleague have been given a one-month sentence each after they were caught kissing in a tinted car behind a mosque in Al Muhaisna. An Omani man was said to have spotted the Emirati woman’s car with its engine on and parked suspiciously between two trucks. The man claimed that he saw a couple clutching intimately...

Erdogan's team fixated on telekinesis

This is bizarre: The suspicious suicides of four engineers working at the Turkish corporation ASELSAN could have been caused by telekinesis, according to a report by the Turkish Prime Ministry Inspection Board. The report, presented to the Ankara Public Prosecutor in accordance with the ongoing investigation over the 2006-2007 suicides, claimed the victims could have been directed toward the suicides by way of telekinesis, citing the work done...