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Monday, September 01, 2014

09/01 Link Pt1: Richard Kemp: Post-war, Israel must be supported; The UN, an empty presence

From Ian:

Richard Kemp: Post-war, Israel must be supported
The US and the EU in particular, as well as regional states, should be pressuring Qatar, Turkey and Iran to end their support for Hamas.
Responsibility for reconstruction in Gaza should be removed from the UNDP and UNRWA whose work has helped further Hamas’s aims.
Internationally controlled mechanisms, approved by Israel, must be put in place to ensure that materials supplied for reconstruction are not again diverted into engines of war.
All 28 EU foreign ministers have demanded that Hamas and other Gaza terrorists disarm, and it looks likely that the US will table a UN Security Council resolution along these lines.
If the EU and the US are to be taken seriously they must consider carefully the extent of any aid provision to Gaza in the absence of compliance with their demands. Improving the lot of the Gazan people should be demonstrably linked to removal of Hamas’s terrorist capability.
Hamas’s arsenal has been seriously depleted. The international community must ensure it stays that way. As I recommended in my April paper, international military and intelligence forces should work to monitor and interdict efforts to re-supply Hamas such as we saw with the Klos C weapons shipment from Iran that was destined for Gaza earlier this year.
Israel should also be supported in its own actions to prevent terrorist attacks from Gaza. Responsible nations should accept the need for Israel to control materials coming into the Strip, and should refrain from patently false accusations of illegal blockades or an illegal occupation.
These irresponsible allegations suggest an equivalence between Israel and Hamas and encourage and legitimize terrorism.
The UN Human Rights Council’s Schabas Commission is about to commence its investigation into the Gaza conflict. This looks set to be a re-run of the now discredited Goldstone investigation into the 2008-09 conflict in Gaza. Judge Goldstone’s report – falsely accusing Israel of war crimes and crimes against humanity – encouraged Hamas to continue and refine its rockets, tunnels and human shields strategy. Too many UN members supported it or abstained. Any country that does not vigorously reject a similar report by Schabas will have blood on its hands if there is another round of fighting in Gaza.
Chloe Valdary: Hamas and Hypocrites
If you come across anyone in America who calls for an end to aid to Israel for allegedly persecuting Gazans, feel free to use the below as a model response:
Notwithstanding your faulty premise, let us play along. You are American. Your tax dollars also goes to UNRWA which provides aid to Gaza all of which is pocketed by Hamas’s gang of bandits all of whom just so happen to be mostly millionaires. This money is used to maintain Hamas’s dictatorship which entails the persecution of political minorities in Gaza, the murder of gays in Gaza, the murder of so-called collaborators in Gaza, the torturing of political dissidents in Gaza, the persecution of Christians in Gaza, the teaching of martyrdom in Gaza, the conscription of 12 year olds in gaza for the sake of martyrdom, child slave labor vis-a-vis building tunnels in Gaza (wherein, according to Palestinian Arab sources, 160 children were murdered in the process) and the sanctioning of honor crimes by Hamas (and other groups) in Gaza, just to name a few. Therefore by your own standard, you must not only protest aid to Israel, you must also protest aid to Gaza since it is stolen and mismanaged (thats a nice way of putting it) by Hamas.
Moreover, these human rights abuses committed by Hamas dispels your entire premise. The idea that a blockade of Gaza which, ostensibly, persecutes Gazans is the reason why Hamas launched rockets against Israel makes no sense, when you consider that Hamas engages in ACTUAL persecution of Gazans, which you seem to be sinisterly silent about. I will give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you have been largely innocent of this fact. I await your condemnation of Hamas and your subsequent call to end all aid to Gaza based upon the standard that you have set forth.
“Disproportionate focus” on Israel?
Author and former AP correspondent Matti Friedman gives Brian Stelter his take on media coverage of the conflict in Gaza. (h/t dabney)




IS, Hamas, Iran and the West's Naiveté
The beheading of U.S. journalist James Foley has raised concerns in the West about Islamist threats. But Israel has been facing this specter for decades and – given Israel’s proximity to the Islamist threat – the Jewish state is the canary in the coal mine for the West. But Gaza seems to be the Western blind spot, even though the Hamas-IS parallels are glaringly obvious.
Since beheadings are the current media focus, and IS has beheaded infants, it’s worth noting that Hamas praised the 2011 Itamar murders, which involved the decapitation of a baby. Islamist beheadings should surprise no one, given that they’ve been happening for much of (and despite) modernity – perhaps because “Islam is the only major world religion today that is cited…to legitimize beheadings,” according to this study.
While there have been no reported Hamas beheadings of journalists, the similarities between Hamas and IS are more important than their differences.
Both would like to establish a Caliphate. Hamas Interior Minister declared as much in this 2013 speech.
Give Palestine—Not the U.N.—the Money, Responsibility, and Glory
Like all welfare organizations, UNRWA wishes "to provide" endlessly and to a unique population whose "refugee" status it has independently expanded. In doing so it insinuates itself into every level of Palestinian society and discourse, competes with the PA for international funds, and expands its welfare and legal mandates on its own authority.
Our proposal is to begin the long, painful and overdue process of shifting money away from UNRWA to the putative Palestinian state. Let "Palestine"—a "non-member observer state" in United Nations parlance—take responsibility for its own people. Let the PA show to the people of Gaza that it can "provide." We propose to give them the money, the responsibility, and the glory.
This, perhaps, is what UNRWA cannot abide.
JCPA Israel’s Decision to Declare 988 Acres of West Bank Territory as State Land
Moreover, looking to the future, the territory in question, at present, is part of a settlement bloc, south of Jerusalem, known as Gush Etzion, which was settled by Jews prior to 1948, but lost by Israel when it came under attack by Arab forces. During past negotiating rounds it became clear to Israelis and Palestinians alike that at the end of the day when a territorial compromise is reached, Israel will retain the settlement blocs (UN Security Council Resolution 242, drafted after the Six-Day War, never envisioned a full Israeli withdrawal to the pre-1967 lines in any case).
The determination that Israel will retain the settlement blocs is reflected in U.S. diplomatic communications like the 2004 letter by President Bush to former Prime Minister Ariel Sharon and the statements made by President Obama in 2011 about demographic changes on the ground and changes in the 1967 lines. The least controversial of these settlement blocs in past negotiations is, in fact, Gush Etzion.
Finally, there is the question of legality which has been a point of disagreement for many years. The question of legality comes from Article 49 of the 1949 Fourth Geneva Convention which prohibits moving the inhabitants in any occupied territory out of the occupied territory. The final section of the article also prohibits the transfer of the occupying power’s population into an occupied territory. The view of Israeli jurists, and important U.S. jurists as well (like Eugene Rostow, the former dean of Yale Law School), is that this section relates to the forcible movement of an occupier’s population into an occupied territory. This language was incorporated after World War II as a reaction to Nazi German policies of forcibly transferring German Jews to Occupied Poland for extermination. It is no wonder that the Israeli Supreme Court never ruled that settlements are illegal, despite the announcements of a number of foreign ministries around the world. (h/t Bob Knot)
UK slams Israeli decision to appropriate West Bank land, says focus should be on Gaza cease-fire
“This is a particularly ill-judged decision that comes at a time when the priority must be to build on the cease-fire in Gaza,” British Foreign Secretary Philip Hammond said Monday, adding that “it will do serious damage to Israel’s standing in the international community."
“Our position on settlements is clear: they are illegal under international law, present an obstacle to peace and take us further away from a two state solution at a time when negotiations to achieve this objective urgently need to be resumed,” he said.
“All efforts should currently be focused on securing a durable cease-fire in Gaza and the lasting peace that the Palestinian and Israeli people deserve. We strongly urge the government of Israel to reverse this decision,” he added
The British condemnation was the first of what is expected to be a wave of criticism of the move coming from Europe. European diplomats strained on Monday to understand the logic of the move which they said frustrated European governments that gave Israel a wide degree of maneuverability during the Gaza operations.
Special Interview: How IDF UAV’s Saved Lives in Gaza
Throughout Operation Protective Edge, the IDF’s “First UAV Squadron” operated non-stop in order to prevent civilian casualties in Gaza. Two senior commanders in the unit reveal how the squadron detected terror targets and minimized harm to civilians in Gaza.
The Israel Air Force ”First UAV Squadron”, also known as the 200 Squadron, operates around the clock gathering intelligence from above. “At any given moment, the squadron has UAV’s up in the air,” said Maj S., the deputy commander of the Squadron.
Israeli Druze soldiers welcomed back by their community after the war


Why Israel won – The seven mistakes Hamas made in the Gaza war
Mistake #7- The biggest mistake:
Hamas did its homework and counted on the IDF to behave in a certain way. The IDF was known to be aggressive. Hamas counted on the Israeli government ,headed by no other that hawkish Benjamin Netanyahu and his relatively new defense minister, Moshe Yaalon to remain true to their previous political statements and to be as aggressive as possible. They expected the IDF to drive into the heart of Gaza with a large army. An army which was too large and too exposed to attacks by street firefights who were willing to die for their cause. On paper, the deeper the IDF entered Gaza, the better it was for Hamas; in such narrow streets, densely populated with civilian population, tanks were either useless, easy targets, or an inhuman way of fighting.
Hamas built a massive network of tunnels inside Gaza in the most densely populated areas with the intention to attack the IDF from the front, the rear, and from all other sides while hiding behind civilian population. Once in Gaza, the IDF had two choices, either to stay in Gaza and suffer heavy casualties (and potentially multiple kidnapping of its soldiers), or withdraw with its tail between its legs. Israel would have paid a heavy political price for using its massive army in such densely populated area. In the eyes of Hamas, the more damage and more killing Israel would have done in Gaza, the better it was for Hamas.
However, despite all the provocations by Hamas, and growing internal pressure by Israeli citizens including members in his own government to stop the rocket launches by capturing Gaza, Netanyahu was not fooled. He stayed the pre-planned course of the war and used the air force to pressure Hamas into ending the war on Israel’s terms.
In the end, Hamas was defeated to a point that he had to agree to a cease fire without getting any of its initial demands fulfilled.
Comparing crimes against humanity: Hamas and ISIS
The truth about the horrors of ISIS is clear to all. The truth about Hamas has not been universally accepted. Yet Hamas's relentless aggression against Israeli civilians was publicly revealed on July 9, 2014 by Ibrahim Khraishi, the Palestinian representative to the UNHRC.
“The rockets fired from Gaza toward Israel are each and every one a crime against humanity whether they hit or miss, because they are directed at civilian targets. That is why Israel resorted to an attack against Gaza.”
The Hamas attacks, more than 4,000 rockets, and missiles were aimed at Israeli towns and villages, including Tel Aviv, Jerusalem, and Haifa. Though Hamas and its defenders pretend otherwise, all objective journalistic reporting – certainly that from outlets in France, Finland, Italy, and Japan, if not from the New York Times – attests to the fact that Hamas fired much of its weaponry from areas in or close to schools, hospitals, mosques, and even centers for disabled people.
It is abundantly clear that women and children were used as human shields to prevent Israeli retaliation. All students of international law would regard the Hamas actions as war crimes or crimes against humanity.
The leaders of Hamas make no apology for these crimes. The former Gaza prime minister, Ismail Haniyeh, who bravely sat out the Gaza hostilities in a bunker for 50 days, declared, “We started the war by firing at Haifa, and we finished it by firing on the last day [sic – actually after the ceasefire had been declared] at Haifa.”
Summer of rockets brings tense ‘new normal’ to Ashkelon
During the summer of 2014, the residents of Ashkelon fought their fears with faith in God, the IDF and Iron Dome, learning a new “normal” under a constant barrage of Hamas missiles.
Orli Avior learned to choose a restaurant for its proximity to a bomb shelter. Andi and Effie Moradian’s children learned to accept that there would be no day camp, trips, swimming or swinging in the playground.
June Narunsky learned to pare her shower down to 12 seconds so she’d still have three seconds to dash to safety in case of a Code Red siren. Khaya Dinsky learned to calm her skittish dogs with natural tranquilizer drops in their kibble.
“One never gets used to the sirens because it’s just not normal,” resident Myriam Baharav told ISRAEL21c on the morning of the August 27 ceasefire.
“But for every Ashkelonian I know, it’s become part of the deal, which in itself is not normal. It’s very surreal, this abnormality we live with,” she continues. “There’s a lot of strong faith in this city, even among those who aren’t religious. I think that is what has kept a lot of people going.”
Anger as Southern Community 'Abandoned' by IDF
Residents of the village of Netiv Ha'asarah along the border with Gaza were met with a nasty surprise last night, when they noticed that IDF soldiers stationed to protect the community during the 50-day Operation Protective Edge had disappeared.
Troops from the Nahal infantry brigade had been withdrawn without a word to the community, which still feels vulnerable despite the destruction of over 30 "terror tunnels" dug by Hamas in preparation for attacks on that community among others.
According to Channel Two, no alternative security force had been moved in to replace them, leaving the community feeling exposed.
Lapid calls for regional summit, Hamas demilitarization
Speaking ahead of an international donor conference for the Gaza Strip, Finance Minister Yair Lapid on Sunday called on his fellow ministers to organize a regional summit with Middle Eastern leaders to both rehabilitate and disarm the Gaza Strip.
He also maintained that the 50-day military campaign would not take a debilitating toll on Israel’s economy, and called for Palestinian Authority control over the border crossings into the coastal enclave.
“On the 22nd of September the donor countries are scheduled to meet in New York. At that conference the countries of the world will commit aid to rebuild and rehabilitate Gaza. Israel must act before that to avoid a conference where Gaza gets support and Israel gets nothing,” he said at a press conference at the Government Press Office in Jerusalem.
“We need a regional conference, with the Egyptians, the Saudis, the Gulf States and of course the representatives of the Quartet. That conference should focus on one thing — ensuring the rehabilitation takes place alongside demilitarization,” he added.
PA TV: Israeli bombing of building in Gaza was "terror" equal to 9/11
In its latest efforts to demonize Israel, the Palestinian Authority is claiming that Israel's bombing of a building in Gaza was like the Islamist terrorist organization Al-Qaeda's airplane attack on the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001. PA TV produced a short 20-second video with a split screen showing one of the hijacked planes hitting the Twin Towers in 2001 opposite Israel's bombing of a 12-story building in Gaza from which Hamas terrorists operated. PA TV News aired this video in several news reports in the past week.
As the buildings collapse, the words "Same Terror" appear on the screen.
PA TV: Israeli bombing of building in Gaza was equal to 9/11


Abbas Blames Hamas for Delaying Ceasefire, Lying about Abduction
Palestinian Authority (PA) head Mahmoud Abbas said in a PA TV interview Thursday translated by the Middle East Media Research Institute (MEMRI), that the casualties of the Gaza war could have been avoided if Hamas had only agreed to a ceasefire early on. In the end, he said, "we went back to talking about an immediate ceasefire... this had been my position from the beginning."
"We do not want to face a massacre every couple of years," he added, and insisted that there is absolutely no difference between the initial suggested ceasefire accord and the one eventually agreed by the sides.
He said that the PA will be the one to supervise the supply of electricity, water and other aid to Gaza. "Israel has nothing to do with this," he said, although the UN may supervise the process.
Abbas also blasted Hamas for lying to him when it initially denied having abducted the three Jewish teens on June 12. "I was really surprised," he said, when it turned out that Hamas was indeed behind the murders, and even Khaled Mashaal admitted as much. Abbas explained that Mashaal's claim that the Hamas central leadership was not involved is not credible. "It would have been better if you and your men shut up," he added.
Belgian women pour fake blood in airport to protest Israel arms transport
A Belgian feminist group poured about 25 gallons of fake blood on the floor of an airport in Liege, Belgium, to protest its belief that the airport is being used to transport arms to Israel.
Six women from the Liliths activist group emptied the red liquid onto the floor of the cargo airport on Aug. 26, the English-language RT news website reported Saturday.
The UN, an empty presence
Aside from a few entirely technical reports by the U.N. observers about a fire fight here or there, their activity can largely be summed by up the opening and closing of a gate.
This brings us to the question -- what is the need for these observers? Even more so, how are there still public officials who believe that U.N. troops should be the ones supervising, for example, the border crossings with the Gaza Strip?
Israel should not have any interest in advising the U.N. how to deploy its forces around the world. Israel's accumulated experience on its borders should be studied by those who believe that a peace accord means giving up land in return for international monitoring. It would behoove them to study the ever-repeating history, now more than ever. Because it is not too hard to picture Islamic State fighters routing the unfortunate U.N. soldiers.
I doubt that anyone in the United Nations, with its known hostility to Israel, gave thought to the fact that its soldiers, who open the gates before wars, are escaping to Israel. Israel, the country vilified by almost every one of the U.N.'s institutions. The country which time after time put its faith in the U.N. and got nothing. If that's enough to convince people to drop the idea of international observers in Judea and Samaria, well then, good enough.
Heavy fighting renews between Syrian army, rebels in Golan
Heavy clashes between Syrian army forces and rebels aiming to topple President Bashar Assad’s regime flared up in the Syrian Golan Heights Monday, as the two sides continued to wage battle for control of the strategic Quneitra crossing along Israel’s northeastern border.
The Syrian army was reported to have shelled the area with massive artillery fire, and at least one heavily armed tank was said to have been taking part in the fighting as well, Reuters reported.
Israel Radio reported that at least one mortar fired from Syria landed in Israel.
An Army Radio reporter in the area wrote on Twitter that some fire was straying onto the Israeli side of the border.
After Mortar Strike, IDF Evacuates Israeli Civilians Near Quneitra
IDF radio reports that a mortar launched from Syria landed inside Israel close to 9am.
The mortar landed in an orchard alongside the border on the Golan Heights, and came from the fighting between Assad and Rebel troops.
As a result, the IDF has declared a closed military zone in a wide area surrounding Quneitra, including all agricultural fields and roads in the area until 8am Tuesday morning.
The IDF has also evacuated the Israeli farmers from danger zone to protect them.
Filipino force defied UN commander in Golan crisis
Gen. Gregorio Pio Catapang said he advised the 40 Filipino peacekeepers not to lay down their arms, and they defied the UN peacekeeping commander’s order. Instead, they staged a daring escape from the Golan camp over the weekend, ending a tense, dayslong standoff.
The disagreement is another blow to a UN peacekeeping mission that has been threatened by an escalation of violence in a buffer zone it has been guarding between Israel and Syria. A number of countries have withdrawn their troops from the peacekeeping force due to rising rebel attacks.
Forty-five Fijian peacekeepers who surrendered their firearms to the rebels last week are still being held by the al-Qaida-linked insurgents. (h/t MtTB)
Syrian rebels demand aid for release of UN force
The al-Nusra Front, an al-Qaeda-affiliated group fighting against government forces in Syria, has tied the release of the 44 Fijian UN peacekeepers it captured last week to the delivery of humanitarian aid to the Ghouta district surrounding Damascus, Al-Jazeera reported on Sunday.
The embattled Ghouta district, which is currently under the waning control of the Assad regime, made headlines last year when rockets tipped with sarin gas bombarded several rebel-held neighborhoods, killing hundreds of civilians and drawing the ire of the international community.
Kerry and Netanyahu discussed restarting peace talks, 4th prisoner release
US Secretary of State John Kerry and Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu spoke on the phone about the possibility of restarting peace talks with the Palestinians and a fourth prisoner release, Palestinian media reported on Monday.
According to a report in the London-based Al-Quds al-Arabi, Netanyahu did not respond positively during the conversation, and therefore Kerry told Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas that he is canceling his scheduled visit to the region next week.
A Palestinian source also said on the heels of the canceled visit, a Palestinian delegation, including chief Palestinian negotiator Saeb Erekat and the head of Palestinian Intelligence, Majid Faraj, will travel to Washington on Tuesday to present to Kerry a new Palestinian initiative.
According to reports, the Palestinian Authority will delay their applications to the UN Security Council and international organizations if an agreement is reached within four months.
Report: Netanyahu Canned Building Plans Under US Pressure
Senior Israeli officials report that Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu submitted to international pressure, primarily from the US, and cancelled a planned construction announcement for 2,500 housing units in Jerusalem, Judea and Samaria.
The sources told Walla! that after the June 12 abduction and murder of Gilad Sha'ar (16), Naftali Frenkel (16) and Eyal Yifrah (19), Netanyahu ordered for bids on 2,500 housing units to be published as a response to the murder, which was conducted by Hamas terrorists.
Cabinet Secretary Gen. (res.) Avichai Mandelblit was tasked with drafting the plans for 1,500 units in the Givat Hamatos neighborhood in southern Jerusalem, and another 1,000 units in Judea and Samaria communities including Ariel, Emanuel, and Beitar Illit.
The bid publications were prepared and ready to go - until Netanyahu at the very last minute waffled and changed his mind, canning the plan right before it was to be published.
Abbas prepares to get tough on Hamas, and on Israel
Even at the height of the Israel-Hamas conflict, Hamas security forces continued to crack down on Fatah activists in Gaza. There were arrests, knee-cappings of Fatah members, and even executions of “suspected collaborators” — at least some of whom were Fatah people who had been languishing in Hamas prisons for the past six years. In addition, over the weekend, Hamas members prevented the planned opening of offices for five Abbas “governors” who had been appointed on the eve of the conflict as part of an effort by the PA leader to show that he has some authority in the coastal enclave.
The PA hasn’t been idle either. In the past two days, the PA security services, the general intelligence service, and the preventative security force, have carried out a wave of arrests of Hamas operatives across the West Bank.
In other words, it’s business as usual between Fatah and Hamas: The Gaza conflict against Israel may have ended, but the conflict between the two Palestinian organizations rolls on.
Hamas-Fatah 'Unity Government' Facing Financial Meltdown
The Palestinian Authority "unity government" with Hamas is totally bankrupt, according to a leading PA minister, who blamed broken promises by America and Arab states for the dire situation.
"The government's budget is below zero, and it's starting to borrow from banks to move forward, because only less than third of donor funds that were scheduled to be received this year arrived," said Shawki Al-Ayasa, Minister of Social Affairs, Agriculture, and Prisoner's Affairs.
"The US has not provided a single penny since Jan. 1, and Europe and Arab states only provided a third of what they were scheduled to give," he lamented to the Bethlehem-based Ma'an news network
Bennett Opens New School Year at Kidnapped Teens' Yeshiva
Naftali Frenkel and Gilad Sha'ar, both 16, were abducted and murdered together with 19-year-old Eyal Yifrah by Hamas terrorists, as they hitchhiked home outside Kfar Etzion, which is located in the Gush Etzion bloc south of Jerusalem.
Speaking to students and teachers, Bennett noted how the school was at the forefront of "the difficult events" of the past summer, but said they and the Jewish people could draw strength from the fact that from "the abduction, and from there to (Operation) Protective Edge, we presented an Israel united, determined and faithful, even on the battlefield. We must always strive for determination and unity."
He added that the high school's tragic central role in the summer's crises gave the students a special responsibility to lead by example and "perpetuate" that sense of national unity.
Arab Rock Attacks on Israeli Drivers in Jerusalem, Gush Etzion
Arab terror gangs have again attacked Israeli vehicles over the past few hours on main arteries around Jerusalem.
In the early afternoon, Egged Bus No. 161, which travels through the Etzion bloc in Gush Etzion, was the target of a massive rock attack as it drove towards the capital.
Arabs hurled rocks at the sides and windshield of the bus, hoping to distract or even injure the driver enough to force an accident and stop the bus. The deadly strategy, which has been used successfully in the past, would enable the terrorists to finish off the passengers as well as the driver.
Arabs in Northern Jerusalem Hurl Rocks at Light Rail
Jerusalem Arabs attacked the Light Rail train Monday morning as it passed through the northern Arab neighborhood of Shuafat.
The attackers hurled rocks at the train – as they did a number of times last week — but failed to cause damage.
The Light Rail returned to full service on Monday for the first time after a series of vicious attacks against the Light Rail in Shuafat on August 25 caused heavy damage and terrified passengers.
Filipino UN Troops, Now In Israel, To Take Jobs In Home Care (satire)
Following a firefight with Jihadist rebels and many fraught hours during which their fate was unclear, the 75 UN soldiers from the Philippines who managed to make their way across the border into Israel are considering joining the professional field of home healthcare in which so many other Filipinos already work in Israel.
A spokesman for the group, Major Obed Siyudi, told reporters that more than half the force was interested in the career change, and that work as a UN peacekeeper would serve the men well in caring for elderly and infirm Israelis. “The UNDOF mandate, like most UN troop deployments, is wishy-washy, and confers little real authority on the soldiers themselves,” he explained, using the acronym for the United Nations Disengagement Observer Force, in place along the Israel-Syria frontier since 1974. “Because we’re supposedly neutral, we get hit with a lot of crap, which is excellent preparation for changing adult diapers.”
UN-Approved Targeting System For IDF Just Turns Off (satire)
UN representatives from various agencies expressed their horror at the number of civilians killed in the Gaza Strip, a figure that in any other conflict would be considered at or below average. However, since the subject is Israel, any sense of proportion or realism does not apply, as established in multiple UN Security Council and Human Rights Council Resolutions. The international body therefore implemented an approval protocol for armed conflict, whereby any sovereign member nation must have its targeting systems approved by the specially-formed Weapons Effectiveness Humaneness Regulation for Making Armed Conflict Happier Team (WEHRMACHT).
The WEHRMACHT, composed mainly of soldiers from Central Europe with extensive experience in how weapons affect civilian populations, determined that the Israel Defense Force’s current targeting system did not adequately account for the presence of civilians, as its definition of “civilian” did not match the requirements of International Law as it is practiced. While Israel’s definition was fairly straightforward, the UN and its affiliated agencies have insisted on a more nuanced approach in which the distinction between an acceptable target – i.e. a combatant – depends solely on that target’s ethnicity. Only if the target is Jewish does the system allow its operator to proceed.