Jerusalem, November 4 - In keeping with the organization's mandated policy of not taking sides in political disputes, a spokesman for the United Nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees (UNRWA) clarified today that the agency has no official position on how the destruction of the world's only Jewish state will be accomplished.
Spokesman Chris Gunness stressed to reporters today that contrary to recent reports of UNRWA employees violating the neutrality required of them by celebrating the murder of Jews, the agency enforces a strict code of ethics under which no specific avenue for causing the demise of the State of Israel and killing its Jewish inhabitants is shown favor or disfavor.
"You might have been hearing about teachers at UNRWA schools, or other UNRWA functionaries, allegedly violating our organization's neutrality policy," said Gunness at a press conference. "But those reports are either malicious distortions or erroneous renderings. This agency does not, and had not in the past, allowed its employees to express exclusive preference for any particular method of bringing about the end of Israel and massacring all Jews who reside there." Gunness explained that Facebook posts and other evidence that appeared to show UNRWA employees glorifying stabbing, vehicular homicide, shooting, or rockets were in fact merely metaphorical devices for conveying the purpose and goals of the organization and the population it serves, rather than a violation of neutrality regarding how best to rid historical Palestine of the usurper rapist ape-pig Jews and any pretensions they may have to sovereignty.
"I guarantee that none of the supposed violations of neutrality by UNRWA teachers, for example, stands up to scrutiny" challenged Gunness. "For neutrality to be breached, you would have to prove that the person who made the allegedly non-neutral post, or who shared an allegedly non-neutral image, is actually trying to say that the specific kind of violence being invoked is preferred over others. That's just nonsense. No UNRWA personnel are irresponsible enough to think, let alone say, that stabbing every single Jew is the only acceptable path toward bloody redemption of the homeland from the Khazar invader. Every single one of our employees has been vetted, and we have determined to our satisfaction that nary a one would object to, say, nuking Israel out of existence, or poisoning the whole country's water supply with anthrax, instead of stabbing all the Jews or running them over."
"So please stop giving coverage to these alleged violations of neutrality," he asked reporters. "This is a non story."
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