From last night's Tonight Show:
A minister, a priest and a rabbi go into a bar. After a couple of drinks they get somewhat philosophical. The bartender asks them, "What would you want people to say at your funeral?"
The minister says, "I would hope that they would say that I was a good family man and that I always found the time for my congregants."
The priest says, "I would hope that they would say that I was kind, charitable and always thoughtful."
The rabbi says, "I would want them to say, 'Look! He's moving!'"
The Chamber Goes Silent (video)
4 hours ago