Israeli Of 100% Yemeni Jewish Heritage Excited To Be Classified As "Polish" By Anti-Zionists (PreOccupied Teritory)

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Moshav Bareket, July 10 - A resident of this central Israeli community whose grandparents came to the country in 1950 from Yemen, and who traces his ancestry on both sides to the Jews of that southern Arabian kingdom, today admitted feeling a thrill that loud people who hate the Jewish State have categorized him and his entire family as Eastern European settler-colonialists.

Yefet Uzziel, 40, told a reporter yesterday that he plans to apply for a Polish passport, now that people who obviously know their stuff have classified him as such.

"Polish has Europe's fastest-growing economy," he explained. "They don't tolerate woke nonsense the way Western European societies do, and they're really, really good at restricting illegal immigration. On top of that, they're just as suspicious of Putin as I am, and they respect the same wholesome family values as the ones with which my parents raised me, and with which I try to raise my own children."

Uzziel made the remarks after encountering keyboard warriors who urged Israeli Jews to "Go back to Poland" and called Jews "Khazarian imposters." Those epithets prompted him to rethink his assumptions that his unadulterated Yemeni Jewish extraction meant anything.

"Anti-Zionists are among the most intelligent and educated people," he noted. "And the most moral. I almost forgot to include that. If they call Israeli Jews Poles, we'd best listen. Anti-Zionists are never wrong. So next week, or as soon as I can mange, I'm making an appointment in Tel Aviv at the Polish embassy to start processing my paperwork."

"What do you think? Warsaw? Krakow? Torun?" Uzziel mused. "I can see the benefits of the cities, but I also hear the Polish countryside is beautiful and bucolic. Might have to make a pilot trip."

Uzziel is hardly alone in exploring that avenue in the wake of anti-Zionists exposing the Khazarian truth of Jewish origins. Shlomo Aflallo, who came to Israel from Ethiopia as a child in the 1980's, hopes to secure Ukrainian citizenship.

"I'm a Khazar," he insisted, pointing to a post on social media by a pro-Palestinian activist. "I've been lied to my whole life, and I want to do the right thing. Ignore my melanin. I'm as Eastern European as they come. Jews aren't Jews. Palestinians are the real Jews. Look at all the Jewish traditions and culture they've preserved since ancient times. really, I don't know what any of us were thinking all those generations, longing for a place we'd never been in, unlike fourth-generation Palestine Refugees in camps in Lebanon."

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