Sunday, February 22, 2026
Elder of Ziyon
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The temple's defenses — three trials devised by the Knights Templar to test humility, knowledge, and faith — were famously navigated in 1938 by American archaeologist Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones, Jr., who documented the perils extensively. Jordanian officials now claim a Mossad team, operating under the codename "Eagle," deployed a swarm of compact, AI-guided drones from a hidden vantage point near the Siq entrance, allowing complete avoidance of personal risk or moral reckoning.
"The Zionists have turned sacred trials into child's play with their flying machines," declared Jordanian Minister of Antiquities Khalid al-Fayez at an emergency briefing. "These traps were crafted to humble the arrogant, enlighten the ignorant, and reward the faithful. A drone possesses none of these qualities — yet it simply flies past them all. We condemn this profane bypass and demand the Grail's immediate repatriation."
According to seismic logs and Bedouin reports, the first trial, the "Breath of God," features massive circular blades that decapitate the proud unless the entrant kneels in penitence. A lightweight reconnaissance drone hovered above the mechanism's activation zone, its propellers undisturbed by the wind gusts or cobwebs that signal the trap. "The system demands humility from a human body," noted temple expert Dr. Sallah Mohammed Faisel el-Kahir, whose family aided Jones decades ago. "A machine has no neck to lose, no pride to check. It just proceeds."
The second challenge, the "Word of God," requires stepping only on floor tiles spelling "Jehovah" in Latin; incorrect tiles collapse into a lethal abyss. Drones, bearing no weight, flew directly over the entire tiled corridor without triggering pressure plates or structural failure. Onboard cameras and LiDAR mapped the safe path incidentally, but the mechanism, tuned to human footsteps, remained dormant. "They didn't solve the puzzle," al-Fayez lamented. "They ignored it. Faith is irrelevant when nothing touches the ground. Such sacrilege, however ingenious, is par for the Zionist course."
The final trial, the "Leap of Faith," presents an apparent chasm bridged only by an invisible path visible to the truly believing. A propeller-equipped retrieval drone crossed the void effortlessly, its sensors confirming solidity below while disregarding optical illusions or spiritual conviction. In the Grail chamber, where false cups promise instant death to the unworthy, the drone employed spectral imaging—cross-referenced with declassified excerpts from Jones's 1938 journal—to isolate the authentic simple chalice. A precision magnetic arm retrieved it without the catastrophic aging that claimed a Nazi in the original incursion. The drone dodged the single lunge that the aged knight guarding the hoard could muster, and absconded.
Analysts at the Ravenwood Institute warn that Mossad's possession of the Grail could confer strategic advantages in medical longevity programs or morale operations. "This isn't relic hunting; it's asset acquisition without the heroism," said senior fellow Dr. Marcus Brody III. "Drones democratize the divine—anyone with a controller can claim immortality, no penance required."
Israeli officials rejected the allegations as "recycled fantasy," insisting Jordan prioritize site conservation over conspiracy theories. Jordan has nevertheless petitioned UNESCO and the UN Security Council for intervention, framing the incident as an assault on humanity's shared spiritual heritage. "If soulless machines can seize what tests the soul," al-Fayez asked, "what protections remain against the next theft?"
Further rumors claim the operatives etched a tiny Star of David into the chamber wall, detectable only under blacklight, as a final indignity.
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