The beautiful and talented Daughter of Ziyon had an interesting JBlogosphere experience recently, and I asked her to write it down so I could exploit her talents for my blog. Since she is about to go to Eretz Yisroel for her seminary year, I wanted to get everything out of her that I could before she left....
One day, I was minding my own business and surfing through a couple of
my favorite blogs, playing link-jumping from site to site, interested
only in discovering new websites to lurk in and defeat my boredom.
I happened across a blog belonging to an Orthodox Jewish male from
Brooklyn. Now, normally I would have skipped over a blog such as this
because there are only so many times that you can read the same rant
about the strawberry and Shwekey ban in Boro Park. However, I read the
first post and discovered that this was no ordinary religious Jew
married in Brooklyn.
This man is a crossdresser.
The blogger illustrated the struggles he was going though, the feelings
he was experiencing as he really wanted to be a good Jew and observe
all of the mitzvot, but at the same time felt a pull to do something
that is forbidden by the Torah. How could the Torah deny him the one
thing that gives him the most peace of mind? He explored his
experiences, his wife's take on the whole matter, and overall it was a
very interesting read. I felt for him, and continued skimming through
his archives.
While looking through his past entries I found a post that was talking about how
he had found a new feeling of relaxation using a certain perfume, and how
his effeminate preparations for Shabbos had helped him to feel better
about himself.
About midway through the page, this man started to describe the kind
of "look" he would have if he were able to dress as a female. He
linked to pictures of the outfits, the shoes, and even the handbags he would
like to accessorize with. (He actually had pretty good taste!) He then put
together what he would love to look like if he were a female.
He then continued, "This is the look that I am going for:" and posted
a picture of a face representing his ideal version of himself.
That face was me.
I was in shock...here I was, scrolling through a blog that I found at
random, and here is my OWN face staring back at me!
The truly scary part was that I didn't remember even putting that
picture as being able to be seen by the general public. Though I used
to use MySpace, I always made sure that only people I knew and
approved could see my profile, because the security is horrendous.
The picture was a few years old, and I couldn't imagine where he got it from.
So, I emailed this gentleman, being extremely polite and complimenting his
blog. However, I told him that I was uncomfortable with my picture being
displayed in such a public forum so if he could please take it down, I
would much appreciate it.
I also joked about how I found it funny that in the comments on that post,
his fellow crossdressers seemed to think that my picture was "too Bais
Yaakovy" and how my picture was "mousy" and how he should go for a
"more glamorous" look.
He responded a few days later. He said "Wow, I finally get to meet
you!" He told me that he had been surfing through MySpace one day and
had seen my profile picture (apparently this picture had been my
default for a few weeks and I hadn't known) and that he thought I was
the "most beautiful frum girl I have ever seen. Your picture was
mesmerizing..."
He was very nice, apologized for any discomfort he caused me and
proceeded to take my picture down. (He has since replaced it with
another picture that looks like some girl's MySpace picture, but what
can you do...)
I suppose I should be flattered...this man after all is 100 percent
straight. He is married, and obviously attracted to women. However,
the fact that he wanted to LOOK like me, rather than HIT on me was
definitely an interesting experience.
And who knows? Maybe I found a new shopping buddy.
