Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory.
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Tel Aviv, April 14 - Leaders of the country's most progressive parties came to the sobering conclusion this week that while Continental governments invest tens of millions of Euros to advance regional goals congruent with the sensibilities of those progressive parties - and at odds with the majority of the country's electorate - the same governments and intergovernmental organizations can submit not a single legal ballot in the Jewish State's elections, creating some tension between those governments' declared goal of promoting democracy and the de facto outcome of thwarting the democratically-expressed will of the aforementioned electorate - and generating discomfort for the progressives who also claim the mantle of safeguarding democracy from the authoritarian, fascist demagogues who refuse to accept progressive assumptions.
Benny Ganz, Yair Golan, Merav Michaeli, and other prominent figures on the left side of Israel's political spectrum voiced their dismay over the last several days upon either being informed or discovering on their own that the projects, programs, initiatives, and movements that their friends in the European Union and its various constituent governments fund in amounts that would make Sheldon Adelson blush even in death, grant the EU and its members no right to vote in Israel, despite their manifest correctness as demonstrated by agreeing with Israeli leftists.
"It's shocking," acknowledged Ganz of the Blue and White Party, a former IDF Chief of Staff whose left-wing views made him noticeably less popular as a politician than when wearing the uniform forced him to keep political opinions to himself. "All the money these Europeans have must mean they have the correct opinions and policies - otherwise, my assumption that I'm right by virtue of my generous guaranteed pension might also require reexamination, as as every Israeli leftist knows, reexamining your political assumptions - if done honestly, anyway - is a dangerous thing. So we avoid that. The point is, the Europeans are right about so much, and I say this only partially because I want to get my hands on some of that largesse, but it's frustrating because all that money doesn't buy seats in the Knesset, would you believe? It seems wrong."
"What? No, you must have that wrong," said a bewildered Yair Golan of Meretz, also a former senior IDF staff officer. "That's not my understanding at all. I was under the impression that we career officers-cum-politicians naturally know better than hoi polloi, who probably don't even know the difference between Mercedes and BMW. I know, I feel the same disgust as you, I assure you."
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