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Friday, November 10, 2023

Minds OK With Muhammad's Flying Horse Unable To Grasp Notion Of Jewish Self-Defense (PreOccupied Territory)

Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory.

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Cairo, November 9 - Religious thinkers whose cognitive abilities can incorporate the wondrous truth of Muhammad the Prophet conducting a Night Journey to what is now a shrine in Jerusalem, leaving his mighty steed's hoofprint in the rock, and returning to Arabia before dawn, have also found difficulty accepting that Jews have a right to take steps not to be harmed, even by those who believe the flying horse story.

Islamic - and many Christian - theologians and scholars continued to struggle of late with notions of Jewish self-defense, let alone Jewish sovereignty, concepts at odds with everything the scholars understand about the world, very much unlike, for example, the not-ridiculous idea of thousands of years of documented religious tradition being a big corruption suddenly corrected by the ramblings of an illiterate seventh-century desert tribesman from half-remembered tales overheard from Jewish neighbors.

"That's not an acceptable thing," insisted a leading scholar of religions at Cairo University. "You need to think straight and not give credence to absurdities," referring, presumably, not to a non-corporeal God deciding to impregnate a human virgin with Himself so He could take human form, violating His own explicit teachings about His infinite formlessness, with the intention of having that human form get killed to save humanity from damnation that He ordained in the first place, but to any consideration that Jews control their own security and affairs instead of remaining at the mercy of host populations who force them to pay for "protection" and only sometimes get it.

"Please stop holding such ridiculous thoughts in your head," he added.

His colleagues, who accept that either seventy-two virgins, or seventy-two white grapes, depending on how one interprets the Prophet's terminology, the importance of determining which should be of some importance, you might think, go in Paradise to to those who die in holy war, confessed that they cannot wrap their heads around Jews being able to defend themselves. "Defend themselves? From whom? When has anyone ever mistreated Jews?"

"What an absurd belief."

Thinkers who represent a tradition in which the mainstream framing of its principles demanded for many centuries that Jews bear collective, eternal guilt for the death of God incarnate, who died to atone for the sins of all of humanity, in which case, the Jews did everyone a favor by engineering that atonement, expressed confusion at the thought that Jews might enjoy the right to prevent or defend against rhetorical or violent attempts by followers of those principles to harm Jews.



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