Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory
 
 
 Check out their Facebook page.




hotpink triangle
Haifa Bay Industrial Zone, March 30 - A local manufacturer of paints, dyes, and other chemicals hopes to see a sign very soon that Israeli pinkwashing activities are taking place, since he anticipates increased retail sales as demand for pink colors increases accordingly.

Pinhas Vardi, the owner and operator of the Nirlat Paint Company, told his employees at their monthly meeting yesterday that any time now, they should see an uptick in sales of pink paints and dyes, because international organizations and media have been full of discussion over Israel's policies of pinkwashing to distract the world from their relationship with the Palestinians.

"More and more pundits and activists have declared that Israel is engaging in a practice called pinkwashing, and as we experts know, that requires the right materials - materials that we make together, right here," he pronounced. "The rhetoric has become louder and more common, which leads me to the optimistic conclusion that at some point, the government will run out of pink dyes and need to replenish its stocks - and we will step in to fill that need with the fastest, highest-quality, and most affordable pink paints and dyes this country has ever seen!" he added, to the general sound of cheering.

Workers expressed a similar, if cautious, rosy outlook. "With all the bad news related to this part of the country recently, it's good to hear something promising for a change," said quality control engineer Tzvi Ut. "[Hezbollah leader Hassan] Nasrallah threatened to hit the chemical plants with missiles; all the heavy industry in the Haifa region is apparently causing cancer and other diseases; and of course we always have this city's ethnic tensions. For once, it looks like something positive will happen here. I',m not thoroughly convinced, but really hope it does."

Line worker Laha Tav confessed she anticipates a massive increase in sales. "To judge from all the pinkwashing rhetoric, it looks like successive governments have been at this for a long, long time - and that means they're going through a massive inventory of pink paint and dye," she gushed. "I'm trying not to get too worked up about this, because I don't want to jinx it, but clearly the government - the Ministry of the Interior, I guess - is going to need tremendous amounts of new materials. There will be more than enough orders for all the paint sellers in this country to fill, and then some. Pinkwashing is supposed to be this huge endeavor, so I'm looking forward to lucrative overtime pay."

A call to the Ministry of the Interior asking to speak to the Director of Pinkwashing elicited only a confused response.


We have lots of ideas, but we need more resources to be even more effective. Please donate today to help get the message out and to help defend Israel.

EoZTV Podcast

Podcast URL

Subscribe in podnovaSubscribe with FeedlyAdd to netvibes
addtomyyahoo4Subscribe with SubToMe

search eoz

Loading...

comments

Speaking

follow me

Follow by Email

translate

Share on Whatsapp


E-Book

For $18 donation








Sample Text

EoZ's Most Popular Posts Ever

Hasbys!

Elder of Ziyon - حـكـيـم صـهـيـون

This blog may be a labor of love for me, but it takes a lot of effort, time and money. For over 12 years and over 25,000 articles I have been providing accurate, original news that would have remained unnoticed. I've written hundreds of scoops and sometimes my reporting ends up making a real difference. I appreciate any donations you can give to keep this blog going.

Donate!

Donate to fight for Israel!

Monthly subscription:
Payment options


One time donation:

subscribe via email

Follow EoZ on Twitter!

Tweets

Compliments

The Jerusalem Report:"A seemingly indefatigable one-man operation, armed only with a computer, chutzpa and stamina."

Algemeiner: "Fiercely intelligent and erudite"

Omri: "Elder is one of the best established and most respected members of the jblogosphere..."
Atheist Jew:"Elder of Ziyon probably had the greatest impression on me..."
Soccer Dad: "He undertakes the important task of making sure that his readers learn from history."
AbbaGav: "A truly exceptional blog..."
Judeopundit: "[A] venerable blog-pioneer and beloved patriarchal figure...his blog is indispensable."
Oleh Musings: "The most comprehensive Zionist blog I have seen."
Carl in Jerusalem: "...probably the most under-recognized blog in the JBlogsphere as far as I am concerned."
Aussie Dave: "King of the auto-translation."
The Israel Situation:The Elder manages to write so many great, investigative posts that I am often looking to him for important news on the PalArab (his term for Palestinian Arab) side of things."
Tikun Olam: "Either you are carelessly ignorant or a willful liar and distorter of the truth. Either way, it makes you one mean SOB."
Mondoweiss commenter: "For virulent pro-Zionism (and plain straightforward lies of course) there is nothing much to beat it."
Didi Remez: "Leading wingnut"

Interesting Blogs

Categories

Abbas liar Academic fraud administrivia al-Qaeda algeria American Jews Amnesty analysis anti-semitism apartheid arab refugees Arafat archaeology art ASHREI B'tselem bahrain bbc BDS BDSFail Bedouin Beitunia beoz book review breaking the silence Cardozo Chanukah Christians conspiracy theories Cyprus Daphne Anson Davis report DCI-P double standards Egypt Elder gets results ElderToons Electronic Intifada EoZNews eoztv Erekat EU Euro-Mid Observer Fake Civilians 2014 Fatah featured Features fisking flotilla Forest Rain free gaza freedom of press palestinian style future martyr Gary Spedding gaza Gaza Platform George Galloway George Soros gideon levy gilad shalit gisha Goldstone Report Good news Grapel Guardian gunness Haaretz hamas Hamas war crimes hasbara Hasby 2014 Hasby 2016 Hebron helen thomas hezbollah history Hizballah Holocaust denial honor killing HRW Human Rights Humanitarian crisis humor Hypocrisy ICRC Ilan Pappe impossible peace incitement Indonesia international law intransigence iran Iraq Islamic Judeophobia Islamism Israel Loves America Israeli culture Israeli high-tech J Street jabalya jeremy bowen Jerusalem jewish fiction Jewish Voice for Peace jihad jimmy carter John Kerry jokes jonathan cook Jordan Juan Cole Judaism Judea-Samaria Kairos Karl Vick ken roth khalid amayreh Khaybar Lebanon leftists Linkdump lumish mahmoud zahar Malaysia max blumenthal McGraw-Hill media bias Methodist Miftah Mohammed Assaf Mondoweiss moonbats Morocco music Muslim Brotherhood Nakba Natural gas Nazi News nftp NGO NIF norpac NYT Occupation offbeat Omar Barghouti Opinion oxfam PA corruption PalArab lies Palestine Papers pallywood pchr PCUSA Peter Beinart Petra MB poll Poster Preoccupied Prisoners propaganda Proud to be Zionist purimshpiel Qaradawi Qassam calendar Rafah Ray Hanania real liberals reference Richard Falk rogel alpher roger cohen roger waters Saudi Arabia saudi vice self-death self-death palestinians sex crimes SFSU shechita sheikh tamimi Shujaiyeh Simona Sharoni SodaStream South Africa Speech stamps Syria Tarabin Temple Mount Terrorism This is Zionism Thomas Friedman Tunisia Turkey UCI UK UN UNDP unesco unhrc UNICEF United Arab Emirates Unity unrwa UNRWA hate unrwa reports UNRWA-USA Varda Vic Rosenthal Washington wikileaks work accident X-washing Yemen zahran zionist attack zoo Zvi

Blog Archive