Wednesday, August 07, 2019
Akiva Fuld would like you to
believe there’s nothing special about what he’s doing, and he’s right: we
should all be asking each other “What can I do for you, today?” We should all
care enough to ask that question.
What’s different about Akiva
Fuld, to my mind, is the follow-through. And by that, I don’t mean answering a
call for help with whatsoever assistance he is able to offer, though there’s
that, but asking the question in the first place: “What can I do for you,
today?”
Most of us would be terrified
to ask that question, if it even occurred to us to ask it in the first place.
We’d be afraid of getting involved with the messiness of other people’s lives,
of being on the hook for more than we’d bargained. For Akiva Fuld, on the other
hand, it’s a simple thing, no big deal, no daunting prospect, just a
straightforward proposition. Three times a day, he just comes right out and
asks the question, “How can I help you, today?”
That’s how it started, anyway,
though now it’s morphed into something else: Akiva Fuld created a Facebook page
called How can I try
to help you today? The page is open to the public, anyone can join. Anyone
can ask for Akiva Fuld’s help.
Now, Akiva may or may not be
able to help you with your problem. But he’s going to try. And if you think
about it, 45-year-old Akiva Fuld, married for 22 years, and a father of 7 (girl,
boy, girl, boy, girl, boy, girl), is only doing what we all know we should be doing
for each other: caring enough to offer our help and doing our best to follow
through.
This is what it means to be a
good person. And we should all be good people. I think we can learn something
from Akiva Fuld’s example, so I reached out for an interview. Wanting to be
helpful (!), Akiva agreed:
Varda Epstein: Tell us a bit about yourself: where are you from, how
did you end up in Israel?
Akiva Fuld: I was born and
raised in Queens, NY. I made Aliyah at age 23. I guess ending up in Israel
mainly had to do with the kind of upbringing I wanted for my future children. I
was hoping to save my children from a society that was highly influenced by
envy.
Varda Epstein: You started a Facebook group: How can I try to help
you today? Can you tell us about this group?
Akiva Fuld: A few months ago I
started posting those words to my page, and I was getting all sorts of requests
from all over the globe. When I first started noticing the requests begin to
dwindle, I started posting 3 times a day. I began to see a rise in requests.
When I saw them drop off again, I decided to post to groups that were quite
big.
On the first day, many people posted and I helped as many as I could. The second day, again there were many requests, but this time many people started helping others. I guess I felt that I can't help with everything, so I might as well share the opportunity. The truth is that the group is for me to be able to help others. If other people want to help, that's great, if not, I get to keep the opportunities for myself.
Varda Epstein: What made you start the group?
Akiva Fuld: Well there really
were three things that made me start the group. First, I haven’t always been a
big fan of mankind. I'm very optimistic when it comes to Hashem, and yet quite
pessimistic when it comes to mankind. Our ability to cause self-destruction is
staggering. I felt that I needed a way to begin to better like mankind. What
better way to grow to love someone, than to give to them?
Second, we don't charge usury
in Judaism. Aside from the simple reason—Hashem told us not to—if we want a bit
of a logical reason, it seems to me that the money doesn't really being to us,
we are simply guardians. So if we need the money then we use it, if not then we
should make sure someone else can. I feel that it should be the same with time.
And third, certain personal
things happened in the past few years that made me want to work on being a
better person.
Varda Epstein: What do you hope the group will achieve?
Akiva Fuld: I have no real
expectations, and I have no idea where this is going to go. I really would like
to see it be more international, and be able to help many other demographics.
Varda Epstein: How much of your time would you say is occupied with
this endeavor?
Akiva Fuld: Good thing you are
asking me and not my wife or
children. I am spending as much time as I believe I need to, in order to make
sure as many people as possible get the help they need. My wife and kids
believe I am spending WAY too much time on this.
I guess in the end the actual
time calculation comes out about the same—pretty much around the clock. I am
trying to get it down to 2-3 hours in the morning, 2-3 hours in the afternoon,
and 2-3 hours at night. I'm hoping as I bring in more moderators on the page,
that I'll be able to get it down to those numbers.
Varda Epstein: What do you do for a living?
Akiva Fuld: I'm building up my
company - https://fourpathsto.com/ - which
is a new form of communication that I've created, based on recognizing which
one of 4 personalities best describes your audience, and then being able to
change the delivery of your message, not the message itself, to best fit your
audience. This works with audiences from 1 all the way to millions.
Varda Epstein: Do you ever think about the success/fail component to
your offer of help?
Akiva Fuld: Personally I don't
like to fail, so I do put great effort into it, but it will happen from time to
time that I'm not able to help someone. Sometimes it is because I don't have
specific knowledge, and sometimes the person isn't open to creative solutions.
Also, this is why I added the word 'try' to the name of the group. Does it
matter whether or not you are able to help this person or that? Nope. As long
as I try and give it my all. I imagine there are people who would like to know:
how often is he successful. I don't know the answer to that. I'm not keeping
track. I don't see any value in that.
Varda Epstein: What is it about an offer of help that is important?
Akiva Fuld: 1- Listening to
what the person is and isn't saying. 2- Understanding what the person is asking
for. 3- Being able to recognize, and clearly communicate the difference between
the person's 'wants' and 'needs.’ 4- Being able to provide creative solutions
when the situation requires it, and simple solutions, when that is what is
needed. 5- Being able to recognize what the other person needs to hear and how
it needs to be said.
Varda Epstein: What should others take away from your perspective on
extending help?
Akiva Fuld: 1- Sometimes people
simply need an ear, and sometimes they need more than that. And 2- it is only
on one to try.
Varda Epstein: What is your ultimate goal for you and for your people?
Akiva Fuld: For me it is to
keep on helping until people don't need to ask anymore. Also it might be nice
SOMEDAY (NOT NOW) to have a discretionary fund to help out some of the people
who need financial assistance. But I am in no rush. I honestly don't know what
the other group members hope to achieve. I'm doing this for me.
