Thursday, August 22, 2024
Elder of Ziyon
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Haifa, August 25 - Labor unrest at Israel's busiest port has rendered useless an intelligence-gathering effort by the regime in Tehran to identify and exploit vulnerabilities in the facility, an operative acknowledged today.
Three undercover Iranian spies found their espionage work impossible to accomplish over the last five weeks since gaining access to the port, the leader of the group disclosed Thursday, because the place remains perpetually on strike.
"I don't know how any imports end up in the country," admitted Mohsen Najad, 40. "We've seen some office personnel and a couple of emergency maintenance folks come through, but no one's done a lick of actual work in all the time I've been here. I can't find out a scrap of the information I'm supposed to collect on capacities, security, inspections, technology, or logistics. My contact in Beirut is getting annoyed."
His comrades, who, under mission orders, must not be seen to come in contact with him, shared similar concerns. "I've been having a wonderful time off from work, since the union decided no one sets foot there," he conceded. "But at a certain point a guy's gotta do his job, and I can't do my job without doing my other job. It's going to look suspicious, eventually, when I haven't been paid but can still afford to live."
The man appeared unaware that union power in Israel has guaranteed wages for port workers far in excess of basic expenses, and that regardless, Israelis tend not to pay much attention to whether their checking account balances are in the black or in the red, and would therefore not notice him living beyond his means.
The third member of the operations team noted that he had to warn the other two, via their indirect communication methods, not to work too hard, exhibit punctuality, or volunteer for any duties beyond the absolute minimum required of their job descriptions. He further cautioned them that performing up to requirement, and not coasting on union protection to maintain job security, would be a surefire way to blow their cover. He cited for them the case of Israeli counterintelligence catching a mole because the foreign agent used correct Hebrew grammar.
"That last bit was an important point, because otherwise we'd have worked hard on mastering proper Hebrew not just for nothing, but it would have compromised everything," acknowledged the team leader.
In the absence of their designated espionage work, the three men have made daily, hours-long trips to various recreational and sensual facilities in Israel and marked the outings as "for research purposes" in the reports to their handlers.
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