Thursday, September 05, 2024

Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory.

Check out their Facebook page.


Tel Aviv, September 5 - Vermin busy consuming the "famine relief" resources at a warehouse in central Israel expressed confidence today that they will have time to eat the entire stock of products, because the organization storing it remains unlikely in the foreseeable future to find a suitable public-relations moment to make an ostentatious demonstration of providing the relief to the starving Palestinians to the south.

Rats, roaches, houseflies, and various other creepy-crawlies made their prediction Thursday afternoon, following months of idleness in the facility rented by the Standing Together movement, which has been laboring to identify and exploit an opportunity to signal their righteousness in as public a fashion as possible by supplying several tons of food to Gaza, where reports of hunger persist despite no actual shortage of food or any spike in the incidence of malnutrition since Israeli operations in the territory began late last year.

"We're pretty sure we can finish all of this before it can be delivered," asserted Remy, the head of a rat clan that now numbers in the thousands. "I wasn't so sure when the food storage began back in February, but back then we were just a handful of rats. In the intervening months we've had help from maggots, cockroaches, ants, and the occasional feral cat. With our reproduction rate and the approaching temperate weather of the autumn, it will take, I should say, no more than six weeks to get through the entire supply."

The other scavengers seconded Remy's assessment, with provisos. "Cold weather might set in and slow us down," cautioned Ahmad, a cockroach. "That could extend the timetable into the winter. There's certainly no air conditioning in here, so I doubt there's going to be heating, either. There's also the remote possibility, though it remains a possibility, that Standing Together will bite the bullet and decide to deliver whatever food is left."

"I admit that latter possibility is a long shot," he acknowledged. "Far-left activism doesn't lend itself to effective aid operations. It's primarily about feeling righteous, not about helping those who need it. I appreciate the selfishness. Game recognize game."

Israeli Arabs who contributed the bulk of the foodstuffs have grumbled about the failed delivery of their donations, while Gazans who have tracked the project continue to complain that the organizers appear more interested in finding ways to create a disruption and media circus to embarrass Israel than in providing any actual aid.

"But we're used to that from our own leaders already," conceded a Deir al-Balah resident.



Buy the EoZ book, PROTOCOLS: Exposing Modern Antisemitism  today at Amazon!

Or order from your favorite bookseller, using ISBN 9798985708424. 

Read all about it here!

 

 



AddToAny

EoZ Book:"Protocols: Exposing Modern Antisemitism"

Printfriendly

EoZTV Podcast

Podcast URL

Subscribe in podnovaSubscribe with FeedlyAdd to netvibes
addtomyyahoo4Subscribe with SubToMe

search eoz

comments

Speaking

translate

E-Book

For $18 donation








Sample Text

EoZ's Most Popular Posts in recent years

Hasbys!

Elder of Ziyon - حـكـيـم صـهـيـون



This blog may be a labor of love for me, but it takes a lot of effort, time and money. For 20 years and 40,000 articles I have been providing accurate, original news that would have remained unnoticed. I've written hundreds of scoops and sometimes my reporting ends up making a real difference. I appreciate any donations you can give to keep this blog going.

Donate!

Donate to fight for Israel!

Monthly subscription:
Payment options


One time donation:

Follow EoZ on Twitter!

Interesting Blogs

Blog Archive