Thursday, January 04, 2024


Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory.

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Kfar 'Aza, January 4 - Scientists have determined that the appropriate units of measurement until narcissistic visitors from abroad begin photographing themselves in flattering poses in front of the locations where two months ago, Palestinian terrorists from the Gaza Strip perpetrated the deadliest and most brutal attack on Jews since the Holocaust, will be months, rather than years or decades.

Observers have noted the much-decried, mostly-teenage phenomenon in which tourists visiting the museum in Poland that marks the site of the Auschwitz-Birkenau camp complex - where Nazis and their collaborators murdered 1.5 million people, mostly Jews - take selfies in irreverent or inappropriate fashion, as if the site were Disneyworld or the Grand Canyon, rather than hallowed ground. Experts now expect the distasteful practice to expand to other sites of mass murder, especially where the victims were mainly Jews.

"The Nazi death camps are established historical sites," noted social psychologist Husana Vabbitch. "The major sites in Poland are state-run museums, with organized programs and facilities and reputations going back decades. The 'Gaza Envelope' where the October 7 massacres took place will take some time to grow into destinations for commemorative visits. Still, it's become the hot thing among politicians, celebrities, and influencers to be seen traipsing around either the NOVA festival venue or one of the affected Envelope communities. Anybody who's anybody has to post images of themselves in helmet and flak jacket, looking concerned or resolved at the carnage Hamas wrought. It's a tiny conceptual and phenomenological leap from there to posing in some other demonstrative way, including duckface or a two-handed 'peace' gesture. I give it a month."

The only reason the narcissistic phenomenon has not already occurred, experts believe, is that the Gaza Envelope remains a closed military zone. Continued missile and mortar bombs threats from the Gaza Strip have emptied even the homes of many survivors of Hamas's murderous, rapacious rampage. Entry to the zone requires IDF approval, and experts assume that restricted access protocols to the area will continue to apply as long as the current IDF ground offensive in the Gaza Strip persists. Israel's official position is that operations will continue until the 130 remaining hostages return to Israel, and until Hamas surrenders its weapons and its control of the territory - which could, in theory, happen tomorrow, but more likely require at least several months to achieve.

Influencers have already begun seeking sponsorships and product promotion arrangements for visits to the Israeli communities adjacent to the Gaza Strip, with an eye toward exploiting the stories of carnage and brutality for online clout.




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