Friday, October 10, 2025
Elder of Ziyon
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Gaza City, October 10 - After more than two years of waiting and frustration, an Islamist militant received orders to don feminine clothing for purposes of avoiding detection while setting up an explosive mine targeting Israeli soldiers, at long last giving him an opportunity to indulge his suppressed transvestite side, the man disclosed in a discreet setting today.
Jedgar Hufr, 28, gushed with excitement and relief this morning upon confiding that, finally, he could dress like a woman and not be judged or persecuted for it in this staunchly-conservative, Islamist society.
"I can't believe this day has come," he effused. "You have no idea what kind of torment it is to suppress this part of me. I need to feel who I really am, and who I really am is a woman named Fatima. Sometimes it's a woman named Aisha. The point is, I need to express my sexuality in ways that others find... unusual. I've been volunteering forever for these missions, but only now has the Resistance run out of experienced IED personnel, and now it actually is up to me. I'm so, so excited."
"I mean," he added, "I'm also thrilled to be doing my part to liberate Palestine and hurt the Jews. Of course. That goes without saying. Of course."
Hufr already has specific ideas for what to wear during the mission. "My sister has this maroon and navy number that's just..." he mimicked a chef's kiss. "I know the shoes don't matter for a getup like this, but I have just the pair in mind."
"You can tell I've been thinking about this for a long time," he acknowledged with a blush visible even on his swarthy face.
Hufr's skill set and training did not include planting IED's until last month, when IDF operations had so depleted Hamas's ranks that his unit commander ordered emergency measures to retrain men for multiple roles. His trainer fell to an IDF sniper after a mere two days of instruction - but Hufr feels confident he needs little to no help on the incognito aspects of the role, given his proclivity towards garments that conceal his sex - and even his face, if he chooses traditional sartorial modesty.
His first mission is scheduled for tomorrow night, prompting some nervous jitters, but mostly stemming from the undecided question of which lace undergarments to wear, and whether the ones he secretly wears already will suffice or should he find new ones for the occasion.
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