Thursday, February 26, 2026
Elder of Ziyon
Parents Admit ‘Some Concern’ As Gannenet Deploys ED-209 To Guard Bamba
Jerusalem, February 27 - A wave of snack thefts at a local daycare has prompted the preschool teacher to install an enforcement droid to prevent further trespasses, but the unit's reputation for uncompromising implementation of its protocols has some adults in the community wondering whether other, less extreme, options might deserve exploration before this solution gets implemented, lest, for example, a child gets frightened.
Parents of the two dozen children at Gan Esti in the city's Giv'at Massua neighborhood expressed a modicum of anxiety over the use of the Omni Consumer Products ED-209, following at least two instances of children in Esti's care breaking into the cabinet and stealing Bamba.
"We have some concern," acknowledged Yuval Shalev, father of Lihi, 5. "Nobody wants their child consuming too much junk food, and certainly nobody wants their child to learn that stealing is tolerated. Everyone agrees on that. We just think that, maybe, before resorting to a machine that riddles the suspect with hundreds of rounds, continuing even after he's just a convulsing corpse, should sit no higher than, say, ninth of the list of deterrence possibilities."
The preschool teacher, Esti Cohen, defended the decision with characteristic gannenet pragmatism. "Bamba is not just a snack — it's practically a food group," she explained in a brief phone interview. "After the second incident, where little Noam [Sharabi, 4] managed to pry open the cabinet during circle time and distributed half the stash to his friends before I noticed, I realized we needed something more reliable than a child-proof lock. The ED-209 arrived last week from a... surplus supplier. It's programmed for compliance enforcement. Simple."
Cohen emphasized that the unit remains in standby mode during most gan hours, stationed discreetly behind the craft-supply shelf with its massive frame partially concealed by a colorful mural of the Israeli flag and smiling cartoon animals. "We only activate it when there are fewer staff members in the room," she added. "And we've adjusted the protocols — no lethal force unless the offender refuses to return the pilfered bag after verbal warning. It's very reasonable."
Not all parents share that confidence. Michal Levy, mother of twins aged 4, described the robot's arrival as "a bit much, even for Jerusalem standards." She pointed out that the ED-209's distinctive mechanical growl occasionally echoes through the thin walls during naptime, startling some of the younger children awake. "One boy asked if it's a new kind of dinosaur," she said. "We told him it's a very big toy. But honestly? We're worried about the 'twenty seconds to comply' part. Toddlers and preschoolers don't count that well, if at all."
Community WhatsApp groups have lit up with memes: side-by-side photos of the hulking droid looming over innocent orange Bamba bags, captioned with variations on "You have 20 seconds to hand over the puff...." "You are in violation of Gan Protocol III Section 9." Some parents have suggested alternatives —reward charts, a "Bamba honor system," or simply buying more bags to avoid scarcity-driven crime. A few even floated crowdfunding a less aggressive model, perhaps an ED-101 with softer protocols.
Shalev, the father quoted earlier, remains diplomatic but firm. "We're not against innovation," he said. "Israelis love tech. But when the alternative to a five-year-old grabbing an extra handful is hundreds of rounds turning the play area into a crime scene reenactment, maybe we dial it back. Start with a stern look, move up to time-outs, then maybe a locked box. At least in our home, even when he's at his worst, we try to avoid murdering a misbehaving child."
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