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Friday, June 06, 2014

JebuCanaanPhilistAmalekNatufistinians [updated]


Commenter Irony Dome wrote this brilliant musical spoof of Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. I made slight changes and added a stanza, (and then another one by special request.) And then Irony Dome added another!

We're JebuCanaanPhilistAmalekNatufistinians
A special bunch of ancient Arabs, not some common Libyans
We're older than Cro-Magnon man and anything that's simian
We're JebuCanaanPhilistAmalekNatufistinians!

Israelis say, or so they claim
That they were here before us
But now we'll put them all to shame
With this, our mighty chorus
We'll tell them how they've got it wrong
And leave them feeling bluish
We'll tell them how we go back long
Before anything was Jewish!

JebuCanaanPhilistAmalekNatufistinians
Pretending we're aboriginal American Indians
We're older than Cro-Magnon man and anything that's simian
We're JebuCanaanPhilistAmalekNatufistinians!

The Neanderthals would grunt at us
'Cause they were clearly mad
That we were here before them
And this made them very sad
We saw the dinosaurs decline
When that rock hit with a clang
We saw the seas start to align
And remember the Big Bang!

JebuCanaanPhilistAmalekNatufistinians
Our history is so lengthy its almost Darwinian
We're older than Cro-Magnon man and anything that's simian
We're JebuCanaanPhilistAmalekNatufistinians!

We tell you all that we are as old as all the ancient geysers
We hope you don't notice that Arabs have been colonizers
Our ancient roots within this land cannot stand any scrutiny
But the world will believe anything - just look at our new "unity"

[chorus]

Our name, we know, it's long and tough
And sounds somewhat atrocious
But if we say it loud enough
They'll never know it's bogus
Where are we from, we do not know
We can't make up our minds
So we just mention settlements
And the rest is left behind!

[chorus]

We can claim with a straight face our people include Jesus
Solomon, Moses and anyone else who would please us
Our history's so flexible that we can't really lose
As long as no one reminds us that those people were Jews

[chorus]