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Tuesday, July 22, 2014

If only the IDF had Mujahadeen Magical Munitions®

The IDF spends hundreds of millions of dollars and untold thousands of man-hours on high-tech weapons and low-tech methods meant to ensure the absolute minimum of innocent lives lost in a conflict. Advanced visual systems, multiple layers of legal consultation, and even thousands of pamphlets - all designed to keep innocent people alive while targeting the terrorists hiding among them.

But it turns out that the Jewish state could have saved lots of that money and time. Because Hamas and the other terrorists have the most sophisticated, advanced weapons known to man.

Mujahadeen Magical Munitions® are specially designed not to hurt anyone but the enemy. And, judging from the reports coming out of Gaza, they are 100% effective.

I'm reading lots of news stories and tweets from journalists in Gaza, and practically every one states without any qualification that every bullet, mortar round and shell that hurts innocent people comes from the Israeli side.

A few of the journalists noted that the battles in the streets of Gaza have been heated and fierce. Hamas uses mortars, RPGs, anti-tank missiles, AK-47s, booby trapped houses, grenades, and exploding donkeys.

Yet the only victims of Hamas' weapons are Israeli soldiers, if you believe the news reports from journalists embedded in Gaza hospitals looking for the dead child that will bring them their Pulitzer prize.

While highly trained Israeli troops who are doing everything possible to minimize civilian deaths sometimes can't avoid hurting the innocent, Hamas and Islamic Jihad and the other mujahadeen who seemingly have no regard for the lives of their neighbors are really equipped with the most amazing weapons known to man.

These magical weapons must be brand new, because in the first six months of this year I counted over 30 Gazans who were killed by errant rockets and "work accidents" - when there were no active battles.  Now, based on reports from journalists whose careers are dependent on their being unbiased and fair, that number has plummeted to zero. Every single casualty is from the Israeli side - Israeli tank shells, Israeli gunships, Israeli airstrikes. Every single one.

It's good that we have such professionals reporting (and editing) the dispatches from Gaza, or else we would be completely unaware of the Mujahadeen Magical Munitions®.

Still, the journalists have not yet talked explicitly about these miraculous weapons. Perhaps you might want to tweet them to ask them to cover this amazing story - maybe they can even volunteer to be shot with one of these remarkable mujahid RPGs that never kill the innocent.

Guaranteed, they would become famous.