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Thursday, September 07, 2023

Bill: Have Children Run Knesset While School Out; Improved Functioning Expected (PreOccupied Territory)

Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory.

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Jerusalem, September 7 - Late summer has long proved a challenge to Israeli parents, as during the latter half of August, few, if any, camp options exist for children, and school does not resume until the first of September. A new legislative proposal aims to change that, and experts believe it would also make the parliament more efficient, effective, and competent: send the kids to the plenum and committee sessions to conduct the regular affairs of the lawmaking body.

A parental rights lobbying group urged Members of Knesset - currently on recess until after the Jewish holiday season ends in October - to adopt the proposal, which calls for childcare responsibilities to be transferred to the legislators so that parents can maintain a normal working schedule and not be forced to take precious vacation days or to forfeit wages and job security for not working. The move, the group argues, will allow the productive people in Israeli society to maintain their productivity, while giving the unproductive politicians something productive to do.

"The late August vacation is a relic of a more socialist age in Israeli society," explained Dvir Shoham, chairman of the HELP Coalition, which advocates for "sane policy" and the removal of undue hardship for parents. "Mandated vacation, which is what many of us face for our children, and sometimes ourselves as well, is bad for families' solvency, bad for the economy, and bad for those ill-prepared or ill-equipped to handle non-stop childcare duties for the entire period."

"Politicians need to step up and do something useful for once," he continued. "That's why we need this bill. We can all send our children to the Knesset, or even to the local or city council, where the children will conduct the everyday business of those bodies, and the children will do at least as good a job of it as the elected 'leaders.'"

Analysts agreed with the last point, but observed that it all but guarantees the proposal's failure. "No politician in his or her right mind will endorse a scheme that demonstrates his or her uselessness as a politician." noted commentator Ben Caspit, "Well, other than being in office. That always seems to bring out the uselessness in public figure."

"On the other hand," he added, "since a voluble chunk of progressive culture insists on the affirmation of anything anybody but a white heterosexual male says, including 'affirming' the 'expressed' gender preferences of single-digit children, this would be the logical extension of such a view. Put the children in charge. At the very least, they couldn't perform any worse than the current crew."



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