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Thursday, March 16, 2023

Son Of Synagogue Of Satan President Always Gets To Lead Dark Hymns (PreOccupied Territory)

Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory.

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 New York, March 16 - Members of a notorious assembly that Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan denounces with regularity voiced their frustration, especially among the younger set, that their organization's executive displays nepotism in ritual matters, favoring the offspring of prominent officials in the assembly for ritual stewardship tasks during Luciferian services.

Synagogue of Satan attendees complained in private this week that their own children get passed over every week in favor of the synagogue president's son when it comes to leading the medieval hymns to the Devil at the end of the service, among other instances of unfairness.

"His voice isn't even that good," insisted the child of one congregant. "But the gabbai either wants to kiss up to Mr. Rothchild or is simply afraid to assume it's OK to ask someone different to do the chanting. I could do such a better job with 'O Unholy One Who Darkens the Sun'. And he always uses the same stupid tune, when you could totally mix things up."

The few exceptions to the phenomenon over the last several years occurred when wealthy guests attended with children or grandchildren of their own, congregants recalled. "[Sheldon] Adelson brought some grandkids the last few times he was here, and you can bet the most tone-deaf of the little pishers got to lead," spat another member. "The only other non-Rothschild in the last ten years to do the call-and-response chanting of 'Master of the World, Master of the Netherworld' was related to Steven Spielberg."

Observers noted that the phenomenon only occurs with the portions at the end of the service that customarily feature children and are not a core liturgical element of the formal, weekly, goy-child-sacrifice practice that ensures continued Jewish control of culture, finance, and history. The serious, real-world nature of that rite, they explained, demands adults-only participation - though in Jewish practice, "adult" includes girls ages twelve and up, boys from age thirteen. The busy financial and political lives of the synagogue's membership necessitate diverse participation amid numerous possible scheduling conflicts.

Members with the grievance acknowledged that they find the issue a minor insult, but if it increases or persists too long, the training of the next generation in Dark Rituals will suffer from the monopolized policy. None of the congregants who spoke for this article indicated they anticipate any group splitting from the Synagogue of Satan over  to worship a different Satan.




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