Thursday, March 24, 2022

Advocate Of Sanctions On Apartheid, Terrorist-Run, Anti-Palestinian Mideast State Realizes He Means Lebanon (PreOccupied Territory)

Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory.

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black manNew York, March 24 - An activist campaigning for economic, cultural, diplomatic, and other measures against a Levantine country for its structurally-discriminatory policies against a significant minority within its borders, a minority that has suffered displacement for decades, on top of which the country's government lies under effective control of a violent ideological group at the root of so much regional unrest and suffering, had an epiphany today during which he understood he must target Beirut and those who underwrite its dysfunction if he wishes to address the primary injustice he sees in the world.

Chico Howell, 25, of Midwood, Brooklyn, shared his realization Thursday with fellow activists, to some confusion and much anger. "They don't want to hear it," he discovered. "Like, our function as social justice advocates is to fight for the oppressed, and Palestinians in Lebanon face far more oppression from Hezbollah-run Lebanon than even their fellow 'refugees' under Israeli control - of which there are none under direct Israeli control, would you believe? I mean, I know lots of my colleagues like to define 'occupation' and 'control' flexibly, so that Zionists can be blamed whichever way you slice it, but have you seen the restrictions on employment and education that Lebanon places on Palestinian refugees, and has the temerity to call them 'guests' in the country?"

"Don't get me wrong, I'm as anti-Zionist as the next random Black guy from Brooklyn," he insisted. "I'm of two minds about harassing Jews here over what goes on over there. I get it, not the same people, but really, everyone knows they're the same. Whatever. Violence isn't my thing, at least not directly. But if I want to support my fellow People of Color, my Palestinian brothers and sisters, and fight for their right to live free lives, I can't only fight for the ones in Israeli-controlled territory. I also just discovered that the Palestinians in the West Bank and Gaza even have their own elected government! Nobody tells us that! Now, I know they haven't actually held any elections in more than fifteen years, and I'm ok blaming Israel for that, I really am - but since when is a group with their own elected government under 'occupation'? Now get this - the 'refugee' camps in the West Bank and Gaza Strip, the folks who live there, are not allowed to become Palestinian citizens under Palestinian law that the Palestinian government issued, because otherwise they might decide to just live wherever instead of specifically 'returning' to their ancestors' long-gone homes in Israel itself - the same as when Palestinian President Abbas refused to allow Palestinian refugees in Syria to escape the civil war there by letting them into his territory, lest he lose valuable anti-Israel leverage by reducing Palestinian suffering even a little."

"Now take that and apply it to Lebanon, where they don't even have representation in the government," he continued. "I think we have to rethink our approach, because if we're really about helping Palestinians, we have to- hey, where is everybody going? What is WRONG with you people?"

Read all about it here!